I was late last week with my “nasty” story, but appreciated the comments; thanks all y’all! That was one of my favorite photo prompts ever! Out of the park, Liz! Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Check out her blog for more details, or to join in.
Big changes at Huffington Post, and my piece about the March on Washington was not published until last week. Delayed, but still much my thoughts. Some great photos from DC! As always I appreciate honest, constructive feedback; please leave a comment.
© Sarah Potter
No Words
Jordan stared out the open window, watching the snow fall. The house was silent, and the flakes landed with a soft whoosh, wrapping her in icy peace. She blew out softly and watched her breath disappear in a vaporous cloud.
When Doug told her he was leaving, she was silent.She remained mute as he left–– unable to plead, apologize or seek reconciliation.
There was no point; he’d left her long before he said the words. She smiled at the beauty that mocked her grief, and closed the window.
The house was silent, her heart as cold as the dark night.
(Exactly 100 words)
* * *
KAPOW! I didn’t meet the 2016 goal for Likes on the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page; missed it by 14! So this year, I’m not setting a goal. I’m grateful for each Like I get. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, LeBron James does (yes, for real)! Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. Honest, constructive feedback is always appreciated. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, no spam.
©2017 All content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, I’m grateful, but please give proper credit and Link back to my work; plagiarism sucks!
TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
Her heart will warm when she realises that his physically leaving her will allow her to move on. He was already gone in his heart anyway…
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So true, Dale, but it’s always hard to see it when we’re in it–– fictionally or otherwise.
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Beautiful evocation of sadness, Dawn.
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Thanks Kate; I really appreciate that!
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This was beautiful, Dawn.
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Thanks Cathy; that means a lot to me! We still haven’t caught up… but let’s keep it on the agenda. 😉
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You are rocking the Huff Post lady! Moving story, hope she moves on soon.
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Thanks Louise… actually, the HP ties are growing thin. After 54 pieces with them, my editor has left and it has become MUCH harder to get my work published. I’ve been very lucky up ’til now, but not sure it will stay that way. Thanks for the encouragement, and glad you liked this story!
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It’s amazing to get published by them at all. 54 pieces is pretty amazing.
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Thanks Louise… licking my wounds, but thanks for that reminder. 🙂
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You skillfully evoked her mood through the atmosphere, Dawn
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Thanks Neil, the image isn’t hard to imagine, though I’m not in her shoes. 😉
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Really great use of the photo to create a mood that reinforced the protagonist’s feelings.
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Thanks Rommy; I appreciate your thoughtful feedback. And welcome to Tales From the Motherland; hope you’ll be back! 🙂
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With the snow, came the final realization that their relationship was over. Who will melt her cold, cold heart?
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Some things don’t melt, but let’s hope it’s something good. Thanks Russell!
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Dear Dawn,
“He left her long before…” Backstory in a few words. Well told, full of emotion. Well done as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS Liz’s photo is one of my favorites, too. It inspired a great variety of stories. Usually I can pinpoint the main theme for the week. Last week I couldn’t. I love it when that happens! 😉
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Thanks Rochelle… yes, my intention was to imply that while he is physically leaving now, he’d checked out long before. I think that is so often the case. And yes, oh that photo… sooo very good!
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Sometimes there’s nothing left to say. We just have to pull it together and move on. It looks easier in writing than it is in real life. You bring the emotional smackdown so effortlessly. That, too, you make look easier than it really is.
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Thanks so much Steph; your feedback always encourages and reaffirms my passions. While publishers dash them… thanks for that and your continued support!
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She will recover, though I wonder why she feels she should apologise? Lots of undertones here, and thanks for the Honourable Mention!
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I think so many women (in particular) feel they are to blame for hard things… she wants to beg, and reconcile. Yes, hopefully she will heal and move on; that is always the hope.
As for your photo… truly brilliant!
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Check out http://www.donaldtrumpdisorder.com!
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I’m not sure what this has to do with my story, or whether you even noticed my own work, but thanks for stopping by.
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it’s just a phase she has to go through. it’s not the end of the world. a new world beckons before her.
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I’m not sure that’s true for everyone, but an encouraging hope. Thanks Plaridel, I appreciate your optimism.
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So sad to feel alone when someone is still there. Sometimes it’s better to be alone for real. Sad story, well done.
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Thanks so much Sascha; I think that is the truest comment so far. It is indeed one of the saddest things, to be together-alone. Thanks for your insight and feedback; it’s much appreciated.
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Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
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Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: No Words | ugiridharaprasad
Thanks so much for sharing my work; as always I really appreciate it!
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I felt the words as I read them. The heartache under the layer she seemed to have created in her knowledge that it had been over far before he said the words. A telling tale in so few words, Dawn. Bravo …
Isadora 😎
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Thanks Isadora; I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
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Of course it’s always too late for words… I hope that after winter comes spring… love the emotion you painted in words.
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Thanks Björn. I think there are some very sad people, who never find the spring, but this is fresh… and healing takes time. Thanks for your kind feedback!
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I hope she’ll be over him soon. Great use of the cold for her feelings.
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Thanks Gabriele. Loss is so often a cold and lonely thing…
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Maybe she will eventually realize that he did her a favor in the end. As the poet says “If winter comes, can spring be far behind?”
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It’s always better to leave or be left behind, from a relationship where love has died… but oh the pain of that, is not always seen, in those difficult moments. Thanks Subroto; I appreciate your feedback.
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Dawn, this has to be one of my favorites of your Friday F. Last two pieces have hit it out of the ball park for me. Such versatility as a writer!
.. perfectly done.. tight- in a 100 words!
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Oh Audra, you have just made my day/night/week. I’m in a blue place right now, and my writing feels so stuck. Your opinion means a lot to me; thanks for these beautiful words.
I have not been so lucky getting your words. I had now wifi for 9 days and now I’m dealing with some challenges, and slow on the uptake… oh you and your deletes. They break my heart each time, for having missed your gorgeous words! xo Thanks again friend.
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I’ve felt this way. You’ve described it perfectly.
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I’m sorry you’ve felt this way, Dawn and sorry my words bring that back. But I’m honored by your lovely feedback; thanks so much.
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Are intelligent people more likely to be alone?
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I think we all run the risk of being alone. What makes you ask that, Bonnie? I’m a little lost in your question, but grateful that you took the time to read and comment. Thanks!
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I’m feeling a little sad…Your words are beautiful more than a picture.
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I’m feeling sad too, Bonnie. I think there are a lot of us right now… strength in numbers? Let’s hope so. And your comment makes me smile, so there you have it… strength. Thanks so much. xo
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Such a gentle description of her profound sense of sadness. Beautifully done.
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Thanks so much Loré; that means a lot.
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Beautiful stuff, Dawn. All compacted and neatly spoken. Works great! And don’t worry about being late, we’ll read ’em. 😉
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Thanks Kent. Too much on my plate these days, but love my FF! Better late than never, and this crowd is always so loving.
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Bring it on! 😉
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It’s as if the entire world is projecting her feelings. I wonder if he can understand what is not said…
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