Please note: My computer is down and in the shop. I am lucky to get a few minutes to post my FF story this week, but found it nearly impossible, while traveling, last week, to read all of the stories I usually read, or respond to emails. Thanks to those of you who patiently read my post; I’ll try to get back to y’all this week! This is part 3 of a story that started with the door prompt, in September. You can find part one here, and part two here, if you’re interested. Part 1 and 2 were Marjorie’s view, here is the other side.
It’s Friday Fictioneers, the greatest free show in town! Rochelle Wisoff-Fields runs this band of merry writers, where participants are asked to write a 100-word story, with a beginning, middle and end, using a photo prompt. Check out other participants here.
I always welcome feedback: positive or constructive. Leave something in the comments, and make my day. Hit Like, to feed my vanity.
I try very hard to read each story in the weekly series, and appreciate those of you who visit mine.
Please check out Tales From the Motherland on Facebook, and hit like. It will give me another reason to be Thankful.
Copyright: Adam Ickes
(99 Words)
Henry sat on the stump and wiped his eyes. Tears, sweat, it all felt the same: burning pain. He held the small wooden box and gazed out across the ridge and peaks beyond. He’d risen early to hike to their favorite spot, where they’d fallen in love, forty-five years earlier as young Rangers.
Now he was alone. Six months since the bicycle accident, and he still had trouble sleeping or getting through his day without his best friend and wife.
“Marjorie, I love you darling. Until we meet again…” Henry cast the fine ash into the gentle breeze, and smiled.
TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
How was ‘Wicked’
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It was WICKED good! What did you think of this story??
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sad and sweet at the same time .. i expect that kind of dedication from my future husband 🙂 a great part 3
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Thanks KZ. Their story is running through my head, and I was excited to add the husband’s story. Thanks for taking the time. 🙂
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Ah, very nice. Glad they had so much time together.
janet
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I think I’ll keep bringing this one back… give it more flesh and bones, as I go along. Thanks for taking the time Janet. Much appreciated!
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A lovely story, Dawn, and a creative continuation of the serial.
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Thanks Jan. The serial has evolved in my head, and I can almost see where it’s going. Depends on the prompts that come next. 😉
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Sad and sweet and beautiful… so very different from my own. 🙂
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That’s what is so great about FF… all the wonderfully different stories, from the same photo! I love your photo, Adam… I have an entirely different story running through my head, for this photo! Thanks for your kind feedback!
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Love the story! Sad and beautiful. Great work!
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Thanks so much! Much appreciated.
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I’m ready for Part IV. Bring it on, I think even I will cry!
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Even you?? 😉 I’m already thinking about it… but I need the right prompt. We shall see…
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Nicely done!
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Thanks!
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I went back to parts I and II to refresh my memory. It all came together nicely as I re-read part III and all three parts were more lucid for me than when I had read them the first time. I can see the bigger story that you probably have in your head. It will be a story worth waiting for, I think. I can imagine your writing being the outlet for your passion as motherhood demands less of your time going forward, and I think you are building a fine fan-base on which to launch such an endeavor. I look forward to the day when you are a published author and I can say, “I know her!” – Mike
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Thanks Mike! You will have been one of my first “fans.” I’ll still find time for coffee and lunch… 😉 I do want to be doing more writing and need to just make the time! I seem to be finding myself pulled into all kinds of other things lately, that demand way too much (volunteer things)… boundaries! Eek. Thanks again for your wonderful support.
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I had to revisit the first two parts! Henry and Marjorie continue their journeys separately and you tell them so nicely. Simply yet delicately. I would love to read more about Henry. I wonder, which door would he take when his time comes?
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Thanks Eena. Yes, I felt it was time that Henry have the spotlight for a while. I’m enjoying exploring this story… and waiting to see where it’s going. It depends on the photo prompts and what speaks to me and the story. Thanks for the wonderful feedback! Much appreciated.
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Awww I loved this..it really touched my heart. I enjoy each of your tales. 🙂
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Thanks so much Anja. I am becoming attached to this story line… we’ll see where it goes!
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Beautifully written scene of loss, sorrow and, hopefully, acceptance. Sounds like a nice spot as a final resting place. Excellent story! Ron
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Thanks, Ron. It was fun to write two stories this week… very different from each other. This one has been brewing in my head for ages. I see the story continuing. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
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Dear Dawn,
Time flies by and when one leaves, it was never enough. Nice one. I didn’t have to look back to appreciate this story. It stands on its own merit.
Grammar note. “they had fallen” ..you’re missing an “en” (picky, right?)
Shalom,
Rochelle
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No, not picky at all!! I always appreciate when someone finds something I missed. Thanks so much, Rochelle! Shabbat Shalom.
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This story stands alone, and really gives us a sense of his loss – and the love he felt for his wife. Just one little thing – I think there’s a typo “fall” for “fallen” as that sense is past tense.
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Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment, and I really appreciate you finding the mistake. I meant to correct it last night but I got too busy and forgot! Thanks!
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How very sad yet so beautiful-sigh!
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Thanks so much! It’s a story that I think has a ways go go… loss is sad, but love does redeem. 🙂
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True!
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Aw, beautiful! It squeezed at my heart. Great addition to the other two stories!
P.s. I completely understand not having the time to get on and read other stories and write, etc. Since I started my new job, finding time to write has been nearly impossible! Plus it’s Christmas time, and that means lots of visiting and preparation. Hope you are well! 🙂
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PS) The main issue was that I was away for 5 days, and my computer broke and had to go in for repairs. I try really hard to read the FF posts and comment, because I really do support our efforts as writers! I appreciate your support, Tiffany, and all the encouragement from the other FF writers. Thanks, Tiffany!
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Ah, that’s too bad, but completely understandable! You’re very welcome! I think the FF writers are a great group.
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What’s daring about it? I’m new to this FF game and I’m trying to visit each one too – this story is very poignant. BTW – love the tomatoes!
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Welcome to FF, Liz! I’ll be sure to check out your story. Visiting all of them takes some time, and isn’t always possible, but I try! Rochelle reads each one and comments, every week; she’s a saint!
I’m confused about the daring reference? What are you referring to? I’m glad you enjoyed my story, or found it poignant… and I love the tomatoes too! A friend took the photo. 😉 Thanks for stopping by to read and comment; much appreciated.
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Such a great tale… the end.. but still more to expect in a way.
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Thanks Bjrn! I think there is more; this story is not done yet. 😉 I did two stories this week. I posted the wrong link to the 2nd one, so just re-posted it. The 2nd story is MUCH darker, a bit of a change for me. Thanks for taking the time; much appreciated.
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A touching story.
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Thanks so much! Your time and feedback is appreciated.
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Thanks! I appreciate that.
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Very touching tale, described so nicely
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Thanks Pirate. I appreciate your feedback.
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Not as strong as the first two in this “series,” which were more unexpected. This one had no surprise, it took me exactly where I expected it to from the first line, whereas the previous two did not. I wanted to comment on the title – I find your use of “the trail of tears” to be offensive, as those words refer to an extremely real, extremely brutal event in native history and I do not think its appropriate to use it out of that context – the same way I think it would be inappropriate to use any other example of genocide or racially-motivated murder to refer to something different. A woman dying in a bike accident might be sad, but the title makes a comparison between that death, and the death of thousands of native people who were part of an ethnic cleansing.
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Well, Jane, sounds like you disliked just about everything about this! I try hard to be positive in my feedback with other FF writers, so this was a little hard to read… That said, I do appreciate your honesty. My intention was not to provide a surprise or compare with the previous two posts. It’s a continuation, simple as that. I felt it was time the husband was shown.
I am well aware of the Trail of Tears, and in no way meant to offend or disrespect that history. I’ve been involved in First Nation issues for many years, and did not think this title would offend. The First Nation members I know, would not have taken offense; I believe. Just as I did not take “Soup Natzi” personally, as a Jew. Yet the term Natzi is thrown around in our culture all the time, despite the murder of 8 million people, by the Natzis.
The photo shows boots, and a indigenous man in the background. I felt that loss: spiritual, and real were connected to the empty boots. Henry’s trail is different, obviously, in so many ways, from that of the historic one. Henry’s pain is deep and carries its own meaning and scars; it was not meant to be compared to other losses. His trail of tears is his own. I’m sorry this post disappointed you, and offended you. It certainly wasn’t my intention, but then I write for no particular audience, and it’s bound to affect various readers in different ways. Thanks for taking the time to read, and for sharing your thoughts honestly.
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A lovely sentimental tale.
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Thanks Dawn. I’m glad this one worked better for you. 😉 If you read the comments, that wasn’t true for all on the other one… this continuing story has some staying power, I think. Thanks for taking the time!
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