Breaking News: Justin Bieber Wears Diapers


Saturday night. Saturday night live. SNL. I love it; I record and watch it almost every week. So this past Saturday I was up late and got watching the start of the show. The guest host and musical guest was Justin Bieber. Ok, so this may shock some people, but Justin just doesn’t float my boat. Musically, or in any other way. That said, I get it. I get why other females, baby females (mostly in the 11-16 year old range), are all crazy about the boy. He’s cute: in a, why-would-anyone-wear-their-hair-in-that-duck-tail-thing-in-this day-and-age, winks and pucker kind of way. I may not like love his music, but it’s poppy enough for girls to bop all over, and get all excited about his pouty stares. I get it.

I was up anyway, so I figured I’d watch the intro and a skit or two, and see if “The Biebs” could pull off a decent opening. The band begins to play and out he swaggers. He’s known for “swag,” one of the reasons that my Little Man can’t stand him. He refused to watch: “he’s just a swagger mom!”  (I’m pretty sure he and I use that word differently) Except it wasn’t swagger when Justin came out, because apparently he’s wearing a diaper these days and with his pants hanging way down, and all saggy in the butt, he could barely walk… let alone swagger. I spotted it right away (I’m sharp that way), and I blushed for the kid. I remember when my own little guys had wet their cloth diapers, the thing would get all heavy and droopy, pulling their pants down and causing them to waddle. Funny how that seems so much cuter now, than it did at the time, and odd that that waddle is now called swag. But on The Biebs, the droopy bottom just wasn’t “swaggy.”

image: Vanity Fair, the Hollywood Blog

image: Vanity Fair, the Hollywood Blog

While fairly respected sources like Vanity Fair (the Hollywood Blog) claim that it’s a new style of pants, called the harem pant, I’m too sharp for that ridiculous explanation. No one would wear pants like that on purpose. The poor kid clearly has a diaper problem, and there he was bravely going on stage, trying to give his fans what they came for. You’ve got to give the kid credit: He loves his fans (he said that over and over); and they clearly adore him. They screamed; they swooned; I don’t think those girls even noticed the diaper issue.

But I’m not a teenage girl. I’m a Mom. It’s our job to see through things and figure out what’s really going on. It’s the Mom super power. That boy might have put on a brave face, but there were other things I saw, that told me it’s not all sparkle and glitter in Justin’s world—though the girls in the SNL audience were clearly wearing a lot of that—cause that boy’s a Baby, baby, baby! In close ups, I noticed that The Biebs has chewed his manicured nails right down to stubs. That’s anxiety folks. The boy’s under a lot of pressure. When thousands of screaming girls expect you to wink constantly, pout, and make coquettish, longing looks constantly, it’s hard to relax. When you’re a big pop star, and you still have to wear diapers, that’s really awkward. You’re bound to bite your nails.

In a skit about the 1950s, a play on Grease (which came out 16 years before Justin was born), all the other “Greasers” wore traditional jeans and1950s leather jackets— but not Justin. He still wore those saggy butt, diaper pants. They looked ridiculous! As a mother I tried to remember that the boy is clearly hurting. Sure, he says As Long As You Love Me is enough, but as a mother, I know that poor boy is probably constantly wondering if people love him for himself, or whether they’ll leave when he cuts his hair. Do they love him for his twinkle for his bajillions of dollars? The poor kid must constantly wonder if he can relax and give Pull-Ups a go, or whether it will end up in Teen Beat or the Enquirer.

Biebs, please! Get some real pants boy.image: style.mtv.com

Biebs, please! Get some real pants boy.
image: style.mtv.com

All in all, it was not the worst SNL. Suddenly it was going on 1am and there I was, watching the final set. When the show started, I was ready to not enjoy Justin Bieber. I’m not a fan. I didn’t think he’d be funny, but he was. I didn’t think I’d like his music, but I did. I actually enjoyed both songs he sang, acoustically. And in the end, I found empathy for Justin, that I hadn’t anticipated. What others took for plain old ugly pants, this mother saw as a sign of other issues that boy is struggling with. Haters will be haters, but in the face of his brave front, watching him go out there and do his thing (and do it well) despite the diaper rash he inevitably has, deserves some kudos. Kudos Biebs. But please, for the love of God, grow up and get some big boy pants!

Note: Ok, I’ve gotta give it to the kid: he may wear stupid pants; I may not have liked any of his songs up ’til now, and the screaming girls in the audience were Annoying at times, but, the acoustic singing was pretty fabulous. As Long As You Love Me is, in fact, the only song I’ve ever liked of Justin’s, and personally I thought he nailed it on SNL. Both sets actually. Read this piece, and check out the performances. He rocked it, despite the pants.

Hit Like if you think Justin needs to get some big boy pants. Take minute and skip on over to the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page, and show me some Like. I’m all about sharing, so feel free to share this.

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
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33 Responses to Breaking News: Justin Bieber Wears Diapers

  1. hahaha! I think the last person to wear Harem Pants was MC Hammer in the MTV video, “You can’t touch this.” Apparently no one did ‘touch that’ and he went bankrupt and faded away. No good can come from wearing diaper pants. Also, is it me or do they make you look like a Dr. Seuss character? Poor Biebs is getting bad advice from his stylist. I guess we’d all be lucky to have that as our worst problem, right?

    Like

  2. Susan Chase-Foster says:

    J works hard and he’s young…like a teen Ken doll fresh out of the box. Nice to see your metanoia of compassion coming through.

    Like

    • It was time for a tongue in cheek, fun post my friend! No doubt, a few people are tired of my sad sack ones!! The boy was fantastic. I admit it. I just said the same thing to my boy last night: he may be a swagger, but he works really hard, he seems to have reasonable values, and he knows what to do to be successful. Man, he nailed the one song! Thanks for taking the time to read the post, and comment… I think there are some meatier ones you can check out. 😉 Great seeing you this weekend!

      Like

  3. I once had a high school graduate come to my office seeking employment, and I had to tell him I knew he wasn’t serious about working based on his ‘interview costume’ – diaper jeans and a punk band t-shirt. I actually had to explain that it was not incumbent on me to adjust to his preferences unless he was going to pay MY salary. The good news for Justin is he doesn’t have to worry about getting a job. Heck, he probably paid more for those diaper pants than I made last month.

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  4. I’m not a fan of those baggy pants either.. maybe you should send him your post.

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  5. Carrie Rubin says:

    Diapers. Heavy and drooping. Too funny. I love SNL, but I always DVR it (I love using DVR as a verb). That way, we can watch it in almost half the time because we usually skip the musical guest. Now when I watch this episode, I’ll have to watch him perform, and I’ll think of this post and laugh. 🙂

    Like

    • I always DVR it as well! Always. I’m still watching some from ages ago… but I was up and got watching this week. I have been paying since, as I got to bed at 2am and then got to bed late last night, for the Grammys. Ugh. Feeling my age for sure! I needed to tap into some funny again, it’s been a dry run lately. But admittedly, I haven’t deleted it yet, because I love that song As Long as You Love Me. He was pretty good; I admit it. 😉

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  6. I know not of this Justin Bieber of whom you speak. The last album I bought was Sinatra at the Sands. As to his pants, I like them. I could use the extra room…you know what I mean…wink, wink…yes, I mean after a big meal. HF

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  7. I also watched the episode – skeptically, I must add. But I do agree that he did a fairly good job. I feel bad for him, and, as I was watching, I was thinking what would he be like in 10-20 years. Would his star still be shining, or would it have fizzled out?
    He should leave the pants to MC Hammer. They didn’t work out for Hammer in the long run!

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  8. Love it! Diaper pants- snicker. I definitely thought of Hammer Time! And then I realized that the 80’s have been creeping back into the world a fashion. Oh no! Some things should stay in the 80’s (and early 90’s). And I wish JB would stop trying to look cool or dope, or gang, or whatever, and just be the wholesome, talented Canadian boy he is. (I don’t actually listen to much of his music, but he must be talented to have come this far).

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    • Exactly! These are fashions that weren’t all that great thennot sure they bear repeating! :-p No doubt Bieber is talented, because he keeps making the hits. It isnt’ always my kind of talent, but clearly other people like it!

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      • Anonymous says:

        You’re contradicting yourself. If this fashion was over at the 80’s, and if Justin Bieber has eyes, then he clearly doesn’t wear the diaper pants to look cool. Maybe that’s his style. He has his own ways. If he wore pants that would make you happy, and everyone else happy, then he would try to be cool. In the end of the day cool means conforming to the cool codes, which are simply codes with no real meaning with the name “cool”, which enable you to be accepted by people who see themselves as “cool” (and they need to keep their reputation at being cool so they are blocking themselves from hanging out with reasonable or honest or amazing people). If you want him to conform, then you simply can’t use “trying to be cool or dope” as an argument. It makes no sense!!!

        Like

        • Those are some good points. Thanks for visiting TFTM and for sharing your thoughts, much appreciated. Of course you probably noticed that most of this post was tongue in cheek and highly snarky, intentionally. I get that Biebs is very young, and I’m not that worried about what he wears or why. I stand by the fact that I think those pants look pretty ridiculous. There have been loads of other things written about them as well, and his own mom stated in more than one interview that she hated them as well. Look, I don’t at all think that conforming is cool, or what anyone should aspire to. I work hard to be around people who walk their own path, and I do that as much as I can… given my age and walker… but I just think those pants look like diapers. Given that the VAST majority of people who visit this post, use the search engine “Justin Bieber diapers,” I cant be that far off. I’m so glad you left this comment… I really do enjoy “hanging out with reasonable or honest or amazing people,” and your comment was very interesting. Thanks!

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  9. Teresa Manica says:

    Um sorry but i think you are mistaken. I am not a fan, but JB does not wear a diaper. His pants just werent fitted right I read somewhere that he was embarressed that his pants practically fell off on stage. Not to be rude buyou are wrong about the diaper thing. He is gay, though b

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    • Hmm. I’m not sure that you realized this entire post was written in jest. I know he doesn’t wear a diaper, but he wears the awful pants all the time. It wasn’t once. I don’t think there has been any reliable information about his sexual orientation, so I do not speculate about that. It’s none of my business. Thanks again for stopping by.

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  10. Teresa Manica says:

    And for the other times has his pants down is because he lost some weight, and like you said because of anxiety! Imagine being the BEIBS and constantly in the hotspot. He’s nervous! Trying to look good in front of every one. I feel bad for him. I dont like his music. But I do respect him because he actually writes his own music. Not many pop stars can still say that! All the while, singers and musicians are stopping writing their own songs, letting the producers do it. Let Justin have a little slack!

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    • Let him have a little slack? Don’t you think his pants are slack enough! lol. Sorry, couldn’t resist, Teresa. Welcome to TFTM. Sorry if you think I’m picking on the Biebs, but I do think his pants are ridiculous! That has nothing to do with his music, or talent, but his style… which I don’t find very edgy or great. That said, I’m older than him and maybe I just don’t get it. 😉 Apparently his mom hates his pants too! I’m really glad you stopped by my blog, and took, the time to share your thoughts. Come back again!

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  11. Jamie says:

    Funny! I hate Justin Bieber, but I clicked on your article because I wear diapers (though not with those kinds of pants!) and I was about to laugh my saggy butt off that he wore them too. Oh well, at least I can still say I don’t have anything in common with him…unless you really think he does wear them, lol.

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  12. oneintercessor says:

    I laughed at your post, then laughed with a wince at commenters who totally missed the sarcasm you so clearly wrote with. LOL Don’t you hate it when you try to be witty with someone who has NO sense of humor, and there is that uncomfortable silence as you realize they think YOU are the stupid/rude one? lol again, but smaller letters b/c I’m flashing to this happening recently to my dh and me

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m so glad you enjoyed this. Yes, it was entirely tongue in cheek, sarcastic, humorous– lacking any intention to be rude or mean. None the less, readers read what they read into something. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time!

      Like

  13. It sounds like he might be afraid to change anything about himself. I think he has management problems. I remember when Elvis updated and it didn’t bother his fans. Good post, Dawn. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

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