Friday Fictioneers: Hope Burns


Many thanks to Rochelle for her commitment to Friday Fictioneers, I’m so grateful for this happy writing spot. As always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback. Please leave a comment.

bonfire-anshu

©Anshu Bhojnagarwala

 

HOPE BURNS

As Jen struck the stone against the blade of her Swiss army knife again, she began to lose hope. Her arms burned from the effort; her fingers were growing numb in the cold.

“Shit! Why didn’t I ever practice!” Tears burned.

“Heeeelp!” She screamed again, knowing she was too far away for anyone to hear.

Tightening her fleece, she pressed the top snap.

“I’ve got to stay calm, to get through the night. Tomorrow, someone’ll come.”

She struck the blade again and a spark lit the moss. “Thank God,” she murmured as the dark fell in around her.

(98 words)

*     *     *

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About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
Aside | This entry was posted in Blog hop, Blogging, Flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, Honest observations on many things, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

61 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: Hope Burns

  1. michael1148humphris says:

    Thank heaven for the Swiss Army knife. It’s a life saver

    Liked by 1 person

  2. pennygadd51 says:

    You had me rooting for Jen in that story, Dawn. You had me sharing her frustration and her fear as she struggled to light a fire to survive – and her relief when she succeeded.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Alice Audrey says:

    The fire can make all the difference. Of course, a snack would be nice, too, I’ll bet.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Iain Kelly says:

    Now she has a fire going, a night out under the stars might be quite relaxing… or maybe not!

    Like

  5. Violet Lentz says:

    That is something I have never even tried to do. Maybe I should learn…..

    Like

  6. Dear Dawn,

    Jen’s a survivor. Good build of tension. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  7. Thank god for the penknife, she’ll probably have a better night now!

    Like

  8. Nancy says:

    Way to use in media res. Excellent! My only questions is at the end. If the knife has sparked light, why is the dark falling in around her?

    Like

    • Even with a fire, night is all encompassing, in my experience. There is that small circle of light, that might provide warmth and some sense of relief, but the night–– it’s sounds, it’s vastness all around, is not put off by that smaller circle. Thanks for the feedback, Nancy; it’s wonderful to find your comment here. 🙂 Now, my question: what is “media res.”

      Like

  9. Nan Falkner says:

    We gave each of our four boys a Swiss army knife. The knives were filled with useful gadgets for emergencies that would come in handy. Nicely done!

    Like

  10. Abhijit Ray says:

    She could light fire. She will survive the night.

    Like

  11. Lynda says:

    Your character is determined and resourceful. I see her making it through the night and feeling much relieved when morning breaks. Your story has me thinking about how she got there and wondering what will happen next!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. A very tense scene, well done. So glad she got the fire going. 🙂

    Like

  13. Sandra says:

    Well that’s the heat and light taken care of. Now she needs to go hunting for dinner, I guess. Her frustration came through well.

    Like

  14. James McEwan says:

    I wonder what she is running from, stuck out in the cold like that. A story that leaves me wondering will she survive the next day.

    Like

  15. Suspenseful, Dawn. I want to know what happens in the morning.
    I’m not very good at surviving disasters. I’d be frozen by morning. : )
    I enjoyed where you wnet with the prompt. It would have fit the photo
    prompt last week too. Have a super weekend.
    Isadora 😎

    Like

  16. lisarey1990 says:

    Was feeling her fear throughout!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Margaret says:

    That’s quite a skill to have. She’s a survivor. Good story.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Lynn Love says:

    You can feel her desperation coming through as the night falls and she’s alone in the dark. Great use of the photo prompt, Dawn

    Like

  19. Survival story… nice! 🙂

    Like

  20. amiewrites74 says:

    Nice tension build here. I sure felt relief when she lit that spark!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Just as she is about to succumb to despair the spark ignites, nice build and great take on the prompt

    Like

  22. I can really feel the relief of her managing to get the fire burning… hope the dawn bring her fresh hope.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. ceayr says:

    Why didn’t you just write her a box of matches, Dawn, save us all that stress?
    Nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. So relieved. No life without fire!

    Like

  25. I hope she makes it.
    Chilling story 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  26. We’ve got one of those spark started too. I’ve played with it a few times, but never lit a real fire. I’m glad she got hers to work.

    Liked by 1 person

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