Friday Fictioneers 2: An Unfinished Book


Foolishly, I added the wrong link when I was putting this one up. Sorry to those of you who went back and found my older story… This is the 2nd story.

I’ve never done two stories for the weekly Friday Fictioneers’ prompt, but since posting yesterday, this story has been burning in my head. It’s a much darker approach than I usually take. Let me know what you think!   Check out the Fictioneers, here.

Feedback, positive or constructive, is always appreciated. Please leave a comment.

Copyright: Adam Ickes

Copyright: Adam Ickes

(100 words, exactly)

A young member of the search party noticed the tangled braid, buried beneath a pine and dirt blanket– then a child’s hand.  She screamed, alerting the others.

Amanda vanished from the campground while her father got firewood and her mother was at the latrines getting more water.  Upon returning, their nine year old was gone– her book lay in the dirt.

“Who would do such a thing?” the mother wailed when the child’s molested body was recovered.

The size 11 boots sat unnoticed at the visitor’s center, a smear of DNA and a single fingerprint invisible to those passing by.

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
Aside | This entry was posted in Blog, Blogging, blogs, Death, Friday Fictioneers, Life, Tales From the Motherland, Weekly Writing Challenge, Writing, Writing challenge and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

52 Responses to Friday Fictioneers 2: An Unfinished Book

  1. helenmidgley says:

    That was brilliantly crafted. So much said in so few words 🙂

    Like

  2. Robin says:

    oh, sends shivers through me, that’s for sure, since I have a nine year old….definitely well-done!

    Like

    • I know; I hesitated to write it! Somehow, this story just kept coming to me. I wrote my first FF story yesterday (a much nicer, more poignant take on the photo) and then this one kept bugging me. 😉 Thanks for taking the time to read and share you feedback.

      Like

  3. Katalina4 says:

    Yes, creepy, but so well told, which is satisfying.

    Like

  4. nmark says:

    Part of me loves that you kept getting bugged by this because now we got to share in it. But then I went back and re-read the other three for old-times’ sake.

    Like

  5. Lynda says:

    Amazingly written. This is the seed of a novel. Will you write it?

    Like

    • Thanks Lynda… so many novels to write, so little time… and so few publishers! I may play with it here on FF… I’ve had 3 parts ot the one story; I may do the same with this one too. 🙂 Thanks os much for the kind feedback; much appreciated!

      Like

  6. Truly and darkly fucked up. Loved it.

    Like

  7. znjavid says:

    Hi, I’ve nominated you for the Sisterhood Award. Congratulations! Do check out the details at http://zainabjavid.wordpress.com/2013/12/13/sisterhood-award/

    Like

  8. Oh, your ending was really haunting. I guess they missed it! Well done, Dawn.

    Like

  9. Creepy and sinister. Really haunting and disturbing (and well done), My lady.

    Like

  10. Mike Lince says:

    This excerpt from your imagination is so dark and sinister. I continue to be amazed at the depth of your imagination. I wonder what a psychoanalyst would say about this side of you. It doesn’t matter to me since I am not that guy, but remind me not to have you chair the PTA Halloween Party. 🙂 – Mike

    Like

    • Ironically, I did in fact chair the middle school Halloween party… and caused a bit of a ruffling of feathers. 😉 My therapist knows me pretty well… but maybe I’ll send him this one, and see what he says. 😉 Thanks Mike!

      Like

  11. So dark … such a great beginning from a sinister end.

    Like

    • Hmm, this is so strange! Rochelle told me I had the wrong link up… so I just changed it. (Changing my position in the queue too!)… but clearly you found the right story. Not sure why those boots took me there, but this story was in my head almost as soon as I posted the lighter one. Thanks for reading both, Bjrn!

      Like

  12. Very dark.But more true than we care to accept.

    Like

    • Welcome to Tales From the Motherland, Patrick. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. I hope you’ll check out other posts, and let me know what you think. Sadly, this is more true than we wish it to be… I wrote 2 stories this week. Mine are not generally “dark,” but this one followed me around, until I wrote it. 😉

      Like

  13. Dear Dawn,

    A parent’s worst nightmare well crafted. .

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  14. I love when people DARE ME to write a comment. 😉 😉 😉
    I’ve got to agree like others have stated its very foreboding story — a nightmare no parent would ever want to experience. If I’d written this I’d have made one change. I’d have switched your first and second paragraphs, since I feel the time sequence would be better.
    So I’ve taken your dare, wrote my comment and even dared to tell you something which needs to be changed. 😀 😀 😀
    Now you can get back at me by leaving me your comment. I’m #80 and #81 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Like

    • It’s my pleasure to get to your story too! I try to read them all… but many don’t reciprocate. I try to keep it up anyway. Rough weekend, put me behind, but I could use some reading to distract me right now.

      Love a gal who takes a dare; I am one too! I thought about switching the paragraphs, but liked starting with the shock, and working backward. I absolutely love feedback, especially constructive or thoughtful feedback. Thanks for the suggestion; I see your point. I’m a fairly A-symetric girl, so this twisting of time lines is good for me… for now. I’ll give it some more thought though. Thanks for taking the time; much appreciated! Now I’m off to check out our stories. I wrote 2 this week too! So, go read my other… I dare you! 😉 I think it’s 28 or something. It’s a sequel. I don’t usually write 2, and I don’t do sequels… but that story has had a history and a pull. Thanks again! 😀

      Like

  15. atrm61 says:

    Poor girl and such a trauma for the parents!One shudders at the thought of such beasts moving around unnoticed!A true nightmare that one won’t wish even on one’s enemies!Excellent writing Dawn:-)

    Like

  16. JackieP says:

    That was dark. And terrifying, but very good writing. You could feel the strong emotions in every word.

    Like

  17. Dawn, I’ve now made it to all the stories and how dare you leave me with this as the last one??? I’d just finished and then realized I’d missed your second one. Very difficult story but well-written.

    janet

    Like

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