What a prompt! When I saw it on Wednesday, I knew just where I’d go. This photo from Liz Young really haunts! However, we were away for our 30th anniversary, and no wi-fi or electronics except in our room… we were too busy to sit around long enough for me to write and post. So, I’m sending this in late, and looking forward to seeing what others did with this one. As always, thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for running this weekly group of Kool Kats. Stop by her blog for more details. As always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback. Please leave a comment.
© Liz Young
Lilly smiled as she handed the man his burger-deluxe. He winked and she blushed; Lilly wasn’t sure how to respond to older men. He gave her the creeps, but she smiled again, politely, and handed him his change.
Four hours later, Buck Johnson wiped his hands on a Burger House apron. As the sun sank, he kicked dirt over the petite brunette’s naked body, and zipped up his fly.
“Stupid bitch–– shouldn’t lead a man on.”
Lilly stared off into the pale sky, a frozen smile on her lips. She’d never known how to deal with older men.
(98 words)
* * *
KAPOW! I didn’t meet the 2016 goal for Likes on the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page; missed it by 14! So this year, I’m not setting a goal. I’m grateful for each Like I get. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, LeBron James does (yes, for real)! Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. Honest, constructive feedback is always appreciated. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, no spam.
©2017 All content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, I’m grateful, but please give proper credit and Link back to my work; plagiarism sucks!
TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
The inside of your head is an interesting place, Dawn
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Neil. That’s such a nice way to say it. 😉
LikeLike
That was starkly shocking, Dawn. I’m almost speechless.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Well, I’m gonna run with that and feel good, Sandra. As one of my very favorite FF darker writers, I’m honored to leave YOU speechless. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very shocking, the delivery was perfect to create the shock and response, great skill in the writing
LikeLike
Thanks Michael. I think it was brewing in my head for days, with little or no specifics, and then it just came out in a flow of words. Love when FF takes me that way.
LikeLike
Shocking and chilling with his casual violence. Writing that makes a definite impact. Well done.
LikeLike
Thanks Lain. Sadly, I think there is far too much “casual violence” in the world today. The story just happened.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve had this story stuck in your head for four whole days? I bet you’re glad to get it out and written! Excellent, though nasty.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, to be honest Liz, this specific story wasn’t there… that happened in just minutes. But, the photo is SO amazing, I could feel a dark story coming. That photo really haunts me; so, hats off to you!
LikeLike
I agree with Liz, Dawn. Excellent, though nasty. On a different note, Happy Anniversary. We should take a few minutes to catch up on the phone soon! 2017 has been crazy so far!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The world is full of nasty, both good and bad kinds! I needed to go dark with this image!
I’d love to catch up; let’s plan to make that happen this week! xo
LikeLike
Wow, that one’s raw and dark. Does exactly what writing should do: invokes a strong reaction. Made me shudder. Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Carrie… coming from a woman who literally did that to me, for an entire book (!!), I’m honored to make you shudder. 😉 Thanks for the feedback! REALLY been missing you on line, and can’t wait for the next book.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Dawn. I’m still spending too much time on Twitter though. It’s like a black hole that sucks you in. 😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t spend enough time on there! But enjoy it!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This one sends chill down my spine… and being an older man myself I feel I want to chop his *** into little pieces.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Björn; it’s good to know there are so many good men out there! Helps balance the truly evil ones. Tak!
LikeLike
A nasty murder with some victim blaming thrown in. Excellent but painful story, Dawn. And Happy Anniversary.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much Gabriele! It was a wonderful week, for our 30th. 🙂 And yes, nasty seems to be the word!
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG!
LikeLike
I’ll take that as a compliment, Nahid. 😉 My internal world is a big and varied place.
LikeLike
The photo, then your story – I’ve been to a horror movie!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Kate. I appreciate that compliment. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Dawn,
When you go dark, you don’t fool around, do you? Chillingly well written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
I try not to do anything half way, Rochelle. This photo screamed dark, for me. Thanks for the wonderful feedback. Shalom! xo
LikeLike
Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
LikeLike
Thanks so much for sharing my work; it’s much appreciated!
LikeLike
Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: After Work | ugiridharaprasad
Thanks for sharing my story. I’m grateful!
LikeLike
Well, I suppose if she hadn’t smiled she would’ve needing killing for bad customer service. Poor girl. Looks like she no longer has to worry about how to deal with older men.
LikeLike
That’s fer sure, Russell. Haven’t gotten there yet, but no doubt the antithesis of what I’ll find on your page. 😉 It’s a wild and wooly world at FF.
LikeLike
Gut check! Clean up on aisle five. You brought the Wap Pow with this one, Dawn.
Happy Anniversary.
LikeLike
Thanks Steph! You just made me laugh out loud, and that is a good thing. 😉 Your humorous feedback and kind anniversary greeting are much appreciated.
LikeLike
Oh dear! My dinner is turning over in my tummy in a bad way 😦
LikeLike
Sorry for that. Not usually my M.O. but seemed right for this photo. Thanks!
LikeLike
I knew upon seeing picture it was going to be harsh. The short
Story was right to the point. Captivating ! Love
Your work. Have found and followed you for some time We have a mutual friend, Dara
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much for all of this! I’m grateful for the kind feedback and appreciate you taking the time to follow along, and love our connection. Can’t get better than that golden string. 😉
LikeLike
Chilling and sad.
LikeLike
Thanks Sascha! I appreciate your feedback.
LikeLike
Dark, yes. And well done. But I’d have him zip his fly and then kick the dirt over the body. But that’s just me. Very well done, actually.
LikeLike
Good suggestion, Sue… I may rework this later!
LikeLiked by 1 person
gosh that picture creeped me out
LikeLike
It’s creepy indeed! It has stayed with me… nagging to have more stories written about it.
LikeLike
It really got me too! I’ve thought about it all week!
LikeLike
Good grief, Dawn, this is hugely unsettling.
Fabulous piece of writing.
And, re comment above, please don’t change a word.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much CE. I do appreciate feedback, and often consider edits, after a piece is done… that said, I spent a lot of time thinking about the order of this unsettling, “nasty” bit of writing. I feel like there’s a whole, much bigger story in there–– and I’m making no changes, for now. Thanks for the wonderful comment; it’s always appreciated.
LikeLike
Very dark and tightly packed. You ran a straight line from start to end, without one word out of place. Amazing as ever!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Loré; this piece was just waiting to be written. I had to cut a few words, descriptive… hate that. But, glad it touched a chord. As always, I appreciate your feedback.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my, this is a big nightmare of mine. I smile a lot and find that people … well, men … misinterpret that, sometimes. This one struck a dark, and evilness that does seem to be out there. You captured the whole thing is less than 100 words … BRAVO.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s sad that women still have to worry about this kind of thing. Attraction is one thing, but undesired attention should be understood… thanks Isadora!
LikeLiked by 1 person