This is another contribution to Friday Fictioneers, over on Rochelle-Wisoff-Fields’ site. Each week, Rochelle posts a photo prompt, and participants write a 100 word story to accompany it, which has a beginning, middle and end. It has quickly become a weekly addiction. Check out other entries here. Here is my entry, with 100 words exactly. I always welcome feedback. Please leave a comment.
copyright Rich Voza
Into The Blue
Marjorie moved hesitantly across the field, toward the three doors—her confusion only momentary, as she flashed back over her years as a kindergarten teacher. Primary colors, very original, she thought.
At first it was confusing, the blur of memories. So true; it flashes by, she said, to no one in particular. Such bright moments, difficult challenges… and the love. She wanted more, but understood the choice before her.
I choose blue: the color of the sea, the sky and my lover’s eyes; then she stepped through the blue door.
“Time of death: 11:23 a.m. Let’s go tell her husband.”
TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
Gave me a shiver, truly. I love this one.
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Thanks! Your comment gave me a smile. Truly. Thanks so much!
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wow, I love this surprises, starting so harmlessly…great story!
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Thanks so much. It was fun to go in a different direction with this one. I appreciate your feedback! 🙂
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I wonder if she knew she was dead and if she’ll be happy to see her husband. Hmm…I think the first one is a yes. Nice one. Eerie!
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Thanks Amy. Her husband is still alive (final line), and she refers to him as her lover. In my mind, she realizes she’s dead just as she chooses, choosing blue for all the happy things it represents.
As always, thanks so much for commenting! Much appreciated.
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Okay! Got it! Thanks. I was thinking husband was already dead waiting for her, which actually doesn’t make as much sense. Leave it to me to come up something that makes less sense!
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Leave it to you, to read it and think about it… I appreciate that. 😉
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Oh tftm, you led me on a journey and then struck me down, great that you did so. There’s a hint though of callousness about the last sentence, maybe that’s the beauty of the piece….I did enjoy. I shall follow you, if you don’t mind. I like the way your mind works.
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Thanks Summers… The callousness is the inherent clinical posturing of those who say those words, over and over. I wanted there to be a little mystery to a point, but give enough clues that a reader might figure it out (ie: the memories that “flash” by= my life flashed in front of my eyes)… Glad you liked it and happy to have you ride along. My mind is full of twists and turns. I am really enjoying the FFs; and got Fresh pressed for my Weekly Writing Prompt, last week…so many challenges, so much fun. 😉
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You make me wonder what the other colors signify for your character. Nicely done. I enjoyed this..
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Thanks… I hadn’t thought through the red or the yellow; as the blue was so clear. 😉 Thanks for weighing in and sharing your thoughts! Much appreciated!
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Oh wow! I love this. I have a feeling she was happy with her choice . You were able to convey so much of her character in such a short time. And what a provocative portrayal of death! Nicely written!
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Thank you so much Linda. I was hoping to give the readers a real sense of who she was (teacher, wife, lover of the ocean, sky and her love) and dying. I’m really liking this challenge. The tighter you can get the story, the better the writing… and that’s a fun challenge! Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Powerful and touching . Well done !
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Thanks Dan. As always, I’m grateful for your time and feedback.
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Great take on the prompt. Well done.
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Thank you very much Sandra. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. 🙂
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Dear Dawn,
This is one of the good ones. Congratulations.
Aloha,
Doug
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I’m honored to hear that. Thanks Doug! Have a wonderful day!
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Dear Dawn,
Your stories are fast becoming an addiction of mine. You gave us a sense of who she is with few words. Primary colors…a teacher. Well layered story that pierced my heart.
Shalom,
Rochelle
(no “h” is Wisoff 😉 )
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Dang! I keep getting that name wrong Rochelle, even when I double check. Stuck. Sorry about that. I’m sincerely honored that my stories touch you. And I’m grateful that you give us all something to look at each week; thanks! Dawn
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Doors to the afterlife, interesting. The question is which door goes where? Do they all go to the same place or does making the wrong choice throw a serious wrench in your happy eternity? Also, when the husband dies, if he chooses a different door will he never see her again? So many questions. Shame on you for making me think this early in the morning!
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Personally, I’m not sure there is a wrong door; I think we each just choose our own path… now and then. That said, I’m glad my story made you think, Adam. Thanks for taking the time; much appreciated!
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Oh, that was good.
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Why thank you so much lingeringvisions. Your feedback is much appreciated. 🙂
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This was great!! The last line a true ‘gotcha!’ and the shades of blue came automatically to my mind.
Damn girl, you’re dangerous with that keyboard 😉
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Damn girl, I’m mighty honored that you think so! thanks friend.
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Geat surprise.. wonder if her husband did it… those blue eyes sounds like bad news
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I think not… I imagine she died, after a bicycling accident, or perhaps an aneurysm. But you never know… Thanks for dropping by Björn, and taking the time to leave some feedback. Much appreciated.
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Reblogged this on Tales from the Motherland and commented:
Several of my posts have disappeared… so, I’m reblogging for now. Enjoy!
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Clever. Interesting angle on life after death. I can’t be sure who is doing the talking at the end. It occurred to me it might be the ‘relevant authorities’ but maybe not, maybe the heroine’s helpers in the spiritual dimension and that they would contact the husband via visions/dreams perhaps. Ann
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The final voices are those of the doctor, pronouncing Marjorie dead. Traditionally, the main trauma MD or surgeon pronounces TOD and then, they inform the family. I wanted that moment to snap the reader back. The moments before, are her experiences as she faces that.
Thanks so much for stopping by, Ann. I appreciate you taking the time to read, and your unique perspective on the story. Hope you’ll stop by again. 🙂
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I will almost certainly stop by again. 🙂
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Well that, is very sweet to hear! Thanks Ann.
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🙂
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Very good. We do seem to be on common ground this week. 🙂
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Yes… I think, generally, there were 3 main approaches: life/death (which we headed toward); sci-fi; or movie set… interesting perspectives, all around. Thanks for stopping by, Pete. Much appreciated. 🙂
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I like your use of color in this. Especially since when I dream, color always seems to be prominent. Also, I liked the feeling of peace that came with the story – the woman was obviously ready to go. Nicely done!
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I think it caught her off guard, and yet she was calm. Why Marjorie is in the trauma room is not clear, but I imagined her calm. Glad you liked it Tiffany, and appreciate you stopping by to read and comment. Thanks!
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You packed in so much into 100 words. A bit of her past, things important to her (beautiful that she called her husband her lover), and the mystery of the three doors, of wondering what they would lead to in the afterlife. Also, I liked her reasons for picking the blue door. This was a really good read.
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Thanks, so much. I wondered if people would see that she called her husband her lover, not someone else. It was tempting to clarify, but I opted to just leave it, and I’m glad that you saw it. 😉 Thanks so much for stopping by to check out my work. I appreciate the specific, direct feedback. Hope you’ll read more, and let me know what you think.
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Good one! I was not expecting that ending!
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Thanks! I appreciate you reading it and leaving your thoughts. These stories are such a fun challenge!
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She chose the calm, peaceful blue door that represented sea, sky, lover’s eyes. Way to go, both you and her!
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Thanks so much Patti! I felt good about her choice, and mine. 🙂 I’m glad it resonated with you as well. Thanks for stopping by, and for sharing your thoughts. Much appreciated!
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I’m glad you revisited this story. I missed it somehow back then, but I love it. It has such a peaceful, yet melancholy feel.
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Thank you Dave. I’m touched that you enjoyed it and appreciated my effort to continue it. Thanks for taking the time. 🙂
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