Here’s Friday Fictioneers, the greatest free show in town! Rochelle Wisoff-Fields runs this band of merry writers, where participants are asked to write a 100-word story, with a beginning, middle and end, using a photo prompt. It’s a wonderful challenge with lots of interesting outcomes. Check out other participants here. One of these days, I plan to get up extra early to be one of the first contributors… this West Coast delay is always a bummer!
I always welcome feedback: positive or constructive. Leave something in the comments, and make my day. Check out Tales From the Motherland on Facebook, and hit like. I will smile for hours.
(98 words)
His sword was a blur as men fell beneath and around him. Blood flowed across the field, where even the bravest were slain. His eyes were fixed on the chaos, determined to survive and see his family again. Young, strong and valiant, he fought for a Republic that promised a better life for his young sons and daughter. He was willing to die for that hope. Ignoring the carnage, he fought on.
“Such a remarkable face! He’s exquisite.” Susan ran her fingers across the ornate mantel. “Who is he?”
The antiques dealer shrugged. “Who knows? Some nameless soldier.”
Carmen made me think of this. A favorite song, and reminder of our mortality. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wp4O7v5320
Sad but true, isn’t it? Good reminder for us to not be so blase or take things for granted.
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Indeed! What is critical to us now, can so easily be lost to the future. Thanks for reading, Carrie. I really appreciate your support. 😉
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Good story about the relativity of all things, past, present, and future. Of course the valiant guy in the first paragraph was modeled after me, no doubt. PLEASE DON’T ANSWER THAT!
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I hate that I’m so transparent… to you. 😉 Thanks for taking the time, my aMUSEing friend.
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That last line was a killer, really great piece 🙂
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Thanks Helen! I always appreciate your feedback. Like you, I prefer to end with a zinger… 😉
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that’s really sad..and unfortunately,too real. i really like where you took the prompt.great story.:-)
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Thanks… it is sad. That which we most care about, is often lost in time. As always, these prompts take me to completely unexpected places.
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Such a creative and fresh take on this photo. That last line said it all. Just wonderful.
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Thanks Anja. I hope to bring something original to the stories each week. It’s always a fun challenge, and special when my peers appreciate the effort. 🙂
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Yet, his energy lives on in the sculpture…and Susan felt that. Nice piece, Dawn.
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We all live on somehow… I hope. But, in the end, so often our deepest beliefs and hopes, are lost to time. N’est cest pas?
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Ces’t vrai!
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😉
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His heroism immortalized by sculpture, his name forgotten through the ages–how often that happens. Good story.
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Exactly. As much as things matter to us, they rarely last for others. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts; much appreciated!
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I choose to believe he won the fight. Nameless to some antiques dealer but his sons and daughters know his name.
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I choose to believe that too, Dawn. It’s something I hold in my hopes. Thanks for taking the time!
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Excellent piece, very well done.
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Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to check out TFTM and share your thoughts. This week’s challenge was a good one, with some fun and surprising results.
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Yes in more ways than one.
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Dear Tales, Oberon has suggested we widen our net, so to speak and look at your blog, I must say it is a very striking story you have presented, a little sad but very well done. I have been told not to be rude on other people’s blogs, so I am holding my tongue, though you might like to look at the spelling in your title, heroes’ might be the word you seek. Sorry that was the pedant Oberon, I would never be so rude. Love Titania.
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Well Titania, I’m glad you and Oberon felt compelled or even tempted to come by. I appreciate the time and effort. I also appreciate feedback. I think many of my FF stories or blog posts lean towards a “little sad,” but I’m glad for “well done.”
On second glance, I think the error in my title is that it should be Hero’s… Hereos’ would refer to ownership by multiple heroes. So, it is not at all rude to provide helpful feedback and I’m grateful Oberon was inclined to comment. However, if it’s not rude on my part (and dare I say, I think it’s not), I believe we were both wrong and I’ve corrected it to Hero’s… ownership by one hero. 😉 Thank you! Love, Dawn
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Dear Dawn, I am overjoyed that he was wrong. I shall stick it to him well and truly. Well done good lady. And you are right there’s only room for one hero. Love Titania.
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Now, now… let’s put the sticks away and all get along. 😉 I’m forever grateful that he drew my attention to the title, and there was an indeed a mistake. So, I guess the details are technicalities. xo Dawn
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Dear Dawn, I shall abide your wishes, as for getting along, NEVER, the bastard steals my lines and claims them as his own. otherwise we do get on like a house on fire. Love Titania.
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Hmm, well then. I would never dream of getting between a gal and her lines! Go at. I’m glad to have both of you on my side. 😉
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I always love little twists at the end. Well done, Dawn.
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Thanks Emily. So happy to have you stop and comment. 😉 Much appreciated, friend.
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I loved it. The act of bravery is enough. Does he speak for all the nameless soldiers who die for us? Really great, Dawn! You’re so on top of this!!
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Yes, he speaks for all of the nameless soldiers, and all of the meaningful causes that are forgotten over time. I saw that face, and wondered who was he? What was important to him? How was that forgotten…
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Nice! I wondered, too, when I saw the photo. Nice take on it.
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Thanks Amy. I really appreciate your support and feedback. 🙂
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I love your story which has so much mythology suggested in this brief excerpt. I envisioned Excalibur in the hands of young Arthur, who came to symbolize a force willing to fighting against evil to make a better world for his family, his kingdom, his legacy. ‘Some nameless soldier?’ Perhaps. Or perhaps a legendary hero. While there is power and beauty in the image, we will never know what secrets the sculptor kept concealed in the stone. – Mike
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Such a thoughtful comment, Mike… I love that you took this to another level and shared some real thoughts here. I do think that mythology and the hero’s tale is something that stirs so much, in many of us. Always love seeing your mug on my blog, Mikie! 🙂
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A great take on the passing of time and how in a few hundred years many of the things we’re fighting for now and care about passionately will have been forgotten. Your story left me with a wonderful feeling of melancholia.
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Thanks Claireful. I’m glad you got my message, and enjoyed my story. Thanks for taking the time!
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Dear Dawn,
It’s sobering to think of the hero’s glorious past being reduced to a nameless stone image. Your segue from past to present is seamless. Well-crafted. Good job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Many thanks Rochelle. I found the image very sobering. It was tempting, at first, to go with a fantasy or battle story, but when I gave it a little time, the story seemed clear for me. Your kind feedback is much appreciated.
Shalom, Dawn
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Dear Dawn,
I loved this story.
As writers I believe we are all striving to leave our mark on the world. It is a quest for the closest thing we can have to immortality. Your story captures well the sadness of all the lost soldiers and untold sacrifices and stories of them that are missing from the long narrative of the planet. A Very sad and compelling piece.
Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathom’d caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.
http://www.blupete.com/Literature/Poetry/Elegy.htm
Well done,
Aloha,
Doug
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Thank you so much, Doug! Such a thoughtful comment. Beautiful poem– I read it a few times; it has so many layers. I appreciate your thoughtful feedback. Aloha! dawn
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How perspectives change!At least he was a hero in his life-some consolation that!A poignant piece,loved this unusual take:-)
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Thank you so much for stopping by TFTM to check out my story. Your feedback is so nice, and much appreciated! I hope you’ll stop by again. 🙂
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:-)It was a pleasure and yes I hope to be a regular contributor and reader.
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I’m working my way through the stories, but welcome! Always great to have new readers/writers… I started about 2-3 months ago, and FF quickly became a real addiction! You’ll love it!
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Yes,all these sites are so addictive:-)
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Blimey, Dawn, that brought us back to earth and the present day with a shock. Great piece.
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Blimey indeed! Thanks Mike. I really appreciate your feedback– we all need to be brought back to earth sometimes. 😉
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as always, a remarkable story with an unexpected twist. My hope is, that nobody is forgotten as long there are people who think of him/her…
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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I think that we are always relevant and remembered, as long as those we love are still around. After that… sadly, “all we are is dust is in the wind.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wp4O7v5320
Danke for your feedback, Carmen!
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Well written — with a bittersweet twist.
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Thank you Helena. I appreciate your feedback, darlin’.
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A topical take on the prompt – nicely done. Liked it.
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Thanks Sandra. I appreciate your time and feedback.
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Well, I have to add my compliments for a really well wrought and perceptive tale. Such a sad state of affairs, but beautifully told.
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Thanks so much Lindaura! I really appreciate your feedback and time.
I hope you saw my note on your post. I can’t seem to log on to comment (several attempts, over a few wks), so I will have to remain “anonymous.” Just figured out that I can comment that way. Really enjoyed your post as well. 🙂
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Nice twist at the end. So easily to dusted over with time and forgotten.
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Exactly! All we are is dust in the wind… Sadly. Thanks for stopping by Kourtney.
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Heartbreakingly lovely.
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Thank you so much, Jan. Such a kind comment; it’s much appreciated!
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This is a poignant and moving story. It’s so true that history only remembers a select few. Well done!
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So true! great for the few, a bit sad foe the rest of us! Thanks for returning, Karen. Your time and comments are much appreciated.
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It’s a pleasure. I look forward to reading your stories each week.
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Wonderful story and one that perfectly captures the truth of wars through the ages, past, present and future (although I hold out hope that in the future humanity might find a way to not need soldiers to die anymore). Great work!
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Thanks so much for visiting TFTM, and sharing your thoughtful and insightful feedback. I too am a bleeding heart hopeful gal, and I love to “imagine all the people, living life in peace…” Perhaps we are both (the best kind of) dreamers. Thanks for taking the time; it’s much appreciated by this dreamer. 🙂
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Superb.
And so appropriate this weekend.
A gem.
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Many thanks to AnElephant. I am touched.
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How sad. Such dedication and honor and passion for his cause, yet ages have passed and no one remembers it.
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This Veteran’s day, it is a good thing to remember… thanks for dropping by Miss T!
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Indeed it is! You’re welcome, it was my pleasure!
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I read this, and my first thought was Shelley’s Ozymandias. You’ve done a remarkable job in this piece, and it’s an excellent read. It’s not just wars and soldiers that are one day forgotten; deeds and stone also fall to time.
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Thanks so much CherryPickens. Indeed, it is NOT just soldiers and wars, but so much of human effort, nature, deeds and stones… it’s all is lost, in time… eventually. Your feedback is very kind and much appreciated; thank you!
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The end of that gave me goosebumps. It is a great story
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Thanks so much Al. Really glad you enjoyed it… but again, it was a great prompt! 😉
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🙂
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Must say it’s sad to realize that sooner or later dreams turn to stone and dust.
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It is sad, indeed. On this Veteran’s day, it’s a good time to reflect. Thanks for stopping by, Björn.
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This one really got to me, being only a few months since I visited the military cemetery in France where my grandfather is buried. But all of your stories get to me, especially these finely-crafted shorties. They always leave me wanting more! I really need to have these fleshed out into a collection of short stories. So get right on that, now, will you dearie? 😉 Pretty please? I like this Susan, and detest the antiques dealer. Just from a few well-chosen words. Imagine the possibilities…
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Thanks so much Valery! I was thinking about Veterans Day, and all of the soldiers, and all of the events in time, that have been lost in our memories. Of course, those we loved remain alive as long as we remember them. So glad this one touched you, and so glad to have such a wonderful fan. Thanks for taking the time!
Sent from Dawn’s iPhone
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Well done. There is a Bible verse in the book of Daniel, I believe, that says: “…and the new king knew him not.” Which basically means that he was hot sh*t in his day, but memory fades and with it so does all our previous glory and influence. It is very chilling and reminds me not to take myself too seriously. It is the same reaction I had when reading your post.
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Thanks so much Eleanor! It chills me, as well… given Veteran’s day, this seemed a good way to go. 🙂
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Heroes, but so soon forgotten.
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Sadly, that is often true. Thanks for stopping by, Patti.
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