Computer issues and shadowing Rochelle in Israel… in the same cities, but we never ran into each other. I’m back! I’m grateful for Ms. Wisoff-Fields and her hard work each week, and the photo prompt this week from Susan Eames.
This story was inspired by an old diary I recently came across, when I was in love for the first time. We dated for three years–– seventeen to nearly twenty, and as these things often go, it ended with a broken heart, and growth.
As always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback.
© Susan Eames
HE LEAVES ME HANGING
As he kissed me goodnight, I felt him leaving me. I wanted to hold on, beg him to stay; I wanted him to go and let me breathe again. It was all in that one kiss.
“Is everything okay,” I whispered, waiting for the blow.
“Sure. I’m just tired.” His eyes betrayed him. “I love you.”
I clung to the hope his lies offered.
He left me hanging, and we lingered in a bittersweet ending for weeks. When he finally said the worlds: “I think we should see other people,” I breathed a sigh. And cried for weeks.
(98 words)
* * *
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©2011-2019 All content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, I’m grateful, but please give proper credit and Link back to my work; plagiarism sucks!
TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
I liked “I felt him leaving me”. That’s so well-described
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Thanks Neil; I appreciate the feedback.
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Such searing truth! Been there, except it was I who called it off. My first love as well, ending around the same age. The yearning for things to be different from how they were. Wanting it to be just right, when it wasn’t. Very well written.
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Thanks Susan. Amazing how differently I view it now, but reading those ancient words, in my own handwriting, was really powerful.
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I could feel all the raw emotion in your piece…well done!
DB McNicol
author, traveler, shutterbug
Author Blog
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Thanks DB. I appreciate your feedback; thanks for taking the time.
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Oh yes… Feeling him leave is the worst. Especially when the lips say otherwise.
Wistful and lovely portrayal, Dawn.
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Thanks Dale… a raw blast from the past. I think we’ve all been there!
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If we’ve lived a little, for sure!
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Yes, yes, yes. xo
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Nicely done and breathing of reality. I’m sure many a young couple would see themselves in this, or at least recognize part of the dance of ending and holding on and chickening out of being honest and knowing and not knowing and …
Here’s to learning from growth.
Na’ama
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Oh it was such a vulnerable time, and comes back in a flash–– all these years later. But yes, so much growth from these moments.
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Of course if would’ve been intensely vulnerable … and as a young person, probably also experienced as devastating … And the feelings will come back attached, even if the head knows one had survived it …
Growth is good, but that doesn’t mean it came easily or comfortably …
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Truth. I so appreciate your perceptive thoughts on my piece. Thanks so much Na’ama! xo
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Dear Dawn,
This piece is stunning. You captured the inner turmoil so well…wanting to let go but wanting, at the same time, to hang on. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS I’m sorry our paths never crossed in the Land.
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Shalom, Rochelle! I hope your trip was wonderful; it sure was hot while we were there! I finally got to Masada, something I’ve really been looking forward to.
Thanks for your kind feedback; it makes my day. xo
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Heartfelt tale. I’m glad I read the prologue, as it rang a true note with me, too.
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I’m not sure anyone gets out with at least one broken heart. But hopefully we grow from it. I appreciate your feedback; thank you!
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The end of the innocence of first love. As you say, a hard lesson that allows us to grow. Well written Dawn.
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Thanks so much Lain.
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A swirling mix of emotions. To end, to continue. Yes, but no.
My go at Friday Fictioneers!
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Oh how our head and heart battle. Thanks Keith.
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This is so well described and I think we all were there at some time. It’s in the eyes, they don’t lie.
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Thanks Gabi; so very true! Still can see those eyes, all these years later.
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I was holding my breath too. Even when you knows it’s coming, it hurts.
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Thanks Tracey. We’ve all known that pain, and hopefully come out stronger.
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Tracey, I tried to find your story but the link to your site isn’t working, and I couldn’t find you on the InLinkz page. Did you write one this week?
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Good capture of a hard moment(s). So hard to say goodbye.
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Brutal. But youth is such a mix of wonder and pain.
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Dawn, you have beautifully captured the agony/ecstasy of young love. Sure brought back some memories for me!
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Thanks so much, Linda. I think we all have these memories.
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It is never an easy moment, ‘breaking up’ or ‘drifitng apart’. I liked how you managed to make seem real on the surface so peaceful, but while underneath emotional torment rules.
I remeber those ‘we can still be friends’ moments. ‘Your nice, but..’
The best one was ‘I din’t realise you were so old’ – now that made me laugh.
An interesting read.
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Thanks James. I think these transitions resonate whatever age. I appreciate your feedback.
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Very convincing young voice. I agree with some of the comments above–it takes a while to realize that you cannot wish things real.
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Oh, if wishing made it real. I’ve said that a million times. Thanks for your compassion.
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It’s such a difficult time in life, without the ups and downs of romance. Who’d be a teen again? Not me. Your story captures the angst of it all, and the conflicting needs, very powerfully.
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Thanks so much Margaret. I’m not sure if I’d choose to go back, but it all got me here. 😉
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Sometime our premonition gets the better of us. We understand, but do not want to believe.
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Yes, that wishing and hoping, that doesn’t match reality. Thanks Abhijit.
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Fantastic writing, Dawn. I felt the roller coaster of emotions and the final impact. Very well done!
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Thanks so much Brenda. Not really fiction, but it’s the story that counts. 😉 I appreciate your feedback. I am only seeing your comment now, but JUST finally got to read the weekly stories. CRAZY schedule lately, but love FF!
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Hope not too crazy. Take care! 🙂
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A good story, Dawn and so well written. I hope he grew as well as you. I started dating at seventeen and now I know we were both too young. You usually don’t realize that at the time, just years later. Suffering pain certainly hurts but helps you mature as well. —- Suzanne
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Thanks so much Suzanne. We all live and learn (I hope). Some more than others, but none of us get out without some bruises. 😉
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That’s true. —- Suzanne
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She knew long before he did. I could really feel her pain.
Well written.
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Thanks Dawn. Looking back, I know he knew… we were young, and he just couldn’t say the words. It’s never easy, but youth is so naive. I appreciate your feedback; thank you!
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I’m reminded of an old country song, “Holding On to Nothing.”
Outstanding writing, Dawn. Her anxiety and pain really came through.
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Ahh, thanks Russell; your comment means a lot to me.
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Beautifully written! The young girl’s pain really spoke to me. Youth heartbreaks are the worst.
Thanks for sharing!
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It never gets easy, but our youthful hearts break bigger I think. Thanks so much Jackie! xo
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Oh God, you got right to the heart of the ‘put down’ there. Beautifully done, and from the heart, I’d guess.
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Thanks Sandra. Yes, from the scars of that broken heart. Amazing how you can go back and be right in it… or, I can. 😉 Your positive feedback always lifts me up; I so respect and admire your writing. Thanks for stopping by!
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