Friday Fictioneers: Infinity


Like riding a bike… I saw a picture and 15 minutes later, had a story typed out. Cutting down those words is always the hard part. I’m rusty. As always I’m grateful to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for sticking with this and paving a road for so many writers. I’ve missed my FF posse! Just started blogging again, and writing Heavy stuff. As always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback. Please leave a comment. Waiting for 2nd grandson to be born (any day); I’ll do my best to reciprocate. If anyone would like to contribute a post to the 2018 Attitude of Gratitude, please visit this post and add your piece. There is never enough gratitude!

teds-car-in-the-woods

©TedStrutz

 

Infinity

Bobby groaned. “Come on baby, I love you.”

“Not until we’re married.”

He rolled his eyes.

“A piece of paper don’t change anything. Why we gotta’ wait?”

“I won’t be stuck here. Get a proper job, marry me, and we won’t have to do it in this old heap. “

“This here is one sweet ride, Sue.”

“This car is going nowhere; unless you get a job, neither are we.”
She straightened her sweater, smoothed her hair.

“Daddy will be staying up.”

Bobby turned the key and eased the Chevy down the rutted, dirt road. He was tired of waiting.

(100 words)

*     *     *

GIPYKAPOW! Have you stopped by Tales From the Motherland Facebook page to spread some fairy dust? I’m grateful for each Like. Follow me on Twitter, LeBron James does (for real… well, he did. But he may have dropped me recently)! Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. Honest, constructive feedback is always appreciated. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email,  no spam.

©2011-2019  All content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, I’m grateful, but please give proper credit and Link back to my work; plagiarism sucks!

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
Aside | This entry was posted in Flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, Honest observations on many things, Tales From the Motherland, Wrting and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

71 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: Infinity

  1. Sandra says:

    A faultless rendition of an eager and not so eager adolescent, Dawn. Lovely to see you back, and thanks for the ping-back last week. Look forward to seeing you regularly on here, you’ve been missed

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Iain Kelly says:

    Nice to see you back Dawn, and a great couple of voices here.

    Like

  3. Dear Dawn,

    I’m happy to see you back amongst the Hollywood Squares. I’d say Bobby should just keep on driving then. He’s not worthy of Sue. The dialogue is spot on. Well told.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  4. neilmacdon says:

    Welcome back, Dawn. Sue’s reticence is justified

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Marian Exall says:

    Dawn: Have you entered Cascadia Weekly’s Fiction 101 comtest? Open until February 15 at fiction101@cascadiaweekly.com. Word limit 101 words, any topic or genre. It’s hard to write short! Marian

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nicely done! If he’s THAT tired of waiting (i.e. respecting her wishes), then perhaps she will do well to get tired of HIM … However, if ti is just teen angst against his wishful hormones, and he’d continue to respect her boundaries and wishes then … well … perhaps he’s a keeper worth waiting for. 🙂
    Na’ama

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dale says:

    So very glad to have you back in the squares, Dawn. And kudos to Sue to not giving in… If he believes she’s worth it, he’ll wait and work 😉

    By the way, tell your daughter to take Castor oil… It worked for me! Took it at 10:30 PM, had my son at 6:30 am… just sayin’… 😉 (I wanted to tell you on your “Heavy” post – which I now have to check to see if I did respond because now i’m not sure…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Dale! I wanted to join last week for your photo, but it didn’t spark a story and I was a chicken. 😉 I appreciate your feedback.

      As for labor, I did the same thing with my 3rd child, who was 10 days late, in August, up hill, in the snow, with mosquitoes, and he weighed 9 lbs! BUT, she says it’s very unhealthy. And what do I know about having kids?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dale says:

        Haha! No worries…

        Right. Why take any suggestion from us “old” folk who know from nothing… I was induced for my first. No way in hell I wanted to be induced for the second, which was set up for March 31st. Instead, March 30th, I did the Castor Oil thing and he arrived on his own (besides, induction at what time? would I have had an April Fool’s baby? I couldn’t chance it! :D)

        Liked by 1 person

  8. That is one smart girl…you painted the picture with ease and it shines through.
    Good to see you write again.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. pennygadd51 says:

    A good, fluently told slice of life. I think Sue has absolutely the right idea!

    Like

  10. I liked it! I thought it was cute and spot on! Made me think of the song “Keep your hands to yourself” 😉 Will be keeping positive thoughts for your daughter and grandson! Cheers! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  11. kislaya says:

    I love the conversational tale. Bobby shouldn’t be tired of waiting, instead, he should respect her wishes if he truly loves her. I agree with Sue’s stand on this.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Abhijit Ray says:

    Girl was a hard nut to crack. She was right, a paper changes a lot of things. May be Bobby was not good for her.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. so glad to see you again… your writing isn’t rusty at all.

    I liked the story a lot, and there are too many miserable stories saying who is the wise one… but in the end there is a bigger story here, girls leaving for the city and education and boys being stranded in the countryside…

    I hope Bobby will see what she means before it’s too late….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Bjorn; it’s so great to see all my FF buddies again! I did a ping back to your web page on one of my recent blog posts, remembering our lovely lunch in Sweden. Such a nice day! Thanks for making time for my story; I’m glad to see your face.

      Like

  14. gahlearner says:

    She knows what she wants and that’s a good message, timely too. And a welcome back from me, too. 🙂

    Like

  15. Ugh!! Well-written!

    Like

  16. I like Sue. Not much for Bobby but I suppose I shouldn’t hold a grudge against a horny teenager.
    You cut this well. It fits perfectly at the word limit.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. James McEwan says:

    Looks like Sue is going have to fight her way out of this one.

    Like

  18. Good stuff, nice to read your stuff. I think she did the right thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. 4963andypop says:

    Very skillful rendition of a movie scene we cant help but associate with such cars. Interesting to contemplate it through the lens of the “me too” movement.

    Like

  20. What an era you paint. Familiar to so many people, and to none. Can see this as a movie scene and am left wondering what happens next.

    Like

  21. Authentic voices . Good piece. One is left wondering whether there might be a crime scene to worry about as he is tired of waiting x

    gramswisewords.blogspot.com

    Like

  22. ceayr says:

    I felt like I was in that car.
    And I have been!
    Very real, very well done

    Liked by 1 person

  23. subroto says:

    Welcome back Dawn. Teenage dialogue captured expertly here and hints of a bigger back story that conveys a lot more. Very well done.

    Like

  24. Margaret says:

    Intriguing ending – leaves me wondering what’s on his mind now. Nothing good I’ll bet.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Lynn Love says:

    I loved the delineation of the characters/ He’s impatient, out for a good time. And she’s amazing – strong, level headed, no cliched young girl eager to be swept away by a handsome face and honeyed words. Loved this interaction and though I’m guessing they’ll break up, I suspect it might be for the best – at least for Sue

    Liked by 1 person

  26. granonine says:

    You and I wrote very similar stories this week–we even goth named our MC “Bobby.” Yours has a more positive ending than mine in terms of their relationship, but both girls said NO and meant it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  27. louismay15 says:

    it looks amazing keep it up 🙂

    Like

  28. tedstrutz says:

    Nice story, real. I remember you Dawn. I haven’t been around much either lately.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Sharon Gasbarro says:

    Dawn, I feel like the worst friend ever. I guess I knew just enough to realize I didn’t really know anything at all about your true childhood. This piece is beautiful just like you. Life’s experiences make us who we are today.. and I wouldn’t want you any other way. Enjoy this chapter! ❤️

    Like

    • Thanks so much Sharon! And you are certainly not the worst friend ever! (That’s someone else~ LOL!) You have been a friend for a long time, and I’m grateful for your steady support. I think these things really impacted who I was then, and why the merest hint of abandonment (so common in hs and in teens, right?) was so hard for me. It still is. I really grieve the end of relationships, even ones that are not healthy. Anyway, thanks for your love; it means a lot. xox

      Like

    • Just a PS) I just noticed your responded on this story, and not the essay… I’m sure it will seem out of context for anyone reading about an old car! lol

      Like

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