Friday Fictioneers is a magical place, where writers spin stories from a photo. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields manages to keep us in line and provide inspiration each week, as our talented leader. Visit her blog Addicted To Purple to read more stories, or join in. This week’s photo comes from “The Reclining Gentleman.”
Jesus Saves
“Don’t worry, baby, everything’s ok.”
The dusky night whizzes by his speeding car.
“There’s evil in this world… but the Lord guides me.”
He glances at her sleepy face in the mirror and smiles.
“No more tears.”
He pulls the car over to the center of the bridge, opens the car door and unbuckles the car seat. His four year-old daughter wraps her tiny arms around his neck.
“You’re safe, baby. Jesus saves.”
He kisses her silky cheek and drops her over the railing, into the frigid water ninety feet below, then turns back around–– a deer in the headlights.
(100 words, exactly) Most days the news is too much to bear. Some days, a photo reminds me of that. As always, I welcome your honest, constructive feedback. Please leave a comment.
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Help Me Reach My Goals! I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 800 likes in 2015. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, LeBron James does! Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. Honest, constructive feedback is always appreciated. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, no spam. ©2015 Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper
Oh man, that’s a shocker and a heart-stopper, Dawn. You definitely create a visceral reaction with this one. And in 100 words or less, that’s not easy to do.
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Wow! Thanks so much, Carrie. A compliment like that, from you… golden.
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🙂
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Oh, so sad. Definitely a shocking ending. I was hoping this wouldn’t happen. You always wonder what happens in the moment when someone commits a horrible act such as this. Well done, Dawn.
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Thanks so much Amy. It was a hard one to write, but I’m glad it delivers a punch.
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I feared he was going to kill the little girl and he DID. There’s a special place for people like that and it “ain’t” very nice. Well done, Dawn.
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Thanks Alicia. I hope you’re right.
I’ve missed you!
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Nothing will ever shock me again, I thought. That is until your story hit me right between the eyes. The title should have been a clue that there was an upper cut on the way. Bravo, Dawn.
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Thanks so much Steph! Sadly, I’m sure there are shocks still out there. If you hit the “news” link, you’ll see that reality is more shocking than fiction. Or, just take my word.
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Nailed it!
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Thanks Susan! Sadly, it happens far too often.
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I am aware.
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I’m with mariner2mother. You nailed it.
(Living in Massachusetts, with a view of Plum Island every time we head to the beach, this hits especially close to home. Our news every night for the last week has pretty much been about the guy in your story. Can you imagine? Like for real?)
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I’m really honored that this story nails it, for you and others. I write to impact and it’s great to do that, with people I respect.
Totally unsure what you’re referring to. Send me a link; now I’m curious… though one dark story certainly begets another. Did you hit the link at the end of this one? Just jolted me.
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Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Jesus Saves | ugiridharaprasad
Thanks so much for sharing my work; it’s much appreciated.
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Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
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Tragic ending, and the more so because of the real life story you’ve linked in. You’ve captured the twisted mindset of the father very well.
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Thanks Margaret. Yes, fact is often so much more horrible than fiction.
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I’m sorry you linked this with Jesus, (especially in the title) who provides so much hope and so much guidance to do the right thing. It’s compelling, and you are a talented writer, with deep thought.. but I was sad at where this led me, and it was only partly about the horrific act.
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Klm, thanks for sharing your thoughts; I appreciate your perspective. I feel strongly that the title reflects the horror of what has been done in the name of Jesus (read the link) and the insanity of that. I respect your concern; I appreciate your feedback, but I stand by the choice. Thanks for taking the time to visit Tales From the Motherland to read and share your thoughts; it is much appreciated.
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It’s a sad iterpretation of accounts heard about too often. A father with a psychotic mind.
You’ve told the horror story with compassion.
Isadora 😎
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I agree Isadora; this is far too common. It is a horrific reality of people who lose touch with reality. Thanks for taking the time.
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What an awful thing! I thought they were both going to go over the side so the ending shocked me even more. Very well told.
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Thanks Perry. Reality is so shocking sometimes; fiction can only dabble.
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what a twist. i didn’t expect the tragic ending.
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I’m sorry to shock you, Plaridel, but glad the writing moved you.
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A seriously misguided Christian or Christian for short.
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No doubt. Misguided in every way. Thanks Mick.
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So tragic, Dawn. That happens so often here. People are deep in depression and just give up. It’s doubly terrible when they take their children with them. Well written as always. —— Suzanne
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I get it, so to speak, but it always horrifies me that people get this desperate/ crazy/ angry, etc and then take innocent children with them! Just horrifying. Thanks for reading, S!
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OMG I wasn’t expecting that, Dawn. Stopped me in my tracks that did. Well done.
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Sandra, THAT is a compliment, whether you liked it or not… you are the penultimate “stopped in your tracks” writer, and I’ honored. Thanks!
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Dear Dawn,
Your story is enough to turn my stomach and break my heart. You made the horrible news up close and personal. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much Rochelle. This is a story that seems to reoccur FAR to often, and it always stuns me. I saw the photo and the two collided. Thanks for your kind words.
Shabbat Shalom!
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Why people drag Jesus into their crimes never ceases to amaze me. I suppose invoking his name creates instant justification in their sick, twisted mind. Rarely a week goes by when I don’t read about someone who killed their children. It makes me want to barf.
A well written piece on an unsettling subject.
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It is incredibly sad and shocking, how many mentally ill people are out there… too many of them with children. And yes, Russell, horrible that somehow it’s so often “Jesus” who talks to them. Sad, sad, sad.
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Oh Dawn, you sucker-punched me with this one. Heartbreaking and to read about the RL case, I am speechless. It takes courage to write about something like this, but it needs to be done. Thank you so much, that little girl deserved to be remembered through your words.
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Thanks Loré. I almost dedicated it, but it’s just too awful. I hope she’s remembered for her sweet laugh and life, not this horrifying death. Unbearable.
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😦
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Indeed. Very hard stuff, Tracey.
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I was speechless earlier. Still am actually. Kids deserve better. Parents are meant to protect them!
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I could not agree more. Kids deserve so much better in life. Thanks for your feedback.
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So sad.. I just hope there is a place for the man where he can cause no more harm.. sick but so well written
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It’s all about the writing, so I’ll take “sick, but so well written!” Thanks Björn; I agree, so sad!
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Haunting.
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Thanks M!
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Quality A+
(grin)
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I am tickled to death. 😉
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Sick sick man.
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Indeed, he clearly is.
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It is interesting how people suddenly start believing in Jesus when it’s time to do something hideous, he suddenly becomes an inspiration. It’s starting to sound like a well rehearsed alibi to me. Good story.
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Welcome to Tales From the Motherland! Thanks for your feedback, creatingahome. I think that people who are disturbed turn a lot of things around, in their heads. Truly sick people don’t rehearse, but they do believe the voices, and maybe they draw upon things that felt true at another time in their lives… like faith. Either way, it’s sad and disturbing, on so many levels. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and read my work.
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Loved reading it.
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Thanks so much!
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Such a misguided man and deeply troubled I feel. I didn’t get the deer in the headlights part but otherwise I thought your story hit you in the gut . Well done.
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Thanks Irene; I’m glad you felt the story. Deer in the headlights refers to that frozen, shocked, look that deer have when a car is headed for them. They freeze and stare. I left the end up to interpretation, but in my mind, this man is very disturbed and like a deer in the headlights. Again, thanks for your feedback; it’s always good to hear how others read your work. 😉
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I guess I didn’t get the deer because we don’t see them here. I did get the gist though without the deer due to your good writing.
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Oh my! I can’t imagine no deer; there are SO many in our neighborhood! I can barely keep them out of my garden! 😦 Thanks again, Irene.
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Jesus is really not talking to them – the Devil is and they fall for it every time. Poor child with a bad non-care giver. Bless her/his heart. Nan
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Thanks Nan; it is indeed a sad situation.
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Wow, that shocked. Very dark, but good.
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Thanks so much JWD. I appreciate your kind feedback!
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