What a few weeks I’ve had! I could not be more grateful for the support and encouragement of my wonderful writing community, on my blog and here on Friday Fictioneers. I am now officially a “featured blogger” for Huffington Post! Thanks to all of you, for this wonderful place to explore flash fiction each week; it is something I look forward to, every single week! If you are interested in reading some of the HuffPost pieces, check out my Tales From the Motherland Facebook page. If you hit Like, you’ll see all posts there. Or, visit any story on HP and hit the thumbs up near my name, to receive all posts. Now I’ll have to show them that they made a good choice.
If you would like to participate in Friday Fictioneers, or read all the great stories from this amazing prompt, by Douglas Macllroy, visit Addicted to Purple. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields graciously herds the group of Kool Kats, and hosts our weekly challenge to write a 100 word story, to a photo prompt. As always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback.
Abeni Pleads (95 words)
Day in and day out, Abeni works under an unforgiving sun. Her black skin glistens, and the red dust clings to her dry cracked hands.
She carries her humble grains back to her family, and hopes that her husband will be happy. His happiness is her peace.
“Your name means one who pleads humbly,” her mother told her, as a child.
Now, with a baby of her own on the way, she is tired of humble pleas; tired of authority, tired of life sucking her dry.
“I will name my child Strength; my child will not plead.”
* * *
HELP ME REACH MY 2014 GOAL: I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I’mforcedto be brief. Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Honest, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam. If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there. ©2014 Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.
Congratulations on your Huffington Post status! Great story too; a woman who has had enough of the role that has been assigned to her. Well done.
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Thanks Sandra; I so appreciate the support!
Such a spectacular photo! Trapped seemed the only way to go.
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I enjoyed the story, punchy ending. Congrats on the HP featured status – great stuff 🙂
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Thanks so much!
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Dear Dawn,
Who will not plead? Wouldn’t this read better with ‘she’ in place of they? What am I missing.
I loved your story. Beautiful characterization and simple and direct writing. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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Doug, I LOVE this prompt! Stunning photo, and truly impactful. It was with me all day, as I my story brewed. 😉 Abeni’s name means to plead humbly; pleading has lead to a hard life. She believes that a stronger name will changer her child’s lot. If that didn’t come through, I need to make a change. I’ll take another look and think about the end… it is meant to suggest that her child will not plead.Thanks for the feedback! Mahalo, Dawn
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Dear Dawn,
It goes without saying that you are my hero. Nice work.
This story packs a punch, although the ending seems a bit week. Perhaps, “she will not plead.”
Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ack! That’s weak not week….ack ack ack!
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I love that you and Doug often follow each other back to back in comments… and deliver similar thoughts! I will have to look at that! Thanks Rochelle.
As for heroes, that is so kind of you, but you can definitely find better heroes! I’m just grateful for this current pat on the back. I needed it! 🙂 Shabbat shalom; I hope your weekend is wonderful. d
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A powerful story of a powerful personality, all within a few words. Well done!
http://peppersfetch.blogspot.com/2014/12/nightmare-vision.html
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Thank you so much for taking the time! I appreciate your feedback.
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Dawn, Another great, well-written story. Congratulations on the HP assignments! They were wise to hire you. You’ll be a big asset to them. All good will goes with you to the new job. 🙂 — Suzanne
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No hiring here, Suzanne; HP just gave me an opportunity to write (for free) without having to pitch stories. I write them; they’ll post them. A big step though. I really appreciate your wonderful support!
I’ve been meaning to ask: For ages, you’ve gone by Susan, and now you’re signing Suzanne (which as always been on your gravitar); why the change?
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This is such a lovely, strong story, full of bravery. I’m not sure about the ‘they’ in the last line. I know you’ve used this because the woman doesn’t know if she’s having a boy or girl, but it weakens it slightly, and I wonder if it would be best if you just let her assume it will be ‘she’.
Claire
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I almost did that… and then, yes, got caught up on not knowing the sex. Time to make a change! Thanks Claire.
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Love the story, Dawn. Snd I have to disagree with Doug. “They” to me implies unknown gender and Doug’s assuming Albeni’s child is female. I’d leave it like it is.
Congrats on the HuffPost status, too! What a great Christmas present and so well deserved!
Have a wonderful holiday season, Dawn! I’m going to Curacao to go diving!
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Thanks for the feedback, Cathy. Yes, I wanted to leave the sex unknown, but perhaps it does weaken the punch? I appreciate your feedback, and all of the support you continue to give!
Curacao! Wow! So excited to see what comes out of that one!! You need a page, where we can go and see more photos! I can barely wait for the weekly challenges… even though I’m often late to responding! Happy holidays, and a wonderful New year as well. xox
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Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
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Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Abeni Pleads | ugiridharaprasad
Thank you so much, for sharing.
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I’m so impressed with what you’ve accomplished this year, Dawn, especially in light of the injuries you had. I know you’ll do great over at the Huffington Post.
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Thanks so much Carrie. It was a year full of challenges AND rewards, for sure! I always appreciate your support in my writing; thanks!
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Congrats on your Huff post position. I am honored to say I knew you when…
This story is wonderful. It’s very thought provoking from the way she interacts with her husband to the relationship with her mother and finally the hope for her unborn child. That’s a lot for a mere 95 words!
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Thanks Dawn… on all counts. I did change the end, given some feedback. I love that about FF! Thank so much for the support and kind words. 😀
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I like how your main character, Albeni, has found the will to not yield to authority as her name ‘pleads humbly’ suggests she has done for too long.
Her name, from what I was able to discover, is of Romanian derivation, as there is a town of the same name in Romania. I was wondering why her child would not also have an ethnic name. For example, ‘Síla’ in Czech could have given the ending some continuity with your title and introduction. Thus, your last line would read, “I will name my child ‘Síla’, which means Strength…” It keeps that exotic flavor going right through to the end. It is a minor detail, but one I thought I would share. – Mike
PS – Add my kudos to those of your other many admirers for your notoriety on HP!
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Thanks for this thought provoking feedback, Mike. I used a list of African names… and, I couldn’t find Strength, but know it must be out there. It also would add too many words to have to explain that. I opted for being a bit vaguer… Now I have to look up the name, and dig a little deeper! 😉
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Congratulations! I liked this story and the ending was perfect. The meaning at the end came across perfect.
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Thanks so much Priceless Joy. I did change it, and you are reading that changed version. I think others were on target with the problems that I had. A change seemed fair game. Thanks for taking the time!
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It was excellent! 🙂
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What a wonderful imagination and way of expressing yourself! Can’t wait to see how 2015 turns out for you.
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Thanks Heidi! I appreciate your wonderful support. 🙂
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You captured the heart of a mother and the reality of women everywhere with this one, Dawn. Right now, in pain, I know my pain is temporary. This. The never ending humble plea. Powerful.
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Stephanie, what have I missed? What’s going on… pain?? Sorry, it’s been a crazy week for me, and I’m not catching up until the weekend; sorry if I missed something.
Thank you for such wonderful feedback; it means so much.
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Pain, just general, garden variety pain we all experience from time to time. Unlike your character’s lifetime of unrelenting pain. Nope, you haven’t missed a thing.
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So glad to hear it.
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Dear Dawn,
There are many congratulations and well-wishes to be made, but first let me congratulate you on a truly stunning flash this week. Great work!
I happily followed the link to “like” your Facebook page. Here’s hoping I can squeeze out a little time to read your Huff Post content every now and then.
Happy Hanukkah!
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Marie Gail, thank you, thank you! I’m thrilled that you make time for my FF stories each week, no worries on anything more. Your kind words are much appreciated, but seriously, having your feedback on my stories each week is what matters the most to me. Hope your holidays are wonderful: Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas! Dawn
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One step forward – my child will not plead. May the world choose to follow that sentiment. Happy holidays, my dear.
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Alicia, thanks for your feedback; I always appreciate your thoughts. Happy holidays to you and yours as well.
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Yes.. I think once you have that strength yourself you are ready to pass it to your child.. congratulations on being featured on Huffpost.. what a great step forward..
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Thanks Björn… right now, it’s very exciting, and (admittedly) a wee bit daunting. But I’m not looking that gift horse in the mouth… whatever that’s supposed to mean! ;_)
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Congrats on being named a Featured Writer at Huffington Post. That’s wonderful! All your hard work is paying off, Dawn. Great story, here. It rings loud and clear, with simple and concise writing. I hope this name will pave the way for a better life for the child.
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We all hope for good things for our children… wherever we live, however we live.
Thanks, Amy. I so appreciate your support and kind words.
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Many congratulations on your HP posts, they make good reading.
I like this story very much; we all want better things for our children and although Abeni’s name may mean ‘plead humbly’ there is strength and determination there too.
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Thanks so much Dee. I’ve felt so very supported by my FF family, and I appreciate it more than I can say. Thanks for the kind support and feedback. It helps my improve my writing, and encourages me when things are tough. Thanks!
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‘Strength’ is a great name for a child. I love how you’ve described Abeni and her toil. Powerful.
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Thanks so much, Margaret. This character felt very real to me.
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Great story, beautifully written. Best I’ve read here for ages. And from strength comes strength and so on. Let happen sooner rather than later.
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Simple, yet effective story telling. The use of the names in this story lends it a somewhat African / Caribbean tint I feel.
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African, Weltchy. Good call. Thanks for the feedback; it’s much appreciated.
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