I am making another effort for the Friday Fictioneers… which, thanks to the patient assistance of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, the creator of FF, and Amy over at The Bumble Files, I think I finally understand. The photo prompt comes out on Wednesday, and then contributors “write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)”
When I saw this photo, I immediately thought of the events of 9/11, as the prompt came out on the anniversary. It is also the High Holidays, in the Jewish religion, and I thought of all the immigrants that came to America, greeted by Lady Liberty. From those two thoughts, came this story… at 105 words. The story started at 138 words, and try as I did, I could not cut it down any more. Please feel free to leave feedback.
Never one to stand on circumstance, Sam held the smooth ceramic jar in his hand. The cool weight struck him— so many memories, and history, a lifetime of complexity and grace, contained within a single jar.
The sun on the water danced and shimmered— a million sparkles against a hazy sky. His sisters watched as Sam carefully removed the lid, stepped to the side of the boat, and tipped the jar.
“She survived the Holocaust, and arrived with only her dreams. Today we say goodbye where those dreams began. We love you Mom.”
Her ashes caught the breeze and then settled on the brilliant water.
TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
what a way to set the scene. I really enjoyed this. Fantastic
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Thanks so much unfettered!I’m really glad you liked it. 🙂
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105 perfect words, thank you
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Wow; thank YOU Barbara! Such kind words of support. 🙂
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Dear Dawn,
I can see places where you could pare it down to 100 words, but this piece is so stunning it doesn’t really seem worth the effort. A beautiful remembrance of children who appreciated their mother. Lovely.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. Man, I kept struggling with which words I could cut… but just couldn’t let them go! No wonder I had crazy dreams about protecting my “babies!” I appreciate the feedback.
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Lovely story!
janet
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Thanks Janet! Much appreciated. 🙂
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Lovely. I don’t think you need to worry about slipping over the word count at all. Please come back next week!
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Thank you so much Freya. I know it’s not a big deal, but oh how I love the challenge of that 100. I just couldn’t cut it any further. This is my second. Last week was exactly 100, and I hope to get there again next week. I appreciate the encouragement and feedback. 🙂
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Simply fabulous, Dawn. A beautiful story in 105 words!
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Thanks Cathy!
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That was a great little piece, such much emotion neatly packed into a few meaningful words. Great job 🙂
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Thanks you so much Helen. I really appreciate you checking out my story, and leaving your thoughts!
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Great title .
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Thanks Dan! And yet, I struggle, struggle and struggle more to figure out a solid title for my novel! Thanks for taking the time.
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Some nice phrasing in here. Good job.
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Thanks so much for checking it out and weighing in, Paul.
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Dear Dawn,
I’m crying. That’s about the best comment I an bestow upon your stellar story. I scattered my father’s ashes at sea three years ago and the memories your story evoked have started of my night with a rush of emotion. Excellent work.
Aloha,
Doug
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I am sincerely touched, Doug. I scattered my mother’s ashes at sea, last summer. It is an emotional letting go, for sure. It means a lot that you read my story, and it touched you in this way. Thanks for sharing! dawn
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A beautiful story, very well done.
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Thanks! Your feedback is much appreciated.
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Brilliant!
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Thanks! That means a lot. 🙂
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Dawn,
What a beautiful, phenomenal story. I wouldn’t change a thing. I especially enjoyed the way you talked about the water in this piece. Really nice!
Amy
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Thanks, Amy. The water seems so key… and I am so drawn to water. That single boat is heading away was so evocative too. Liberty, and all the rest… evokes so many things, as all the other posts demonstrate. Thanks for bringing me on board! 🙂
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So glad you’re here, Dawn! I’m always amazed each week with all the different stories. It’s a great group. I think you’ll really enjoy it.
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Thank Amy. I’m glad I finally checked it out. Love the other stories; so fun!
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I have chills! I loved this story. My heart aches for the families who were touched in some form by the Holocaust. It’s wonderful to remember that many endured.
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Thanks so much Janine. Yes, it’s essential to remember that many endured, otherwise, we might all give in to despair. My father in law lost almost all of his family, but he has lived a good life, as have his children. Powerful history. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my story, and for your kind feedback.
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My family was in Germany during WWII but they were not Jewish. They hated what was happening to the Jewish people and were horrified to learn about what was going on, but powerless to stop it. They hated everything about Germany then and when their eldest daughter, my aunt, married an American GI and left for America with him, he sponsored the rest of her family (mom,dad,sister – my mom, and even their dog) to come to America. So in 1955 that’s how that side of my family came to America.
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Wow! That is an amazing story, Janine. We currently have a German exchange student for the school year, and my son visited them in Munich this summer. Thanks for sharing.
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A lovely tribute.
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Thanks, Dawn. I appreciate your feedback.
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Beautiful, emotion-filled story, Dawn, and I really like the title you’ve chosen for it.
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Thanks again for taking the time. The title came to me right away, but I noticed that several other entries had two part titles. Interesting… must have something to do with the prompt/photo? Thanks.
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