Friday Fictioneers: I Got You Babe

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Dawn Quyle Landau

I’m late, late, late this week… I’ve been in Denver for parent’s weekend at my son’s school. Such fun times together, but no time for anything else. Humble apologies for late submission and tardiness in reading all of your great stories!

A warning, this photo has a very disquieting quality to it, that pulled me in a dark direction. The focus on the closest cars, while the others are distorted and blurred, the rain. It give me the creeps. I apologize in advance for the language and unsettling topic. A writer’s gotta’ write what the muse inspires.

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction challenge with a photo prompt. Use it to create a 100-word story. If you are interested in joining this merry band of writers, from all over the world, check out Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s blog Addicted to Purple. As Always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback; please leave a comment.

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

I Got You Babe

Stupid bitch. As if a little rain would stop me? Park under a light and wait it out? I’m far more patient than you know.

I’ll wait in the shadows, baby doll–– with those pretty eyes watching for a break in the rain. Nervous? Afraid you’ll get wet, but more afraid of the dark… You should be.

You don’t even notice me. You’re all the same.

I can smell your fear, taste it–– sweet and salty, like the last one’s… and the one before her.

Sit and wait. I’ve got time.

I love the rain; it washes away the evidence.

(word count: 100)

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About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
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22 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: I Got You Babe

  1. Dee says:
    October 19, 2015 at 6:22 am

    Absolutely gave me the creeps. Well written as always, and just love your last line. Excellent Dawn.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Suzanne Joshi says:
    October 19, 2015 at 9:54 am

    That’s a real serial killer, Dawn. This sounds like the hook for a crime thriller. It’s a little diferent than your usual story, but well written , spooky. O_o — Suzanne

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  5. Dawn Quyle Landau says:
    October 19, 2015 at 10:20 am

    Thanks Suzanne. While this a departure from my usual, it’s fun to try new things. Glad it spooked you; that was my intent. 😉

    Like

    Reply
  6. rochellewisoff says:
    October 19, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Dear Dawn,

    Dark, haunting, disturbing and very well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. Amy Reese says:
    October 19, 2015 at 8:44 pm

    Chilling, Dawn. That last line really seals in the coldness and darkness of this. Well done.

    Like

    Reply
  8. iamehsan69 says:
    October 20, 2015 at 2:28 am

    The picture of the story is really clear! Glad i got to read this stuff.

    Like

    Reply
  9. HonieBriggs says:
    October 20, 2015 at 4:05 am

    Dawn,
    You tapped right into the mind of a predator this week. It is hard to shake the dark muse. The prompt does bring the creepy. Well done.

    Like

    Reply
  10. Dale says:
    October 20, 2015 at 5:10 am

    Am I ever glad I decided to go see if there were any more submissions!
    Great job, Dawn… so cold and creepy!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. aliciajamtaas says:
    October 20, 2015 at 6:55 am

    Well, dear, you certainly did go a bit on the dark side this week. And did a darn fine job of it, too. baby doll ~ somehow this is the creepiest line of all (for me).

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. Mike Lince says:
    October 25, 2015 at 11:52 am

    I love it! Turning to the dark side, just in time for Halloween. This post is like so many scary movies that are popular at this time of year, it’s like taking the Trick part of Trick or Treat to the ultimate level. – Mike

    Liked by 1 person

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