Many thanks to Rochelle for her commitment to Friday Fictioneers, I’m so grateful for this happy writing spot. As always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback. Please leave a comment.
©Anshu Bhojnagarwala
HOPE BURNS
As Jen struck the stone against the blade of her Swiss army knife again, she began to lose hope. Her arms burned from the effort; her fingers were growing numb in the cold.
“Shit! Why didn’t I ever practice!” Tears burned.
“Heeeelp!” She screamed again, knowing she was too far away for anyone to hear.
Tightening her fleece, she pressed the top snap.
“I’ve got to stay calm, to get through the night. Tomorrow, someone’ll come.”
She struck the blade again and a spark lit the moss. “Thank God,” she murmured as the dark fell in around her.
(98 words)
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TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
Thank heaven for the Swiss Army knife. It’s a life saver
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We bought each of our kids one, as soon as they were old enough. Thanks Michael!
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You had me rooting for Jen in that story, Dawn. You had me sharing her frustration and her fear as she struggled to light a fire to survive – and her relief when she succeeded.
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Thanks so much Penny. That’s always the hope, when we write. Right? Your feedback is much appreciated!
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Whew! Well done!
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Thanks Na’ama!
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The fire can make all the difference. Of course, a snack would be nice, too, I’ll bet.
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Now she has a fire going, a night out under the stars might be quite relaxing… or maybe not!
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I’m thinking that being lost in the wilderness isn’t all that relaxing. But that depends so much on the person. Lost is lost, with inherent anxiety, I think.
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That is something I have never even tried to do. Maybe I should learn…..
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I don’t know how either, and it often occurs to me that I should learn!
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Dear Dawn,
Jen’s a survivor. Good build of tension. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle! Todah ribah and shalom! xo
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Thank god for the penknife, she’ll probably have a better night now!
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No doubt there’s huge anxiety in being lost, but a fire is key. Thanks for the feefback; it’s much appreciated!
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Way to use in media res. Excellent! My only questions is at the end. If the knife has sparked light, why is the dark falling in around her?
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Even with a fire, night is all encompassing, in my experience. There is that small circle of light, that might provide warmth and some sense of relief, but the night–– it’s sounds, it’s vastness all around, is not put off by that smaller circle. Thanks for the feedback, Nancy; it’s wonderful to find your comment here. 🙂 Now, my question: what is “media res.”
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We gave each of our four boys a Swiss army knife. The knives were filled with useful gadgets for emergencies that would come in handy. Nicely done!
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Thanks Nan! Great to “see” you again, and as always, I appreciate your feedback. 🙂
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She could light fire. She will survive the night.
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It should certainly help! A fire is critical in these situations. Thanks for the feedback, Abhijit.
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What a relief. Tomorrow is another day
Click to read my FriFic tale!
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Already read it Keith. No need to give a link; I always read those who read me… and in this case, visited yours before that. 😉 Thanks for taking the time.
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Your character is determined and resourceful. I see her making it through the night and feeling much relieved when morning breaks. Your story has me thinking about how she got there and wondering what will happen next!
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Thanks Lynda. With these 100 words, we should all hope that our stories lead readers to want more, or think beyond the story. I’m glad I hit the mark, and I appreciate your kind feedback; thank you!
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A very tense scene, well done. So glad she got the fire going. 🙂
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Thanks Brenda; I really appreciate your feedback.
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Well that’s the heat and light taken care of. Now she needs to go hunting for dinner, I guess. Her frustration came through well.
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Thanks Sandra. I have often thought about how I would fare in a situation like this. I’m not sure I would look for food… I’d hope that the next day would bring help, or I’d try to hike out.
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I wonder what she is running from, stuck out in the cold like that. A story that leaves me wondering will she survive the next day.
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I’m not sure she’s running from, but perhaps lost and trying to go back to. 😉 Thanks for your thoughts James!
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Suspenseful, Dawn. I want to know what happens in the morning.
I’m not very good at surviving disasters. I’d be frozen by morning. : )
I enjoyed where you wnet with the prompt. It would have fit the photo
prompt last week too. Have a super weekend.
Isadora 😎
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Thanks Izzy! I’m not sure how I would do in such a crisis either, to be honest. I have thought about it often (living in a place where we are out in the wilderness quite regularly) and I can only hope I’d get that fire lit! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. xo
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Even with survival training, it can be difficult to do what needs to be done. We suffered terribly in 2017 when Hurricane Irma came through and blasted our home to the point that we went to a shelter. A place I would not want to be in again however short it was – 3 days. We went home and enjoyed the disaster – no lights, no water and no way of cooking except bar b que. Hubby kept me going. I know I’d just sit and stare. I hope to never go through something like that again. But, God doesn’t give us what we can’t handle. I’m sure, somehow, I would have gotten through even with tons of tears. 😎
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We are all stronger than we believe… until we’re tested.
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😎
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Was feeling her fear throughout!
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Good! I appreciate that, Lisa. I wanted to build in tension, without overstating it.
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That’s quite a skill to have. She’s a survivor. Good story.
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Both my sons could do this; I’m not so sure I could! thanks for your feedback, Margaret.
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You can feel her desperation coming through as the night falls and she’s alone in the dark. Great use of the photo prompt, Dawn
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Thanks so much Lynn. I’m glad I got the emotional context thru’ in so few words. It’s always a challenge, right? I appreciate your feedback.
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My pleasure
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Survival story… nice! 🙂
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Thanks Courtney!
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Nice tension build here. I sure felt relief when she lit that spark!
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Thanks so much Amie. It’s hard to build something in 100 words, so it’s wonderful when my fellow writers get what I was doing. Thanks for your feedback; it’s much appreciated!
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You’re welcome! That 100-word limit is definitely challenging.
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Just as she is about to succumb to despair the spark ignites, nice build and great take on the prompt
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Thanks so much, Michael. I’m pleased that you got those things from my piece. Thanks for taking the time.
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You’re welcome
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I can really feel the relief of her managing to get the fire burning… hope the dawn bring her fresh hope.
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Thanks Björn; I think it would be terrifying to be lost in the wilderness… one would need hope!
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Why didn’t you just write her a box of matches, Dawn, save us all that stress?
Nice one.
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Lol! True… we have the power to give and take, don’t we, C.E? Thanks for taking the time.
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So relieved. No life without fire!
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That’s for sure! Thanks for reading; it’s much appreciated.
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I hope she makes it.
Chilling story 🙂
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Thanks Dawn; I appreciate your feedback!
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We’ve got one of those spark started too. I’ve played with it a few times, but never lit a real fire. I’m glad she got hers to work.
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Thanks Russell. I’ve never had any luck… I’d rather not figure it out in the wilderness!
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