Friday Fictioneers: Until You Find Me


This is part 5 in a story I’ve returned to from previous Friday Fictioneer prompts. You can find parts one, two, three and four if you click these links. As always, I welcome constructive or positive feedback in the comments section. Each week, I try to read as many stories in the collection as possible, and appreciate those who read mine as well. On Saturdays, I participate in a weekly writing competition. Check out my blog for my story, and IF you like my work, I’d appreciate your vote enormously. It is always a nail biter!

Each week I look forward to Friday Fictioneers. Writers from around the world are brought together by Rochelle Wisoff-Fiels, to create a story from a photo prompt. Each story must have a beginning, middle and end, and writers aspire to a stick to 100 words or less. If you’re interested in joining or would like to read other stories in the collection, please visit Rochelle’s blog, Addicted to Purple.

©copyright: Dawn M. Miller

©copyright: Dawn M. Miller

(96 Words)

“And let there be light…” Marjorie laughed at the irony, as she gazed at the calming scenery.

Having chosen the blue door, she’d imagined whimsy and color; but life after death was not what she’d anticipated.  None of the loved ones who’d gone before, no watching those she’d left behind, from her perch ‘on high.’ Only solitude.

One moment lapsed into the next– golden days in the places she’d loved, with the abandon to savor them.

Offered the choice of only one companion, she waited in the eternal sunshine for Henry– hoping he would find her.

*        *       *

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Aside | This entry was posted in Aging, Awareness, Beautiful places, Beauty, Blogging, blogs, Death, Flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, Honest observations on many things, Life, Love, Natural beauty, Tales From the Motherland, Toward the Light, Weekly Writing Challenge, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

62 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: Until You Find Me

  1. Adam Ickes says:

    So she can choose one companion and she chose Henry. What if Henry doesn’t choose her? Does her Heaven then become her Hell?

  2. Dear Dawn,

    One of these days I might go back and reread the other parts. Meanwhile you write them well enough that each stands alone. Very nice.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  3. What if Henry doesn’t make it to heaven? Yikes! And Adam’s thought about Henry not choosing her is a good one, too.

    janet

  4. K.Z. says:

    a nice continuation of the story. being given the choice of only one companion for eternity is a very intriguing concept. i know who i’m going to pick, but i hope that they choose me :)

  5. znjavid says:

    This is a tricky one. I hope everyone ends up with the right partner.

  6. I hope everyone ends up with the right person for them. Very good story.

  7. That would be a difficult choice to have only one companion for eternity.

  8. That’s odd. Henry chose me. Go figure.

  9. I like it Dawn, I think life after death is not going to be as we anticipate it, but it will be interesting. Well written.

  10. I enjoyed going back and reading the whole story. Great job tying all of the pictures together!

    • Thanks so much Riya, and welcome to TFTM. I hope you’ll think about checking out some other posts as well. I haven’t gone back to read the other stories, myself… I just go with the new story and keep a shadow of past bits in my head. I’m glad it flows. ;-) Again, thanks for your time and attention; much appreciated.

  11. DCTdesigns says:

    I hope for her sake she chose wisely and Henry returns to her. But I suspect even the afterlife is not linear. Great story.

  12. claireful says:

    You inadvertently posed a really good question at the end of this – if we were only allowed one person in heaven who would we ask for. What a difficult question, and a lovely story.

    • I should be clearer here, there was nothing inadvertent about it. As I said to Adam, in the first comment… that is exactly what I wanted to throw out there, but I did not want to spell it out. I like to leave the reader thinking things for themselves. It is a really difficult question; I’m not sure I know what my answer would be. I’m really glad you liked it Claire.

  13. Deanna Herrmann says:

    I love this idea about choosing someone to be with for eternity! I guess I need to go read the others. :-) Nicely done as always, Dawn!

  14. El Guapo says:

    She should leave a light on for Henry.
    HAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Sorry. Nice piece, well done!

    • Right! One of the others stories in this collection was about leaving on all the lights for someone to see in heaven! We could have combined our stories and done that. ;-) Glad you liked it Guapo! I’m working on a really cool piece (I hope) for the writing contest this week. It includes music… so be ready to vote. I have a feeling it will be right up your alley! ;-)

  15. Honie Briggs says:

    I’m going to suspend my disbelief and hope Henry shows up. Intriguing topic I can’t usually wrap my head around until someone writes it just right. Thanks.

  16. Nan Falkner says:

    Very interesting prospect – Heaven with only 1 person for eternity – What about all the other people you love – I’m confused. Even if it is someone you love with all your heart – The thought of time is unbearable if you can’t flit around with wings. Remember the Elizabeth Barrett Browning Poem : “If God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.” (I think -it’s been awhile since I read it.) Well, I could be wrong – but time will tell. Good thought provoking story! Nan

    • Thanks Nan. I’m so glad you enjoyed the story, or that it was thought provoking. When the idea came to me, it was really tricky… it would feel a bit like hell to not be with the others I love, but that’s what makes it interesting. I have a feeling this story is not over yet… ;-)

  17. Mike Lince says:

    So the blue door leads to a solitary place for how long? Sure, Henry was no doubt a great guy, but for eternity? And she doesn’t even know if he’s coming? Damn, I knew she should have taken the red door.
    I enjoyed your whimsical concept of the afterlife. Would ‘whimsical’ be the right word? There is a sinister element to being alone for what could be a long time – like waiting for a bus in the middle of nowhere not knowing if it is even scheduled to run. Your story made me contemplate a subject I do not often think about. Thanks for the clever story. Sometimes I hate that it is so brief. The best part is I can see how it helps you hone your writing skills. – Mike

    • Thanks Mike. I do think that the idea of what comes after is a daunting thought.Waiting, for how long? And does time feel the same in the afterlife? Is the love of your life worth waiting for? And finally, for the recored, I never said this was heaven. ;-)

  18. Linda Vernon says:

    Ah I love this. It’s highly imaginative. Henry must be a super nice guy if she wants to spend eternity with him! :D

  19. MissTiffany says:

    I am loving how these all connect together. I hope Henry does find her.

  20. I hope it’s a happy ending for her and she’s choosing the right person. I have the same question as Adam, what if he doesn’t choose her? That would be quite the disappointment! Great continuing story, Dawn!

    • Thanks Amy… I have a few thoughts percolating about how this might go down. Up until now, it’s just been a story that evolves as the prompts inspire me… now I have some thoughts about where it might go. Thanks for the feedback! ;-)

  21. I love that the stories have connected. I was thinking of trying to do that, too. Nice one, Dawn!

  22. rgayer55 says:

    Shades of “let’s make a deal” What’s behind door number three? At least she didn’t wind up with a goat. :)

  23. Solitude.. To some extent that’s what I expect from what’s behind the blue door.

  24. Intriguing. I wonder if Henry will find her. I like how you left it uncertain at the end. :)

  25. Aah! I hope Henry chooses her. I also hope he doesn’t get stuck behind some other door or someplace he can’t get to her that would be too bad.

  26. draliman says:

    I caught up with the story so far (thanks for posting the links). It’s a very sad story – I hope Henry finds her. I’m wondering if he’ll find someone else in the mean time and spend his afterlife with her instead,

    • I think this could go many directions… it really does depend a bit on the prompts. Thanks for taking the time to read the other stories in the series too! I appreciate the time and energy. I add the links, just in case someone is interested. Sometimes it pays off. ;-)

  27. I am a hopeless romantic I am confident that Henry will choose her. That his “trip” will be an easy or direct one, we will have to wait and see.

  28. Eena says:

    I was struck more by how you shaped heaven as golden moments shifting into another in all the places she loved. Between solitude in such paradise and the company of only one person but possibly in damnation, I’d get a headache figuring out which is better!

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