Each week, Rochelle herds this merry group of Kool Kats, with a weekly photo prompt and a reminder to: play nice, be respectful, and do your best work. Flash fiction at its best! Write a 100-word story with a beginning, middle and end. This week’s photo is provided by Mary Shipman. This week, my story came easily but is a new direction for me. Check out the other stories and find more details on Addicted to Purple. Then, join us! I always welcome honest, kind, or constructive feedback; please leave a comment.
©Mary Shipman
(100 words)
The Dream House
Jody and Michael had planned to renovate Michael’s childhood home from the time they married. When his mother died she left the home to her only child.
“This house is perfect for us to raise a family in,” Jody gushed. “There’s so much space! I don’t understand why your parents didn’t have more kids.”
Walking through the halls Michael grew serious. “Mom never seemed happy; I’m not sure she really wanted kids.”
When the contractor called, his voice was ice water.
“Mike, the police are here. Demo’ing the walls we found several blankets…”
“Wha–
“Babies– three tiny skeletons, so far.”
* * *
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Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
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Thank you so much for sharing my work. It’s much appreciated.
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Wow, when she said she didn’t want any kids she really meant it. Michael’s been very lucky. Nice take on the prompt Dawn.
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Thanks Sandra. Thriller/ horror is not my usual genre, but when I saw that torn up wall, that’s what came to mind immediately. I’m glad you enjoyed it… you’re the master of this kind of story.
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Loved this! What a dark twist. Great job 🙂
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Dawn, welcome to Tales From the Motherland! Thanks for stopping by, and for taking the time to read and comment; it’s much appreciated! I’m glad you liked this story; it’s a new direction for me, and was fu to write. Hope you’ll stop by again, and share your thoughts.
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What a great story! Captured my interest and makes me want more. So, Dawn, do you ever take any of these and write more?!
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Thanks Heidi! I’m so glad you liked this one. I have in fact continued some of these short stories, but I haven’t really done any of them justice. One of the things I love about FF, is writing a 100 word story and then moving on. This one came to me instantly, and was fun to write; I’m so glad you liked it. Thanks for taking the time. xo
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I am perhaps glad I didn’t read this before our first date… but now that you’ve seduced me, I can embrace the dark side! This was gorgeously creepy, and I’m having trouble understanding how that was possible in 100 words.
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Well, this was my first foray into horror, or creepy, but when I saw that picture, it was over and done with in fifteen minutes. Didn’t give it much thought. Just the same, I’m glad you were already seduced. I think you understand now, that there are many stories for me to tell. 😉
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Wow, this one’s intense. Wonderful job!
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Thanks Carrie. Maybe I’ll have to write more creepy tales. 😉 Hope you’re enjoying your summer vacation!
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I am indeed. 🙂
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Really good story. I didn’t see it coming, but I wonder if you need those last two lines, by ending on blanket, we would still know what was going on. Just an idea, still a lovely (horrific) story.
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Thanks Claire. I wondered the same thing. I like to leave things to the imagination, but wasn’t sure if it worked as well without those last lines. I’ll think about it… Thanks for taking the time.
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Well that’s a game changer, isn’t it? Who could raise a family there after that? Terrific!
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No kidding! Creepy old wallpaper does that to me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Honie.
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Nice, I enjoy a dark story. Guess Jody and Michael will be going house hunting.
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Thanks Melody, and welcome to Tales From the Motherland. I can’t imagine they’ll want to stay. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. I hope you’ll visit again.
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Ouch.. I recommend exhumation of the old hag….
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Not sure that would solve anything… clearly she’s better off dead now. Thanks for taking the time, Björn.
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I don’t think Jody and Michael are going to want to live there- That’s some bad mojo hanging around. I can’t imagine the mix of feelings Michael must feel after learning these dark secrets. Awesomely chilling story!
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Thanks so much. I can’t imagine having this happen… No, I wouldn’t want to live there!
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I feel really shocked! Well done.
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Thanks! I suppose shock is pretty much what I was going for… so I’m glad I hit the mark. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment; it’s much appreciated!
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I loved that I was actually thinking I could go both ways with this, very bad or very sad. Were the deaths intentional or perhaps not. 🙂
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Exactly. I was thinking creepier, but I imagined the story both ways. I’m glad you were able to see it both ways too! A fun piece to write. 😀
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Dawn,
Eek. You gave me the heevy jeevys, which means you put it together very well.
For my two cents, I like the story the way it is. I think it is more effective with the last lines.
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Thanks Gina. I could see it both ways, but I think I’ll leave it with the two final lines for now. I’m really happy that all of the readers so far, got the creepy edge I intended, regardless of the ending. 😉 Thanks for taking the time!
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My pleasure. 🙂
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Not your usual, but well done as usual, Dawn.
janet
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Thanks Janet. I’m glad you liked it. dawn
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Well done.
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Thanks Audra!
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Dear Dawn,
It’s always nice to step outside our boxes, isn’t it? I kind of had a feeling of where the story was headed when Michael said his mother didn’t want children. This is not to say that your story isn’t a good one for it most certainly is. 😀
Guests coming tomorrow and Friday. I won’t be around much so I’m glad you posted early.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I don’t know how you do it, Rochelle! You’re so generous with your time and energy, making an effort for each of us, every week. Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed this, even if you did see it coming. 😉 I can’t slip one over on you! Thanks for your kind words, and the energy you share with all of us, Rochelle. Enjoy your guests! Shalom, Dawn
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Oh my, what a story! I really liked it.
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wow! That’s got to be the start of a bigger story…
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Dawn, Good story and a different genre for you as you said. That photo prompt had a rather dark look about it. I wrote about a ghost, Rochelle had written about a body in the wall, Sandra wrote about a creeppy kidnapper, etc. You should definitely write more stories in the horror genre. Well done as always. 🙂 —Susan
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The family tree grows!
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Woa! Good one, Dawn!
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Horrifyingly awesome. I literally gasped. That little diddy will be spinning in my brain all day as my brain attempts to write the novel. Thank goodness it’s morning and not bedtime or my brain might be making the blockbuster movie in nightmare form. Well played.
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Reblogged this on parvinbanu77's Blog and commented:
restore
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Thanks Jen! What a great complement! I’m thinking however, that if millions are to be made on the Blockbuster book and movie, we must collaborate. 😎
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Oh, this one is very dark for you! And you did it so well!!!
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Thanks Jan! I was a little hesitant to try the genre– not sure if I could keep up with all the good, dark story tellers on FF. I’m really glad you liked it.
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Reminds me of the woman now on trial for burying her babies in the back yard and I wonder – HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF BIRTH CONTROL?” I know the question raises many ethical and religious questions, but so does murder. Nice work stepping over on the creepy side.
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Thanks Alicia… my thoughts exactly! I really have a hard time understanding how things get to this point, aside from insanity. I’m glad you enjoyed my foray into the dark.
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OMG. Not expected…at least not to that degree. Thankfully, I’ve not heard anything similar in the real world. Yet… Well told.
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You must not be watching the news, mama! Sadly, this story seems to happen more than I like to think.
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Now that was really horrific, Dawn. Well done. The story has me dreaming on about the aftermath. How does Mike feel about his lucky escape and the death of his siblings? How does he cope with this new view of his mother? What will Jody do now? You’ve achieved the perfect ending which goes on even after the story has finished. Congratulations!
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I wasn’t sure if she murdered the babies or they were stillborn. Both would explain her being a bit moody. A gruesome find nonetheless.
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I felt like that detail could be left to my readers… I envisioned that she killed them. Either way, the house just became a tear down. 😉
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I bet that knocked the wind out of Jody’s sails. To say “Mom’s a little moody” is an understatement.
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Seriously. Something tells me they will be house hunting. 😉
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Dear Dawn, Fantastic, scary tale. You did a wonderful job with this prompt! Wow, you are a master at all kinds of fiction. I’m so impressed! Have a wonderful week, I certainly do enjoy your talent! Thanks, Nan 🙂
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Nan, what a sweet heart you always are! You give me too much credit, but it’s nice to get. Thanks so much!
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Oh golly – that’s horrible! Well written and it took me by surprise.
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Thanks Liz. I’m really glad you liked it. Thanks for taking the time.
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It made me wonder about the mother, and what a sad or disturbed life she must have led. Well written 🙂
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Thanks Siobhan. The mother was key in my thoughts… I’d like to write THAT story. Her son and his wife not so much. 😉
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Ah, so sad. This sort of thing happens too often, doesn’t it. Poor mum.
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Thanks Patrick. Yes, sad, or sinister… that determines whether your feel bad for mum, or angry with her, I suppose. Thanks for stopping by!
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Three tiny skeletons. That’s quite a visual, Dawn. Great story for the prompt. I can’t imagine they would want to live there now.
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No kidding. I think all that old wallpaper just took us all down a similarly creepy path. 😉
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I second that. Creepy and disturbed and sad. 🙂
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Your imagination is a wonderful gift, always full of surprises. I can imagine you wishing you could watch your readers facial expressions as they took the final twist in your tale. It was a clever surprise, to say the least. – Mike
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Clever but twisted, right? Thanks Mike. 🙂
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