This week’s photo stumped me. I had a story idea right away– a couple of ideas, but none of them felt just right. I went for playful, period influenced, noir’ish. Not my usual approach, but it’s where the words took me. As always, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome.
Friday Fictioneers is brought to you each week by the indomitable Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Use the photo prompt, provided this week by Jean L. Hays, to inspire a 100-word story, with a beginning, middle and end. You can find more information and the other stories, on Rochelle’s blog, Addicted to Purple.
Guys and Dolls (95 words)
“Why you lookin’ so glum, doll? I thought we was celebratin’.”
“It seems like you don’t really notice me Joey.”
“What’ya talking about baby? You’re a knock out. I love that red get up.”
“See, that’s what I mean; you don’t notice me, just what I’m wearin’. ”
“What’s wrong with that. You’re a looker, shouldn’t I look… What else is there?”
“You don’t get it; you just plow along. We could talk ya’ know– ask me what I want to do or what I’m thinkin’ about.”
“Uh, yeah… ok, whered’ya get that red number?”
* * *
Make me smile; and HELP ME REACH MY GOAL: I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I’m forced to be brief. Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Honest, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam. If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there. © 2014 Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.
That put a smile on my face (: True testimony to quite a few characteristic guys of those period – for a moment there I thought you had taken this photo from your trip !
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Thanks Ducky! I’m glad it make you smile, and it’s great to see your wonderful face again. Not a photo of mine… you wouldn’t see this in Fiji! 😉 I have a bunch of your posts saved, for when I finally catch up on all the reading I’ve missed recently. Glad you’re back.
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Haha thank yous ! You as well (: Seems like everything is going swell with the trip and your daughter too (Y) And omygoodness that took me a moment to process.. I didn’t even know you could save posts here :O Don’t I feel special haha I just scroll down like a madman as much as I can. Glad to be back !
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I just keep them in my mail folder (I have one just for blogs) and there they sit, until I can do them justice. 😉 )… things are indeed good, overall.
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Whadda’ joik! Well done, Doll. Glad to see you back.
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Thanks a billion, baby! Gud to be back. wink wink nod nod
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Funny photo – fun ‘Guys and Dolls’ retro story. An Edsel with a back hoe and a scoop is just too strange to figure for a story, so you let some of your quirky side out. I love your many-faceted take on the world. That’s a fine quality for a writer! – Mike
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Thanks Mike. I love that you called me a writer. Still sticks in my own mouth some times, but sounds sweet coming from yours. Thanks! d
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Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Guys and Dolls | ugiridharaprasad
Oh, love it, Dawn. It has the perfect pitch! Well done.
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Thanks Amy, it was a shot in the dark! I’m glad it landed okay. Thanks for taking the time; it’s much appreciated.
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Great dialogue. I could almost hear the two of them singing “you can bet that he’s vroooming it for some doll!” He’s a classic Damon Runyon car, that Joey!
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Thanks Perry. It was a stretch for me… glad it worked out ok. 😉
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Dawn, I agree that it was great dialogue. Joey isn’t much of a smooth talker is he. He must be considered quite a looker. Cute story and well written. Welcome back. I enjoyed the blogs on your Fiji vacation. 🙂 — Susan
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Thanks Susan. I’m so glad you stopped by for the Fiji stories, and for my FF… I’m not so sure Joey’s a looker either. There’s no explaining attraction. 😉 d
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Dear Dawn, Great dialogue and funny! Good job with the prompt. Nan 🙂
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Thanks Nan. It was a fun one to write. 🙂
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Very funny! Great dialogue. I’m imaging the two of them “parking”, her all disgruntled and questioning their “relationship”, him all eager…
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I love that each of us writes a story, and we as readers fill in the blanks… it’s what FF is all about. For me, the two were in a restaurant, and he was very blasé, she was indeed disgruntled. Now, I can imagine it your way as well. Nice!
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Dear Dawn,
Welcome back. Were you ever tempted to stay in Fiji for a longer interlude? The tropics can do that to a person.
I liked your story and thing she had better encourage Joey to dig a hole and bury himself in it because he’s a dinosaur on his way to becoming a fossil. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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I was definitely tempted, Doug. Is that what happened to you? Or are you originally from the Aloha state? It appears my husband will in fact be taking on some work there, so we will certainly go back. However, there are so many amazing places in the world, to see– Fiji, was indeed very special! Thanks for the feedback, Doug; it’s much appreciated.
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The boy will go far. Probably not far enough though… 🙂 Nice one.
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He’ll end up swimmin’ with the fishes, doll face! 😉
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Dear Dawn,
I agree with Dough. Joey’s a fossil and has a thick head to match. Love the dialogue. Nicely Nicely done. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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PS A poisun could develop a cold.
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Thanks Rochelle. Sometimes it’s fun to be outside your comfort zone! Have a great weekend. d
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That dialogue really rocks! At least Joey tried too bail himself out as best he could in the conversation. Brilliant!
Oh, in response to your question on my blog, I’ll answer it here. I ate at a couple of restaurants in J-lem. One was a glat kosher place called “Gril Bar.” Great kebobs and chops and salads, oh MY! I ate there last year. Really good! I might send a picture of me there, if I can find it. Another place is a coffee shop on Montifiore Street. Can’t remember the name, but they had no meat and a lot of dairy stuff (for the obvious reasons, yes). The chocolate cheesecake — WHOA! We met some fiends and ate at the Botanical Gardens, which was good, too. Kind of above-average stuff. It was OK. Then the Foccacia Bar where they had a terrific pizza and hamburger. Mmm-MM!
So, there you have it! Your daughter might have eaten at one of those places.
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When I visited my daughter, 2 years ago, we went to Eucalyptus and had one of the most amazing meals! They serve food from the bible… kosher. It was truly fantastic! Do you go every year, Kent? And why? What’s the draw? I’m curious. Very interesting.
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It’s hard to explain here. Rochelle has my e-mail address, go ahead and ask her for it.
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For some guys, it’s all about the shiny exterior and not the special features of the interior. 🙂 Great response to the prompt. It was a challenging one.
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It was really challenging, Caerlynn! Welcome to Tales From the Motherland. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment; it’s much appreciated. Hope you’ll check out some of the other recent posts. 🙂
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(snerk) Glad she wising up early in life.
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Yeah, like she said.
Thanks Leona, and welcome to TFTM! I appreciate your feedback. 🙂
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Great voices.
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Thanks so muc.
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Very fun! I love your creativity!
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Thanks Heidi. I love this weekly challenge. It really pushes me outside my usual box.
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His “What else is there?” is telling.
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No kidding Dawn, it should definitely be telling her that the jig is up! Time to move on… thanks for taking the time. 😊
Sent from Dawn’s iPhone
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Just plowing along.. I must say I *dig* that 🙂 Nice dialogue….
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Thanks Björn, you witty guy you! 😉
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Joey’s da king of da boneheads. Funny flash, Lady.
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You da bomb, Honey… uh, I mean Honie. Da bomb. 😉
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But what if he thinks clothing is all that’s on her mind?
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He’s doing his bst to make her happy. She should have been a bit more specific if she wanted to talk. Joey needs a littl help. Fun story.
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Good points, Margaret. It’s true that communication is a two way street. That said, I’m not sure Joey will get it anyway. 😉
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That must of been some dress 😉 Nicely done
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Thank you; I’m so glad you enjoyed it. 🙂 Thanks for taking the time; it’s much appreciated.
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A charming and sweet story! I like the return to the “red number” she’s got on!
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Thank you Dreamer; I really appreciate your feedback. This one was a stretch for me, admittedly. Hopefully you’ll come back and see that I can write other things. 😉
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