A pretty picture I took, to soften the blow of the word “hate.”
First, let me explain the title… I can easily come up with 21 things that I irrationally (if you say so) hate, but the idea for this post comes from Ericka Clay’s post, which she stole from me, before I could think of it. She did it first, but it was just so great, I had to do my own list. These are 21 Things I Irrationally Hate:
- Bloggers who come up with ideas for posts that I totally wish I had thought of myself. This is specifically directed at Ericka Clay, at Tipsy Lit, for coming up with this particular blog post, before I could think of it myself… Which, for the record, I eventually would have. (It should be noted that Ericka’s post is titled, “Twenty-one Things I Irrationally Hate, while mine is “21 Things…” See, it’s different. I thought of using the number… not spelled out. Not the same.)
- That my husband can’t in fact read my mind. If he could, we could avoid so many arguments, because he would know that I’m thinking: … And don’t argue with me.
- When someone in my house, generally a teenager, or someone much younger than me, eats the last of something that I didn’t say I wanted (particularly left-overs that I cooked!)… but I did… really want. This could also be filed under: people who can’t read my mind.
- Raisins, especially cooked in anything. (And once you’ve picked on out of your kid’s diaper… well, you can never eat one again!)
- When anyone at the grocery store, anyone, calls me “Mam.” It’s bad enough that I have to do the grocery shopping in the first place, without also being reminded that I’m a Mam now.
- Sauerkraut.
- Scales that don’t say what I want.
- That eating chocolate chip cookies/bacon/nutty bits/milkshakes/Cheez Its/ Doritos/most of my favorite foods, don’t melt fat. Who thought of that bullshit science anyway? Thank God, sushi does… melt fat.
- That working out and not eating does in fact burn fat. Again, science. Really?
- That I’m 51 and I didn’t start doing what I really want to be doing: writing, thirty years ago. For real.
- Editors and Agents that seem to think it’s reasonable for me to wait 6 to 9 months, to know if they like my manuscript. Don’t they know that I’m 51 and wish I’d done this thirty years ago? (Even if I couldn’t have written this particular novel 30 years ago.)
- That other writers keep telling me that I do indeed have to wait this long to hear from editors and agents, and that: “that’s just the way it is.” Bite me, agents, editors and other writers.
- Most teenage girls.
- Teenage boys who say “dude” to everyone. Really? Dude?
- Other bloggers who get their novels published, while I wait to hear from editors and agents… Hmm, Ericka Clay just got her novel published. And well, it does look really good, but… Other bloggers who get their novels published.
- That bladder control issues, wrinkles, acne, weight gain, and a host of other insults, all come at an age when you are already freaking out, just thinking: What the fuck! I only have twenty (reasonably good) years left? And I haven’t heard from that agent or editor yet!
- Stores who post a “We card anyone under 40,” sign, and then card me. Do we really need to make that point, Mam?
- People who are always on time. So, I’m a little late sometimes. It starts innocently: I have some extra time, and then some friends from high school, who I wasn’t necessarily friends with in high school, have posted some things on Facebook that I really need to read? And like, and comment on. And then there was a photo on the sidebar of Facebook that I had to see: of a snake eating a crocodile (never mind that snakes give me the willies, and these photos totally freaked me out)… Which led to a photo of an otter (!!) eating an alligator… Which got me wondering when crocodiles and alligators became such losers… Which got me wondering what Liza Minnelli had to say about Ellen DeGeneres’ Oscar joke… which made me wonder which award-winning movies I should add to Netflix (because yes, I still use Netflix)… which got me checking out other movies, and realizing I’ll never get to see the 3,452 movies on my Netflix list… Why the hell doesn’t the rest of the world realize that shit happens, and I might be late?
- When people put the chips on the cereal shelf, or the measuring cups in the Ziplock- bag drawer, and then when I
complainexplain why I don’t like that, ask me why I care, when my office is a hoarder’s den… like chips have anything to do with my office? - Yellow bananas. Make mine a semi-green one, every time.
- Whistling. Unless it’s in this song. Or this one.
- People who complain.
Yeah; that’s twenty-two. I had more than 21, and I didn’t want to erase any of them. I also hate limits. Now, share yours. What do you hate? You can make your own list… but be a good egg, and link back to my post, and Ericka’s. And Note: I think I have more than made up for borrowing Ericka’s idea, by linking to her a bazillion times here!
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TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
I don’t think I hate anything – well maybe dog poop on the sidewalk. However, I love laughing at stuff you hate. No, wait. I hate screaming children in restaurants and on airplanes. And I hate cruelty of any kind. Hmm – I guess I do hate some stuff. I just hate thinking about it. – Mike
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Well, technically, none of your hates are “irrational,” it seems to me… so I think your halo remains. 😉 The dog poop, well, that is just unconscionable! And all the rest, I agree with… see, I think I hate a lot more things than you! Have a bueno weekend, amigo!
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6. Sauerkraut.
Say it isn’t so!! That is just so terribly wrong. Who could not like sauerkraut! But if you were talking about asparagus, I’d be right there with ya.
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Welcome Almost Iowa! Hmm, I see your point, but: I HATE sauerkraut! The spelling of it is interesting, but can’t eat it… or smell it. I have a very good friend who also finds this appalling. I do, however, LOVE asparagus! Alas… thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment; I love that. 😉
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I hear you about all those foods not burning fat. and the old age stuff. I could add a few .. or might steal the idea…
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Steal away! I think this might have a life of its own… but please, um, link back. 😉 (hence my title and links!)
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Pingback: 21 things… « neverimitate
I irrationally hate it that the title of this post explicitly says 21 things, NOT 22! Geez, Woman! 😀
Great list though.
And liver. I fucking HATE liver. Except when I use it for catfish bait.
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I HATE liver too… except chopped liver, and liverwurst… hmm, maybe hate is a strong word? I know, I did play with the numbers a bit. 😉
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Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
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I started making metal notes of numbers I wanted to call out and be like, “Hell yeah!” But then I realized I was pretty much making a mental list of ALL of them. This was FRICKIN’ HILARIOUS!!!!!! I thought maybe I would do one of these too, but yours is already too amazing. GOD, I HATE THAT! 🙂
And by the way, YAY! I’m finally here!
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YAY! You ARE finally here!! I will do a happy dance… for real. (just did it). I love the idea of others doing this list. It was of course Ericka’s brilliant idea (that I would have had). Glad you made it over, Kelly. I have, for real, missed you. xo 😀
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Hilarious, Dawn. I HATE being called Mam, and even worse, it’s been going on for some time now! And whistling. Unfortunately, my beloved Peter likes to whistle as he’s generally a happy person and likes to express his general state of contentment by whistling whatever tune in running around in his head. Further, we have beautiful vaulted ceilings in our home which amplify the shrill whistling and then I get all “stop whistling!” on him which makes me feel like the bitch of the universe. So, I hate that!
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My Little Man whistles too, and one of my best friends… she does this semi-whistle that is a hissing-whistle, through her teeth, ARRGH! However, I do like whistling in those two songs. Especially the 2nd song. Thanks for playing along, Cathy!
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You big silly!
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Big silly fun! 😉
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I totally agree with#4, but I like sauerkraut on hot dogs(with mustard, not Ketchup)
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Mustard, Of course! But never sauerkraut, for me! I knew you would agree with #4. We share that one. 😉 xox
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I hate plenty of the same things as you, but eat a green banana over a yellow one? Never! 😉
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Oh no! A very yellow banana really undoes me. Now, today… bananas ripen way too quickly, so maybe we agree on that too. 😉
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And now I want a banana.
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And now I want a mocha milkshake.
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OMG, Dawn. Raisins are my sworn enemy too. I hate them with the fury of a thousand suns. There is absolutely nothing good about them. They are just useless raisins.
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An, well, once you pick some out of a diaper… sorry, but I know YOU know what I’m talking about… you can never eat one again! 😉
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Have you read my post about it????
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Yes, in fact I have (hence the capital letters)… a while ago, but I loved it. I do in fact read all of your posts.
😉 Regardless of any post, raisins in your kids poop will turn you off of them FOREVER.
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Do you and Girl in the Cat Frame Glasses argue about sauerkraut at the TipsyLit Global Headquarters in an Anonymous Tropical Island Volcano Wherein You Plot To Take Over The World?
Because she emphatically averred that she loves the stuff.
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Who told you about the taking over the world thing? We have a snitch!!
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Clearly an inside job! We need to find this person and throw them in the volcano!
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Well, this is MY list and I despise Sauerkraut. Those girls with glasses… never fails.
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I would hate number one, too…IF I WEREN’T ME! Hehehe! 🙂
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Damn you! I hate that you are you and I’m not. 😉
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I am so totally making a post like this…I love it! I loved numbers 4, 6, 8 and 20…we have similar tastes, I think. Especially about the bananas! Everyone always thinks I’m weird…but the green ones are so much better!
Great post.
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Green banana girls unite! We need to rid all fruit bowls of those yellow ones… let alone the ones with spots!
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Heck yes!
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So hilarious Dawn! I’m late to the game in reading this. I’m so behind and I HATE THAT. 🙂 But I do love me some greenish bananas. 🙂
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It’s the time delay in Germany, right? 😉 I’m glad you made it over; better late than never! As for green bananas.. seriously! I’ve had a CRAZY week. Trying to read the Fictioneers and check out the Tipsy Lit Prompt entries. No question who will win, but lots of entries this week!
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I haven’t even seen the tipsy lit site this week! I wasn’t feeling the best and it really set me back. Now I’m playing catch up!
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Ahh! So sorry to hear that! Hope you’re feeling much better now, Deanna. xo
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I’m so glad you joined my little link-up!!!! But, you made it extremely hard for everyone else. I loved this post. 😉
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Thanks Deanna… but I’m a good looser (well… mostly!), so no worries. 😀
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This is such a fun post, Dawn. You make me laugh too much to think about my irrational hates.
I’ve just nominated you for a ‘Field of Flowers’ Award. I hope you’ll accept. Check out the details at http://karenwhitelaw.com
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Karen, thank you so much! You are so kind. I am honored that you thought of me; and I’ll thank you on my FF post tomorrow. Thanks!
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You’re welcome, Dawn.
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