Too many balls in the air! When I saw this wonderful photo by Ted Strutz last week, several stories came to me right away. I was sure I’d have something in Wednesday! But the days got away from me… This story kept running through my head. Yes, it’s a dark room up there sometimes. After weeks of perky, I suppose this was bound to happen! Entry #100!!
Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for the time and energy she commits to Friday Fictioneers each week– she’s a damned good egg! Check out her blog, Addicted to Purple, for more details or to join in. As always, I welcome positive and/or constructive feedback; please leave a comment!
Breakfast of Champions (96 words)
“I don’t believe in the death penalty, but honestly– the electric chair is too easy for this guy!” Jen frowned, as she read about John Allen’s trial. “Anyone who could torture and kill those girls– so viciously…”
Tom reached for the orange juice.
“The youngest victim, Kelsey, was only 15… the things he did to her– it makes my blood run cold.” Jen shuddered.
“Honey, you shouldn’t read those stories; they really get to you.”
Tom took his plate to the sink, rubbing Jen’s shoulder as he passed. In his pocket, he fondled Kelsey’s missing button.
* * *
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Creepy!
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So much in this story.. first the scary thought of executing the wrong guy .. and the second to have the murderer at such proximity.. the coldness and I guess crave to do it again, so many things packed into one story. Sometimes we just have to let our stories ripen…
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Oooh. So very good, Dawn! Congrats on #100…one of your finest! Love your dark side.
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Dear Dawn,
I’m so glad you didn’t miss this week. Better late than never and with a story that doesn’t disappoint. I’m with Björn, the thought of the wrong guy going to the chair is horrifying enough. The way you told is spot on perfect.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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When I see crimes like this reported in the press, I always wonder if the nearest and dearest of the accused had any inkling… You have done a great job in giving us a peep into an ordinary life that is anything but. Well done.
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Great angle on this one. Dark and powerful.
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The economy here really made it work. Great, and chilling, story.
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Dark, creepy, well done!
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Whoa! Brilliant and yes, creepy, twist. Feels like the opening scene of a very disturbing book that is destined to become a movie.
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It’s always weird when one reads a story like this in the newspaper and the thought pops into your mind, “How could the wife not have known?” or the neighbors say, “He was always so nice to my children.” Maybe there’s a little Jekyll and Hyde in all of us. Well done. Alicia
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Thanks Alicia; that’s exactly where this came from! 😉
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Yikes!
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What a perfect ending to a most unsettling story. Disturbing. Excellent.
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Thanks Margaret. That photo seemed so stark; it just called out for this one. 😉
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Dear Dawn, Sorry I’m so late reading your story this week – You are usually my go-to read first. I love the story – and I’m sure this has happened somewhere at sometime. What a horrible beast he is and now poor John Allen is going to pay the ultimate price for a false arrest. Well, at least he will rot in hell someday. Really a good story Dawn! Nan 🙂
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Thanks Nan! I put my story up VERY late, and honestly didn’t expect anyone would see it. 😉 So, thanks for checking it out!
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That was scary on more than one level, Dawn. That’s one of the reasons I don’t believe in the death penalty. It goes to show how little we probably know about many of our neighbors.Well done as always. — Suzanne
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Wow! You sucked me in completely with the casual conversation. Then you clobbered me with that closing line which was as creepy as a night at the Bates Motel. Whew! Nicely done. – Mike
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Thanks Mike. Glad I had that effect! 😉
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Ooouuu that was wicked!!
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Thanks so much, Joy!
Sent from Dawn’s iPhone
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Oh and I forgot… wickedly good!
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