Warning: There are several statements in this post that may ruffle some feathers. I could say that I’m joking, but that would be cop-out. I am being playful, provocative, and definitely sarcastic, in many places, but I own the fact that some may take offense to some of the views I have passive-aggressively expressed here. And that, that right there <–, the cross out, there’s a lot of it here. Ok, some of you find it childish. I’ve read some big time bloggers who mock that use of cross outs and other trendy gimmicks. I’m not big time, so I still rely on this stuff. Bite me. Smart Guy hates it, he lets me know, every time he reads one of my blogs that has cross outs. He’d hate this post. I understand why it can be very annoying, So don’t read this if you’re going to get all ruffled and annoyed. It’s meant to be ironic, sarcastic, and even a little thought-provoking. It’s mostly about me, but may apply to others as well. It’s up to you how you choose to view the thoughts I share here. You’re all adults I assume. You’ve been warned; carry on at your own risk.
As I was saying…
Hi, My name is ______. No, I didn’t leave the name blank as a cop-out; I can own this statement. My name is Tales From the Motherland, and I’m addicted to Facebook. What? Not good enough? Hiding behind my blog persona? Ok. Hi, My name is Dawn, and I’m addicted to I really, really like Facebook. Most of the time. Not every day. But a lot of days. Well, maybe most days. I left the name blank to be inclusive; I just thought I might not be the only one. I think there are a lot of us out there. You know who you are; you know I’m right.
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Facebook is everywhere! Your kids are using it, your friends, relatives, even your grandparents are probably using it. It’s practically an epidemic… An epidemic with everyone but the population it was actually created for: teens. Teens? Well, in case this is news to you, they’re abandoning the Facebook-ship like rats. Or, if they’re still on there, they’re not using the names you think they’re using. Parents, be clear on this: your kids did not actually accept you as a friend, unless they’re 10-13 (and that 2nd number’s a stretch). Any kid older than that either has a second account, where the real stuff is going down, and you (parents) are not friends, or, they’ve moved on to other more interesting ventures. I could tell you that a lot of teens have told me this, but I cant’ give names so you might doubt my research. You could read this, this, this, or this, instead. These are four articles by respectable sources; there are dozens more, if you’re so inclined to do some research of your own. The fact remains, Facebook is losing ground with younger junkies and gaining ground with older ones.
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Make no mistake, despite falling numbers, Facebook is still the drug of choice for most teens here in the US and abroad, as well as a gateway drug for me many adults and young people, all over. Folks start with Facebook and soon are experimenting with Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, Tumblr, Google+, Pinterest, etc… There’s something new on the street web every day. I admit to trying Twitter… more than once, maybe… Ok, I use it regularly now, too. Keeping track of my word count is a bit challenging, but the whole “favorite” option, the sense of a collective “trending” and the quick pace action feeds my need for speed. Nonetheless, despite changes, Facebook is not only the most popular drug for non-teens, like myself, but is the fastest growing drug for middle-aged women, in particular. Mommy’s little helper.
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We Many rely on it daily for: updates on friends and people we hardly know, friends of friends, or even people we don’t really like but are curious about family. We post to show-off share photos of our beautiful, talented, better than your kids, our social get togethers that others weren’t invited to, share delicious things we’ve made that you can’t make as well, and tell everyone how wonderful our more thoughtful than your husband and extra special kids are, and how grateful we are to have them in our lives. We passive-aggressivly gloat express enthusiasm for accomplishments that we or our loved ones have made, and love to share how wonderful they are, while simultaneously “creeping” enjoying and comparing photos and updates on all of said friend’s and people we hardly know or don’t even like’s and family’s walls.
Facebook is an awesome place to harass people offer to play games like Candy Crush, Bejewled Blitz, Farmville, etc that can make you crazy be shared and enjoyed together; or share a barrage of statements and photos and articles about your latest diet and work out efforts and why your way is better than how others are doing it, and encourage others. You can share articles you just read or videos of annoying funny comedians and talk show hosts you like whose politics push other people’s buttons. It’s a great place to toot your own horn and drive people crazy share your blog and the things you aspire to, and demand cajole guilt ask others to support you. You can force others to ignore share your favorite songs and videos or show people things that make them cry, or feel guilty or want to cringe inspire others. There are so many blatantly annoying meaningful messages to spam share with friend and family, that also bring them wishes come true and good luck if they in turn spam share this crap these inspirational tidings with 10 others.
Whatever Facebook is, it is not the real world; yet, more and more, it’s the world many live in. I have not come across a “status” that says: “My husband/wife was a big, fat jerk today.” Or, “My kids are lazy and leave their laundry/ dirty dishes/ shoes/ filthy socks/ insert countless other items, all over the house.” You don’t generally see: “My marriage really isn’t good;” or “Wow, my husband/wife has really gained weight;” or “I don’t find my partner as attractive as I once did, the sparkle’s really faded.” It’s rare to hear: “My spouse/ child/ sister/ brother/ lover/ friend, etc really hurt my feelings today.” The few statuses I have read that say things like: “I’m lonely/ I feel awkward/ I don’t like how I look/ My marriage is failing/ My kids are a disappointment…,” and I have seen a few, are generally met with awkward responses, polite encouragement, or very little at all. I often feel guilty if I don’t share or post something because someone else says that they “know some of you (read me) will post this, and some of you will not,” in response to a statement about mental health, death of loved ones, loneliness, loving (or missing) your daughter/ sister/ mother/son/ father… etc., as if responding or not responding, posting/sharing or not, determines whether you really care. I feel drawn into Liking things that really are none of my business, but they’re posted for all of us to see, and I do the very same thing to others. I’ve run into folks while out and about, who chat with me on Facebook all the time, “like” things I post, and send me messages fairly often, but then act like we’re strangers face to face. What is that? The real world?
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Still, I admit it; I am on Facebook every day– unless I’m not traveling and away from all internet access. It’s a blessing and a curse; I love it and hate it. I alternately love my interactions with others and annoy myself with my own bullshit on there. Do you really want to see my “song of the day?” Why did I even think it was a good idea? Who knows; but I’ll post another song tomorrow. Do you really want to know each time I post a blog? Or are you being polite? Do you care what I made for dinner, or if we did something cool over the weekend? Wouldn’t you, too, rather get a real birthday card from many of your friends and FAMILY, on your birthday! Now even family members think it’s ok to just type in a quick greeting on your birthday, or when you’ve lost someone you love, or you’re sick… Phone calls, cards, or God forbid: letters, are obsolete. Personally, I still believe in thank you notes, real holiday and birthday cards. I believe in phone calls when people I care about are going through a tough time. But Facebook makes it so easy to just type a public or, the far more personal “private” message to say what you might have expressed very differently, just a few years ago. Facebook makes it easy to be a person I don’t always like, someone who can be a little over-sensitive, arrogant, thoughtless, hurtful, and annoying, even if my intentions are generally good.
Then there’s the flip side of this coin: there’s a lot of good that’s come from Facebook, as well. Facebook brings people I love and who live far way, into my home daily. I can see that my girl is going climbing, or reading her poetry at a cafe in Jerusalem; that she’s traveling, but is safe. I can share photos with my relatives back east, and they can share things with me. My nieces and nephews can send me messages and we can stay in touch, easily and in terms that work for them. Many of them are in middle school or high school; I am certain we would not be in touch otherwise. I hear from friends who live far away, many overseas, and who I might not hear from if we all had to find the time to write letters or figure out time zones and call. It means that I got a bazillion wonderful happy birthday greetings from people I care about, who would not have otherwise been in touch.
When I was in the hospital recently, people lifted my spirits and helped me feel a lot less scared and alone. While I wouldn’t post here the messages that were on my FB wall, I couldn’t possibly express in words what all those greetings meant to me, at the time. Facebook brought all that love into my hospital room, and I believe it helped me physically and emotionally. Friends played Lexulous/scrabble on-line with me (yet another addiction); they sent caring messages; they were there for me, and I was moved. Of course, close family and my closer friends called and came by, as well, but it was all those Facebook messages that buoyed me through a very hard time. My daughter could see me on Skype and know I was not well, but was still making jokes, and thus would live. Facebook helped us manage all those good intentions, so Smart Guy could avoid dozens of phone calls and explanations, and I could rest and “chat” (read on-line, not actually talking) when I was able.
socialmedia.com.au
Facebook has re-introduced me to old friends who, frankly, I would probably not know if it weren’t for this online opportunity to connect– friends who live far away, or who have busy or very different lives. When my high school class had its 3oth graduation reunion in 2011, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t attend. I’d been to two before that, and had been disappointed. People tended to stick with the same groups they’d been part of 30 years ago, and I felt mostly frustrated that I’d travelled so far, awkward, and let down. For the 30th reunion, a Facebook page was set up months before the event and bit by bit we all reintroduced ourselves, shared our family photos and stories, and were given an opportunity to see that many of us are not who we were then, and we learned that like each other now. We all arrived with a renewed interest in each other, and sense that we are a family of sorts. We share a history, in a special and specific time and place, that no longer exists. Our stories are similar and sacred. Instead of caring who had been a “pothead,” a “jock,” a “loser,” the “awkward kid,” the “popular kid,” the introverts we didn’t notice, or the extroverts who were everywhere… we were collectively survivors of that history, and we are grown ups now. We embraced the quirky, the extroverts, introverts, the partiers, the gay men and women who are now able to say that and not feel ashamed or afraid, the divorced, the married-forevers, the bigger, grayer, the wiser looking. We danced a lot; we drank too much; we had too much fun, and we did it together– no cliques, and limited awkwardness, because we’d all re-connected and worked out many of the “bugs,” long before we met in person. We met first on Facebook. I believe that Facebook made it a true re-union. Since that grand weekend, I’ve forged much closer bonds with several of my former classmates, that I couldn’t have anticipated before. We’ve shared private messages, public jokes, life events, losses and celebrations. A few of our classmates have tragically died since that reunion three years ago, and we’ve collectively grieved, sent condolences, and reached out to friends who needed support. None of this would have happened without our connections on Facebook.
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So yes, I’m addicted. Some days, the first thing I do is check the happenings on Facebook. I “Like” too many things, in an effort to say “I care, well done, this is nice.” I see things that I wouldn’t see if I was just out and about, because I’m “friends” with lots of people who I rarely share personal time with. Our friendship exist mostly on-line, and I’ve come to understand that and accept it. Some days I feel hurt, excited, included, excluded, touched, stimulated, motivated, befuddled by things on Facebook… Some days I hate Facebook and some days I love it. But the writing’s on the wall: My name is Dawn and I’m addicted to Facebook.
What do you think about Facebook? Are you an addict fan too? Tell me what you like or dislike about Facebook; share your stories in the comment section. Check out Tales From the Motherland on Facebook and hit Like. It’s my goal to hit 400 likes there this year, and I’d love it if you support my TFTM Facebook goal. In addition, if you really do want to know each time I post, or what the song of the day is, you’ll get those on my TFTM Facebook page! If you like my posts, subscribe. I’m going for some big goals and you can help with that. I’m on Twitter. Follow me and be dazzled by my mostly lame witty and clever Tweets. If I don’t follow you back, send me a tweet reminder and I will. I often miss the cues, when new people join. I’m older, and slower that way.
© 2014 Please note, that content and images on this page are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland. If you care to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.
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TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
I closed my personal FB account down, only to reopen the personal blog-version.. and I have to say I’m much happier with this version. It’s still honest and fun– but I’m only surrounded by the people I choose. 🙂 There are worse things to be addicted to…
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Interesting. I would think it would be the other way around. I suppose, you’re less likely to have “friends” who you don’t want on the blog page, but then, they are also people you may only know in one context? Not sure how I’d handle that. I keep the two pretty separate. I have some regrets about crossing over, with bloggers on my private page… now my family, and personal stuff is more available to a wider circle… So true, there are worse things, most days. 😉 Thanks for taking the time, Rara. This is a long one! We’re both up way too late/early! I’m on the west coast; it’s nearly 2am!! Sweet dreams.
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This is a good post Dawn. It highlights for me why so many use FB on a regular basis. I am a non FB person, I have an account but I rarely use mainly because I am a private person and do not want my status or anything else broadcast to the world. But if it is your thing then go for it I have griends who use it in much the same way as me. Maybe I am a relic of the past.
But good luck to you Dawn, go FB and enjoy.
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Thanks Michael. I agree, it’s not for everyone, and even then, lots of people use FB in very different ways. I love it for the connections, but also get frustrated with FB and who I am when I use it. Thanks for sharing!
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i closed my personal fb acct. only to open a new one late 2013 just because i suddenly needed it again to keep in touch with other writers,editors,etc. facebook’s here to stay for a while.
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p.s. i enjoyed reading this post.most of these things mentioned are soooo true. the fact that even my grandma was adding me was what i liked and disliked about it. i think i exchanged fb for blogging 🙂
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FB and blogging… hmm, I’m not sure which one makes me a bigger junky! 😉 I hear you.
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I’ve heard of a number of people using it only for blogging or writing, KZ. Admittedly, I’m not that strong. I get the shakes just thinking about closing my account, but then… some days it’s very tempting! Love connecting with you outside of Friday Fictioneers… thanks for taking the time to read and share; much appreciated!
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I use a lot of social media including Facebook and Twitter (have liked/followed you ;).) Facebook is great for keeping in touch with those I would otherwise not be in contact with but I find I enjoy it less as time goes by. I suspect it is losing it’s appeal for a lot of people. I set up a separate page for my blog posts so that only those who were interested had those links popping up on their timeline. I have few followers on any medium and sometimes catch myself playing a numbers game – how many friends / followers I have compared to others. When I notice those negative thoughts creeping in I try to come off line for a while, but so far I have always gone back. I suspect these things are addictive, which I do not consider to be a good thing. I will keep using them so long as the positives outweigh the negatives.
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Welcome Zeudytigre! I appreciate you following my work; it means a lot! I too have considered only putting my blog posts on my blog FB page, but then there is greater reach when I use both my personal page and the blog FB. It’s a hard call. I hate to bug my private family/friends/etc on my personal page, but like that some of them find the posts there and might not have if I didn’t share the link. As for comparing myself and coming up on the negative side… THAT is a very tricky thing, for sure! Again, thanks so much for reading and weighing in; your time is much appreciated. 🙂
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Nice post Dawn,Interesting especially about the teens and the double accounts, I did not know that. Yeah, there is a lot to like, and dislike about facebook. I think though with anything, this is a tool people use and sometimes when it’s new, they don’t know how they want it to work for them, so they don’t really tweak it to suit their needs. Me? I have been thinking about setting up a blog page but have not yet. For personal use, I make it work for me: I post statuses rarely, and do put blog posts out there but only 2x/month. I “like” pages to get news: my favorite magazines. health info. music info on bands I like. Stuff like that. So even though there are a lot of cat videos I don’t want to see from “friends”, It’s mostly news I want to read so therefore keep up with it often. You mentioned some sensitive times where it really helped keep you connected? I had 2 experiences there: when my father died, seeing the outpouring of concern from people I know I would never have otherwise was so great. And also when Hurricane Irene came through to VT, FB definitely kept us all up on real-time news that we needed. So a great resource. Anyway, have gone on long enough, thanks for your post!
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Love your comment, Robin, and take as much space as you need! I think sharing comments and thoughts, back and forth is part of what makes blogging so so meaningful. 😀 Seems that a lot of us feel the same way. It’s definitely dependent on the individuals and how they use their FB account. I have no doubt I get on some nerves, with my posts. All those updates and things I think are worth sharing… and then, multiplied by all the posts that my friend think are interesting… it’s a slippery slope. But then, yes, there are those positive perks and that turns my head back around. Slippery slope indeed. 😉
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I *love* this post. Yes to everything to you’ve said. I also have a 13 daughter who, in my *efforts* to keep her away from Instagram, KIK, and Ask.FM, I took her phone and ipod and told her she could have a FB page. It’s a good thing that hubby is an IT guy or else I’d be paranoid all the time – I know her goings on and now a lot of those sites are completely inaccessible. But yes, there was a major exodus of teens – they are all on Instragram taking selfies and engaging in TBH (to be honest) where your good ol friends RATE you. *bangs head*.
Beyond that, YES to everything you wrote here. I force myself to take FB hiatuses, because I realize that I can get caught up in a thread. The funny thing is: maybe 15 people out of over 2,500 on my personal page are my friends or family – most I know due to being a poet. So I get on and ruffle feathers because that’s just what I do. Which, as I’m looking at my notifications, I can guarantee someone is not happy with me. It makes for an interesting dynamic to have a facebook page where most of the people are poets. But with all the crap, I’ve reconnected with past school mates, and I’ve actually MET people who I know consider friends, on facebook. I outed my abuser on facebook and I had tremendous support (along with a few finger-waggers).
I joke and call it a hate/hate relationship. But in reality, I like having the facebook.
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Wonderful comment, CR! Seriously. I totally applauded you for outing your abuser and loved the post you did as well. I guess I’m still stuck on that number: 2,500!! Seriously? Why don’t you have a separate page for you as a poet, and a page strictly for friends and family? Don’t the two ever cross, in less than favorable ways? That’s why I prefer to keep it all separate. I recently allowed some blogging friends on, to mixed feelings. It feels a bit like showing up to school in my underwear… so exposed! There are few filters on my blog, as you may have noticed, but I also keep a lot of it private. My kids and husband prefer I don’t use their pictures too much; there are family things I don’t post; etc… so I keep the 2 FB pages separate, to keep that boundary. I can’t imagine 2,500!! I’m just trying to hit 400 likes on my TFTM/ blog FB page.
Bravo to you and your husband for being on top of all this tech stuff! Kids today are so much smarter than we think they are, and 13 year old girls are scary indeed. 😉 Thanks for taking the time to read this, and share such a thoughtful comment; much appreciated!
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Hardly noticed… and I thought all women were mind readers! 😉
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Will do!
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I like how I’ve connected with high school and college friends and love seeing pix — addicted? Maybe too strong, but I do like it and find it harmless. Funny how us older folks have caught the FB bug and younger ones are onto something else.
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No doubt in my mind, younger fans have moved on BECAUSE us “older folks” invaded their space. That said, bummer for them. 😉
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I’m not on FB but I blog and do email. I think it’s each person’s own choice what they do with the social media. I also think it’s perfectly OK to use whatever new offering is given to write with. I’m an older person (that sounds better to me than saying old) but I think it’s great to use new ways of communicating. My two kids keep me up-to-date. I have friends who don’t even do email so I write to them the old-fashioned way. I’m perfectly OK with that also. We’re all different and that makes for an interesting world. I simply don’t pay much attention to what people complain about. I complain if I feel like it and they’re free to complain if they want to. Maybe they’ve had a bad day. I only worry about what God thinks of me, not others. I figure if they don’t like what I do or say that’s their problem not mine. Happy communicating!
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Thanks so much for sharing P.S.Joshi and welcome to Tales From the Motherland! I appreciate the time you took to read and then share your thoughts. Absolutely, to each his/her own. That’s a given. Much of this post is said jokingly, as I know I have crossed all the lines I mention here. That is why FB is such a love-hate thing for me. However, like you, I’m grateful for all the great options for communicating. Thanks again for weighing in!
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Facebook and I definitely have a love/hate relationship. I like being able to share photos with friends and family back in the states and feel somewhat connected to them still. Yet, I’m annoyed by the extreme amount of “fakeness” it causes. Just like you said it seems people only share the good which makes it seem like their life is always good. We all know that’s not true, but it’s all you see. I get tired of the posts that seem as if someone is constantly bragging or the ones asking you to change your status if you’re their friend. It’s the social media version of email chain letters. But, even with hating more than I love, I can’t give it up.
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Ditto, ditto, ditto! I agree with every. word. here. I think you and I are on the very same page, muted… But that seems to happen a lot. 😉
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I have a Facebook account, Dawn, but for some reason, it just really doesn’t appeal to me. I go on there maybe once a week and usually it’s because a friend has commented about a WP post. While I’m there, I’ll scroll through and “like” a few posts, but it’s not really my thing. I’d rather have more in-depth connections here on WP. Great post, as always.
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Thanks Cathy. I do love the deeper connection amongst bloggers… in general (IN GENERAL) there is a lot less BS and we seem to get to the heart of things here. That said, I have some very meaningful and deep FB connections too. I could not give it up. As I said, addict!
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I’m not a huge fan of FB. I only have a few ‘friends’ on my personal account, mostly family. I see it as a good way to keep up with what’s happening in their lives, but I don’t spend much time there. I do most of my interaction on my public page, but even on that I only post an update twice a week or so. I don’t think people want to hear anything more from me than that. (And even that might be pushing it. 😉 )
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Hmm. It’s strange. I had hoped my public page would draw more interaction, but it just doesn’t. I keep trying to make it more engaging, or get folks to come there, but they don’t. Most connections come in the comment threads, or on my private FB account, which I’ve shared with a few bloggers. I doubt that anyone gets tired of you Carrie! Trust me. 🙂
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Bet my kids don’t feel the same… 😉
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No doubt. 😉
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I closed my personal FB account almost 2 years ago. I did open one for my writings only. It got to the point with me that I hated seeing all the fakeness going around. I had almost 5000 ‘friends’ when I closed it down. It just seemed so plastic and pointless then. With this new FB account I only have like 40 ‘friends’, mostly other writers and bloggers. I’m much more choosey who I friend in FB now. I fell in love with blogging and here is where most of my time is spent, unless I’m writing.
Very good post, makes one think. 🙂
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Thanks Jackie! I’ll check out your FB page, you check out mine? I can’t imagine 5,000 on any page!! Blows me away.I have in the mid-300s privately and that feels strange. My TFTM FB page is just over 300 Likes and few people engage in much dialogue there, as much as I’d like that. Not sure what I’m doing wrong… but agree that blogging is where my heart really lives. 🙂
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I all ready liked your FB page, but please visit mine if you haven’t yet. I need the likes. haha!
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On my way over. What name is it under??
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It’s under Jackie Phillips, there is a link on my blog. And thank you! 🙂
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I followed your Twitter, but where is your FB page? Is it in your blog’s name? I found your private one, but how about the blog one? Where do I go?
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I only have the one fb page, but it’s not private that I know of.
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That’s what’s confusing me. I can friend you there, but there’s no Like… You said you needed the likes, and I’m not sure I have the right page? I’m a little lost on these things!
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Ack, it’s my fault, sorry! I had two fb accounts, my page and my personal, so I closed dow the page as it was not getting anything, my personal was more what I wanted for my writing page (I could do more with it) so sorry for the confusion!
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Got it! Yes, I was looking for a page, etc… 😉
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I feel the same way as you – conflicted. I consider every day now whether or not it’s time to unload a bunch of friends I am no longer connected to (and probably wasn’t that close to before, anyway!). I really mainly use FB for gaming.
But I also am so thankful for the good things FB offers me, mainly the connectivity with friends who I’ve met along the way but are not far away. These people are still ones I can call at any time and we pick up right where we left off! These are the folks I want to hang on to. I also know that my friends like to see when I’m blogging (although they should just follow and get on board with e-mail updates, I know).
I admit that I consider dumping FB altogether at least twice every week, but I haven’t found a compelling reason to go that far yet. We’ll see what 2014 holds.
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I have to say, I have not considered dumping my FB page… it would cause cold sweats and nausea. 😉 I don’t imagine I’ll be going anymore, but there are indeed pros and cons, that I think will continue to be a part of the whole love-hate issue. Mostly, I love it. Thanks for weighing in JudahFirst. I love all these great thoughts!
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I’ve had a Facebook account since high school, and I go through phases of how much I use it. It is very useful for talking to my friends on the other side of the world who I wouldn’t be able to see/talk to otherwise. Sometimes I like to harass my sister while she’s away at college by spamming her wall with photos of Alan Rickman, and occasionally my boyfriend and I will message each other secretly at work. So overall I like Facebook, but I wouldn’t say I’m addicted. Now Pinterest on the other hand…that I am most definitely addicted to!
Good post!
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Hey Tiffany… I so do not get Pinterest! I’m clueless when it comes to that. I have an account; I tried it; I go nowhere! I’m with you, for the most part. I mostly love my FB relationships, but there are some moments. Many of them, are my own issues. Calling that spade a spade. 😉 Thanks for sharing your experience!
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I know several people who say the same thing about Pinterest…maybe it just works for some people! Haha. I know what you mean. Overall I think Facebook is a great tool we have to use to stay connected with those we care about and to reach new friends. You’re welcome! 🙂
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They’re all addictive, I think… I try not to fall down too many rabbit holes! 😉
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Quite so! It is hard not to! Each is a veritable Wonderland of time takers. 😉
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Fun post!!! I’m pretty much thumbs up on the Facebook thing. Mostly I see it as a way to keep up with everyone, and I like that. I also like that if there is someone whose posts annoy me, I can simply hide them, no harm done. This has been a long time coming, but I think I have finally started becoming successful in retraining my brain to not care about the little sh*t that doesn’t matter. If I see a heated debate on Facebook, I just keep scrolling. I gravitate towards the things that make me happy and things that celebrate goodness in the lives of my friends and family. I love that if I need recommendations on cars or restaurants or whatever, I can send out a quick post and get almost immediate feedback from a lot of people I trust. And mostly, I try not to take anything I post too seriously…that way I can’t really get my feelings hurt if no one responds.
And I love that you pointed out how FB helped reunite your class. I think that is one of the best things about it…you get to know people you used to know in a different light. See how they have moved on and become someone you might now have a lot in common with. I’ve had much the same experience.
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Kelly, so many golden nuggets here, and I agree with a lot of what you have to say here. I am definitely not as good as you at not letting some things not bother me. People post all kinds of things, and there are definitely some things that still get under my skin. My skin is thin though. I try not to let things hurt my feelings, but I haven’t mastered that yet. And, I know that there are times when I might hurt others… that part, I am working on.Trying not to post so much about doing things that exclude anyone. There are definitely lines that are hard to not blur. Always appreciate your feedback, Kelly!
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Ah yes…blurred lines. They’re more than just the song Miley twerked to 🙂 I would definitely NOT say I have a thick skin. But I do think that social media (and really blogging) has given me a way to deal with how to work through that from the safety of being by myself, behind a computer. There are times people post things that definitely get to me. Actually, I still FEEL reactive, and just don’t ACT reactive. At least, I try not to. Because we have all seen the hate and craziness that can play out in comment sections. And I can’t tell you how many blog posts I’ve almost completely written, but then decided to take a step away which led to me not posting them. Because I knew I was speaking from too raw of a place. I don’t think raw emotions are bad, but I do think we need to be careful about expressing them to others, especially on a platform that reaches people we don’t know and can come back to haunt us. But all in all, we’re human. We contradict ourselves all the time, we flip flop, we have the right to feel one way but then change our minds later. I try to remind myself that oftentimes people post things in haste, and I shouldn’t always hold that against them. There are plenty, PLENTY of things I’ve said and did that I would hope people wouldn’t hold against me. Because we all change. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t block people because I just couldn’t accept what they said. It happens sometimes. That’s when I take my cue to walk away, mostly for my own sanity. But this whole post, Dawn…it’s so true to human nature. It’s why I loved it. We all struggle with these things to some degree, especially those of us who choose to write hoping other read it. But not everyone is as honest about it as you. Rock on, lady.
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Thanks so much Kelly! You touch on so many good points, and things I agree with or connect with. Thanks for clarifying and sharing more thoughts… love this kind of blog comment dialogue.
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I love Facebook… mostly. I love that it helps keep me connected to friends and family that I no longer live in the same part of the country with. I don’t love lame inspirational messages or preaching – those are the people I hide. I also don’t think it’s appropriate to share with the cyber universe, things like “my husband was a tool today.” Deal with it with your husband, not with your cyber audience. Then again, I’d rather hear that your baby kept you up all night than that you didn’t sleep all night because you were “treasuring every moment” with them. I’ll see through that crap!
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Bravo! Yes, to all of that. I love FB, and while there are moments when I don’t, overall I do. My point about honesty is not that I really want to read a whole bunch of nasty, but I also can’t believe or stomach all the perfect. I like the dialogue that’s going on here… Thanks for joining in Dirtyrottenparenting. 😉
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Hey, Dawn – nice rant. I had to laugh at how the teens and younger kids are bailing out of Facebook. They found out their parents and grandparents were into Facebook, so they bolted. Of course, some people found out their employers were monitoring their accounts, and a few stories emerged about people who blew job opportunities or got in trouble for making their views public.
Personally, I like staying in touch with friends from years ago and connecting with new friends around the world as we travel. I dislike posts that try to guilt me into sharing – things like ‘Share this if you love your Mother’ or ‘If you don’t share this you will have bad luck’ or ‘Share this if you are truly my friend.’ First, my mother and I did not get along all that well. Second, I am not superstitious. And finally, I will be your friend without conditions or not at all. So yes, Facebook works for me.
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All these good points, in this comment thread, really are thought provoking. I totally agree that keeping in touch with long distance friends and family, is one of the best perks of FB. I love the sharing of photos and stories, and keeping the ties close. For you, I can see why it would be particularly helpful! Sounds like we’re mostly on the same page. Not surprising! 😉
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Love it… AND I managed to steal myself away from Facebook to read/comment 😉
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Bahahah! I hear you. I haven’t had a chance to check FB all day, answering comments! 😉
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Pingback: Hi, My Name is ___________, and I’m Addicted… To Facebook
My husband always says that Facebook is basically a really poorly-curated multi-author blog. I tend to agree with him. If it weren’t for the fact that our family lives all over and the best way to share pics of the baby is through Facebook, I would kick it. (That’s a lie. I’d find some stupid reason to get sucked back in.)
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We can share needles. 😉 And your husband has a really interesting point!
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I’m addicted and i don’t care!
I’ve also written about facebook a few times.
In case you’re interested
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Thanks Dawn. I will check your post out. I’m addicted too… but it depends on the day, as to whether I care or not! 😉 Thanks for stopping by!
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Excellent points…I will quit Facebook after I update my page – say goodbye and have people telling me not to leave…and also, I NEED to post 3 more pictures of my breakfast + a duck face selfie 😀 Thank you for sharing your creative writing 🙂
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Hahahaha! So true! Like any drug, it pulls you back. 😉 Thanks so much for visiting Tales From the Motherland. Hope you’ll check out some other posts and share your wonderful sense of humor! By the way, I make THE worst duck faces… and I suck at selfies too! 🙂
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Thank you. I surely will as I am following your blog and will get your posts in the newsfeed 🙂 Looked at your page on facebook too … Lots to read. Thank you for sharing 🙂
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