The Grass is Always Greener on Someone Else’s Head… or is it?


freshly-pressed-circle** Update:  This was post was originally published in August 2011. I had been blogging for six weeks, and it was Freshly Pressed. I had no idea what that meant at the time, I didn’t even realize it had been FP’ed for a full day!  Boy have things changed! Now I covet that golden boy! When I first published this post, I had no idea how to add photos; I didn’t know how to add links; I was clueless. Clueless. There were so many comments asking for photos, but I didn’t know how.  So, I’ve updated the post.  In this reblog, I’ve added some photos, fixed a few typos and put in links.

In August 2011,  I think I had five followers (really), and had not even told many of my friends and family that I was blogging. Now, I’m quickly approaching 2,000 followers and I’m in my groove. I have goals for 2014 that are much bigger than anything I imagined then. But this post got me going. There were hundreds of comments. Women from all over shared their stories about hair, in the comment section. Some of them are really amazing, and worth reading! Check them out, below the post. Add your own thoughts.  In addition, my daughter cut her long hair into a short “bob.” It’s short and sassy and suits her perfectly. Personally, I think she looks great however she wears it!  Here’s The Grass is Always Greener, updated and improved.

The Grass is Always Greener on Someone Else’s Head… Or is it?

Put a hat on it...

Put a hat on it…

What is it with women that we are forever coloring our hair, curling it, ironing it, extending it, feathering (oh those poor naked birds!) it, etc… you get the picture. I have a dear friend who for the 24 years I’ve known her has been trying to undo the curls she naturally  has. I for one, have always coveted her thick head of curls!  When she would fall in the pool and come out horrified that her hair was rapidly winding up into tight coils, I only wanted to have that hair for myself. Now that she can have it chemically straightened, she swims without fear and we laugh about this old drama. I love her straight hair, because ultimately I love HER.  Still it always struck me that she and I could see her hair so differently, when we agree on so many other things.

I have only colored my hair once in my life. I had fine blond(er) highlights put in to see what it was like to be in the “tribe.” I got it in my head that getting your hair colored was a right of passage of sorts (it really is), and that just once I wanted to share the ritual. I was 42.  I am pretty sure that most of the women I know color theirs, though for years and years, I always assumed that the hair color I saw, was the color that naturally grew in. Well in to my 40s, I naively believed this and friends would laugh at me when I would finally notice “roots” or figured out that their blond was not nature made. I still assume that most people’s color is natural, unless I can absolutely see something different than the pink, deep purple, blond, brunette, orange, etc that’s on top, coming in at the base. Even then, I often give the benefit of doubt.

My high school graduation picture

My high school graduation picture

I grew up with bright red hair… a blessing and a curse in my youth. My gym teacher (and some others) called me “Carrot top” while others called me “Red;” I hated it.  All through college, when it was long and I suppose more striking, total strangers would come up to me and just touch my hair. It drove my husband nuts for years; while I had come to think people just did that. When I went to the Phil Donahue show (years and years and years ago), the show aired with Phil, with his striking white mop of hair, stroking my red hair… friends teased me for years about it!  I had long made peace with my hair by then… I am happy to be a red-head, even as it fades to darker auburn with increasingly visible white and silver streaks.  For now, I will go on record to say: I do not plan to ever color it again.

IMG_7698 - Version 3I haven’t owned a comb or brush for 15 yrs and will only get hair cuts/styles that require sleep, washing, and nothing else. I’m lazy, and have let go of that one vanity… for the most part. I don’t worry about it and I often don’t do anything to it until it’s time to wash it again. For that, I feel very fortunate and grateful. I have lots of friends who have to invest loads more effort.  My good friend C, who cuts it, has told me over and over:  “Yes, you could have that style, if you’re willing to spend a few minutes with a flat iron, or if you’re willing to use some more ‘product’, or blow it out…” Instead, she just laughs at me and ends up doing variations of the same cut, as I can’t bring myself to put in the effort.  Nonetheless, some days I do wish it was curlier, longer, thicker… like that woman’s or that one, or the one over there.

When I told my daughter, Principessa,  what I was writing about here, she shared that she had once worn a hijab for several days, in support of some Muslim friends at college. She told me that she found it very eye opening, though her professors gave her odd looks. Wearing the hijab, she realized just how much energy, physically and spiritually, she puts in to her hair each day. “The focus,” she said, “was suddenly only on my personality, me… not as much on my looks. It was so freeing!”

Graduation day (2012). My beautiful girl and her beautiful hair. I straightened mine for the day.

Graduation day (2012). My beautiful girl and her beautiful hair. I straightened mine for the day.

My daughter has gorgeous, long, wavy hair, that has been changing from the blond of her childhood to the darker color it will probably be as an adult.  She asks me: “Mom, is my hair getting darker?” with a worried expression.  “Yes, it’s gorgeous,” I say. I look at her and simply see beautiful hair, but I understand that she is wondering if it might not be nicer wavier, or straighter, thicker or blonder again. Ironically, that’s just it:  all those other heads out here are wishing to be other heads. While each of us admires someone else’s locks, that someone is most likely wishing for yours, or yours or yours… or mine.  We may not openly say I wish I had your husband, your house, your figure, your career, your life… but so many women say: “Oh I would kill for your hair.”

It’s rare to hear a woman say: I love my hair.  For now, I still covet my neighbor’s other stuff; I have plenty of insecurities to work through.  However, when it comes to my hair I think I’ll strike out into bold territory here: I love my hair.  On “bad hair days” I may occasionally dream of longer, curlier, whatever hair,  but for the foreseeable future, I’m sticking with this head.

Look at that curl! Yeehaw!

Look at that curl! Yeehaw!

Question:  Are you happy with your hair? What would you change? What do you like?  Make a comment and share your thoughts. If you liked this post, hit Like and help spread the word with the Share button.

*     *    *

What do I want? I’d love to see my Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I try to be brief.  Most importantly, if you like a post hit Like, and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think.  Follow along; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  © 2014 Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
This entry was posted in Beauty, Honest observations on many things, Humor, Musings, Parenting, Women's issues and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

287 Responses to The Grass is Always Greener on Someone Else’s Head… or is it?

  1. Thanks for sharing! I totally understand that as I had it for years in college. I mostly pulled eyebrows and eye lashes out. I’d get so stressed about things and end up with no eyebrows or lashes! It took me a long time to stop, but I remember how embarrassed and foolish I felt when I did it. I hope you’re able to work this out too; it’s such a relief when you don’t have to hide it anymore. Thank you for checking out my blog and for sharing such a painful, personal thing. I hear you. Hope you’ll check back.

    Like

  2. Who?? Yes, I may well ask! Glad to hear you have more, not less! Thanks for checking in and I hope you’ll watch for new posts.

    Like

  3. Thank you! I didn’t even know I had been… so very exciting to wake up to this today!! Thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to comment. Hope you’ll check back.

    Like

  4. Bravo for you! My point is really about liking your hair whether or not you color, straighten, curl, etc… it’s when you do those things because you don’t like it that strikes me. Lucky you that you have so many options and can enjoy them all! What a good place to live. 🙂 Thanks so much for checking out my blog and commenting. I hope you’ll check back.

    Like

  5. annedearle says:

    I am lucky enough to have very thick hair. But what I would really like is to have very fine hair that swings as you walk.I suppose we are never satisfied.

    Like

    • I always wanted hair that swung too… I haven’t been willing to grow it that long for years now! I’m satisfied now, and hope to hold on to that! 🙂 Thanks for checking out my blog and hope you’ll check back for future posts.

      Like

  6. Bravo! It’s such a relief when you can really appreciate your own hair. Maybe it will change and you’ll get to try a whole new look, with the waves! Thanks for checking out my post; I hope you’ll come back for more!

    Like

  7. The static thing gets the best of us Rayme! Maybe it’s sexier than you realize? Thanks for checking out my blog and taking the time to comment. Hope you’ll check back!

    Like

  8. No doubt giving it a break from the dye might help with the falling out… when mine was longer, I lost more. Now I still find stray ones in the sink, but not as much! Thanks so much for checking out my blog. Hope you’ll stop back.

    Like

  9. Bravo! Hold that thought/feeling! Hold it tight. 🙂 Maybe people don’t feel comfortable saying they like themselves because others might call them vain? I don’t know, but it seems a messy web we women weave! Thanks for checking my blog Sara and I hope you’ll come back.

    Like

  10. Lucky you Mr Bricks! Way to dig your own head. Thanks for checking out my blog; stop back!

    Like

  11. Subhash says:

    Good one!! 😀

    Like

  12. I’m not going to try and top that; you win! 🙂 You had me at Frog Fur!! I have 3 kids and despite my own red hair, not a redhead in the bunch. I’m hoping for little red headed grandchildren… in the distant future! Thanks for checking in; I hope you’ll come back.

    Like

  13. Chiryuu says:

    I feel compelled to comment because this is such a good post and something that I rarely talk about! I used to covet straight hair, my mom would always say, “You are so unfortunate to inherit my genes.” And I believed her for the longest time. It wasn’t until college that I started eating organic foods that I began to think about other healthy things for my body.

    Your hair is one of the beauty points; and I think this is very true. I like your story about the hijab. I also think hair is a source of power at times, as I had a dream about having to shave my head or die. I decided to shave all of my hair, and when I woke up, I was terrified. I think it meant a loss of self… but of course dreams are personal interpretations. This reminds me Buddhist nuns in ancient China shave off all their hair upon initiation.

    That being said, I am mostly happy with my hair now, at times I find it beautiful and lucky to have. For the past couple of years, I also thought about ways I can save time, maintain good hair, but not put in so much effort. I feel that a lot of people who do not have curly hair realize how much maintenance it is to keep it looking beautiful. Brushing hair is a must everyday, and to keep it from frizzing (because the strands are much thinner than straight hair), you have to apply some kind of oil or serum. I prefer natural products, since I feel that healthy hair in the long run is better than good hair in the short term. On the other hand, my mom is a cosmetologist. She hasn’t come to terms with her own hair and straightens it everyday. This has a huge negative effect, as it is always dry… Well, she is an example for me in many ways.

    Like

    • Wow! It’s amazing how the things we say to our children sink in and we carry that around all of our lives! IF your mom had liked her hair, she would’ve said “you’re so lucky” and everything might have been different? My mom told me I had thick ankles and I was convinced my ankles were ugly. I hate to think what my own daughter will remember me saying! ugh. Thank you so much for checking out my post and taking the time to share all of your thoughts. I have really enjoyed reading so many cool feedbacks. Hope you’ll stop back in for future posts. : )

      Like

  14. Christina says:

    It could be worse – you could be bald:

    http://www.bofads.com/stories/bald.htm

    Like

  15. jessicaber says:

    My 6 year old has red hair. He is the only child of my 2 that I have custody off.

    Like

    • I have 3 blondes who are turning brunette as they get older. I hope you are able to at least spend time with your other child? That is a hard thing! Thanks for checking in again Jessica. With your beautiful curls, I hope you know how pretty it looks. Take care and check out some of the older posts, for a laugh.

      Like

  16. Hopefully your husband will get on board with the new look and you can both enjoy it. 🙂 I think it’s hard with trying new things and then all the fixing to help the change. Thanks for checking out the blog; hope you’ll stop back.

    Like

  17. But then there are all those women who totally envy your hair! It’s a slippery slope, right? Glad you enjoyed the post; hope you check back.

    Like

  18. Enjoyed your post! I’ve always liked my hair and I’ve run the gamut from those short pixie cuts as a child to long, long hair as a teen, to the layered shag of the 70’s, permed, not-permed, very short, medium length bob. I’ve been all over the map just because I liked change!

    Started coloring it to cover the gray a few years ago and now, I’m regretting that. Once you start covering up that gray, you have to continue or look quite awful with your half gray-half brown hair. If my hair would all turn white, I’d embrace that.

    All of this to say, I’m with you. The less time I have to spend on my hair, the better! I just let my hair stylist talk me into a new do and I’m already finding it takes way too much time. I’m thinking that pixie cut my mother always made me get every summer wasn’t such a bad idea!

    Like

  19. kellycosby says:

    Even though I have plenty of bad hair days and sometimes wish my hair was silkier and shinier, or that when I wore it curly it always curled in the same predictable way, I have grown to accept it and love it. Besides, hair isn’t going to be the most important thing in my life, and as I get older, it won’t necessarily get any better — I better enjoy it while I’m still young!

    Like

  20. I really enjoyed this post. I love my hair and have just about the same no muss no fuss routine. I feel lucky to have the straight silky black Asian hair from my Japanese lineage, but with a very small amount of a wave from my Italian background. My half-sister has beautiful red curly hair and growing up she was often compared to little Orphan Annie. So, I have seen those reactions about red heads. Its just hair, but people get so amazed sometimes!

    Like

  21. Pingback: Happy Hair « jakennicksmomma

  22. thanks! Appreciate you checking it out.

    Like

  23. Thanks Addy! It was total surprise that I missed yesterday, so was stunned to see today! It’s been fun reading all the feedback; I really appreciate all the wonderful comments. Hope you’ll check back!

    Like

  24. Pingback: Hair, Mythology and Magic « musings of a kitchen witch

  25. This is such a cool post. I feel like it could be lifted in essentially its current form to answer this question on Quora and could get you even more distribution: http://www.quora.com/Why-do-women-care-about-their-hair-so-much

    Let me know if I can help,
    Nick

    Like

  26. Chelsea says:

    I have thick, curly dark brown hair, throughout highschool I would pull it back if I didn’t take the hour to straighten it in the morning. I would never go out with my hair curly, I felt it was frizzy and gross.

    For the past few months I have finally been comfortable enough wearing it completely down and curly, and maybe a little frizzy too. I get complimented on my hair everywhere I go.

    I love my hair — it only took me 26 years!!!

    Like

    • You’re way ahead of my Chelsea! It took me about 40 years! 🙂 Hold on to that. There are so many other things to bring us down, so embrace the things that make you happy! thanks for checking in and taking the time to comment. Hope you’ll check back.

      Like

  27. yagerbabies says:

    What a great idea! She does love her hair, but at 4 she thinks that beautiful movie Tangled (a rupunzel type story) is all about her! I’ll keep that in mind if she ever does decide to cut it. Brilliant! 😀 (I’ll be back for updates 😉 )

    Like

  28. sassytt says:

    I finally love my hair. As an African-American 42 yr old woman I could go on and on about all the things we do with our hair, most of it not healthy for the hair. I finally discovered that going natural and learning to work with what I had has made me so much happier. Great post really enjoyed it.

    Like

    • Bravo for you… I really think that it would be great if everyone just accepted their hair, the way it is… but ethnically and culturally, isn’t it all that more important to really accept where you are coming from and not try to make it fit some model that doesn’t fit? However, it’s every ethnicity that fights this one, right? Maybe THAT is the tie that binds? thanks for checking out my blog and sending some feedback. I have really enjoyed reading these responses! Hope you’ll check back.

      Like

  29. Very nice blog you got cheer!

    Like

  30. becca says:

    i hate my thin hair!! i’m in my early twenties and i can already foresee my hair thinning out… i’m half korean and mad i don’t have my asian family’s hair… i envy my sister who managed to get that part… also wish i had a more unique color… it’s not really dark like my mom’s, but not as light as my dad’s… i’ve never colored my hair, partly because i feel that it would cause my hair irreparable damage!!! i have permed it before, and I have to say, i loved the initial curls, and it was so easy to manage!! never had to put an iron to my head, just take a shower, some curling gel for support and BAM!! ready!! growing up mostly in korea i never really saw any other color than black or brown (or the occasional copper color that was popular back then…), honestly love red hair!! my roomie in college had gorgeous, curly red hair that i used to tell her she should lend me 🙂

    Like

  31. neen says:

    This blog post is the story of my hair as well 🙂 I love my golden brown hair and I’ve never highlighted/colored it! Sometimes people think I must have highlights, but it’s really just the summer sun leaving its mark on my wavy hair. I often wish my hair would be thicker and less fine, but your blog post adds to my realization that I love my hair the way it is, and I wouldn’t want to trade with anyone else.

    Like

  32. Maryanne says:

    Love my wavy hair, the grey colour not so much! Not ready to embrace the grey quite yet. Just as I don’t want to embrace mustache and chin hairs that run amok after 40!
    I sure do envy the red hair of my friends. They all have great hair colour well into later life (60s and beyond)!

    Like

  33. I’m afraid I’m one of those people that always changes my hair. It’s not so much that I don’t like my hair, I just like playing around with it! I do admit to straightening it some and coloring it often though but it’s more because I get bored with it and want to change it! I started off a dirty blonde, went red, went brunette, went back to blonde, went to burgundy and now I’m back at being a red head. I must confess I’m a bit jealous of your hair! I’ve always wanted to be a natural ginger! 🙂

    Like

    • There’s NOTHING to apologize for if it makes you happy! THAT is the point. If you like doing the colors and styles, then have fun. It’s the times you feel compelled to do it that you need to just be ok with whatever YOu like and not what you think others expect. Thanks for reading my post; hope you’ll check back.

      Like

      • That is true! Most of the time my friends think I’m crazy for doing it anyways (though they always end up liking it!) so I’m definitely not doing it to impress anyone! 🙂 And I definitely will! I enjoyed this post immensely!

        Like

  34. Um to be honest not all the time. I love the colour but sometimes I think my dark brown hair could use a boost of “life”. I find it difficult to tame my coily treases sometimes and opt for hair extensions on the worst days. Those become addictive after a while. So buyer beware. Great post!

    Like

  35. jessicaber says:

    With my Trichotillamania which I have had spells of in 1991- 1999 and then again in 2005 -2011 (14 years of my 36 year life span) even when my head has a bald spot on it I still do not feel like some one’s hair is better than my own. Even though I know too that my hair quality has been a lot better at times. Even though each strand of my hair is extreemly course now and I have white hairs framing my face and laced in through out my hair, that I want to pull out more than any thing. It has something for me to do with the scriptures and how they claim “that God will not allow for one hair on our head to be hurt”. When I am pulling my hairs out, even just because they are white I feel like some one else is making my arms and hands and fingers do it, so I believe that God will return my hair to a quality that I love.

    Like

    • I think it will be healthier hair if you can take care of it and find a way to work through this. If God gave you the nice hair, then it is your responsibility to care for it, not for God to replace it. I think. As I told you, I too dealt with that and it took a few years to really be past it. Once I was, it was such a relief to not be picking at myself! Work on how you feel and the other may resolve. Thanks for all your thoughts!

      Like

  36. karmajane says:

    I loved your post! I’m at peace with my hair now, but it has taken me many years to get here. I started getting highlights when I was 17 and have been a blonde, a brunette and a red head over the years. Now that the gray has crept in, I will probably color my hair until I’m 70!

    Like

  37. I can absolutely relate to this. I don’t comb my hair very often or do very much to it yet it seems very full and healthy. Most of the girls my age that i know are deep into weaves and constantly visit the hair salon. What most of them fail to realize is over treating is just as bad as under treating.I say giving your hair to nature is the best way to go.

    Like

    • Totally agree with you! There’s little chance of not doing some damage to your hair with chemicals. Still, if it works for someone, that is their choice. Good for you for taking the easier, more natural route! Thanks for reading and hope you’ll check out some of the other posts.

      Like

  38. No combs or hairbrushes! Ah, I couldn’t survive… but, my hair is down to my waist. As you mentioned about your red hair, it’s a curse and a blessing, except that I could change mine at anytime at the drop of a hat. I don’t color my hair, but I do use Sun-In. It’s basically lemon juice that lightens your hair in the sun (or under a blow-drier). It’s not really out of necessity, or even desire; my mother has been doing it to me ever since I was 2, so I just never stopped. Old habits die hard. Great post!

    Like

    • Two??? wow, that’s really striking to me! that your mom thought coloring your hair (sun in) was ok for a 2 yr old… great that you are ok with that, but amazing to me! If it’s not out of desire, why keep doing it? IF you like your hair that way, then that’s the reason. Either way, I really appreciate that you took the time to write this comment and check out my blog….

      Like

  39. Sally says:

    Naturally my hair is dirty blonde, thick and only wavy on humid days. My older sister has fine blonde hair and my younger sister has curly light brown hair. I got the mix I guess. Mine is decent, because I can make it curly or straight but I hate the color. I keep it colored a light copper red and everyone thinks it’s my natural. I wish it was. Would save me a lot of money in the long run.

    I have said so many times that I wish that we only had wigs and not hair. It would be so great to just wake up and decide to have curly brown and the next day short, straight black. That’s my hope for future technology. lol

    Like

    • Interesting idea! For now, I’m going with the fact that I like mine and you you seem ok with yours. Let the rest go and be happy that you don’t have to actually wear an itchy wig. 🙂 thanks so much for commenting and taking the time to read this blog!

      Like

  40. jnkhann09 says:

    I’ve had low, low self-esteem for YEARS. My wonderful husband is slowly helping me out of that. I’ve learned to love my hair, It’s plain brown, nothing special, down to my back. My only problem is that it’s frizzy and nothing seems to keep it under control. But hey, that’s how God made me, and my husband loves it, so why should I worry?

    Like

  41. Hassaan says:

    wonderfull post.. thumbs up

    Like

  42. lionsxu says:

    colour hair was fasion for many years.

    Like

  43. I love my hair! I’ve had locs since I was 16 and I’m 24 now. I’ve dyed my hair–orange highlights, black, fire engine red and once got it done by a professional as an orange-brown. It was an absolute mistake to ever bleach my hair by myself. It took two applications of stuff! It’s still blonde at the bottom, an orange brown (from dying it a second time) and my natural color. Yep, three colors! Somehow though, I got used it to it.. Not sure I’ll ever cut the bleached part as much as it’s not my favorite. But, it’s always a reminder that a person should always go to a professional to dye their hair, always!

    Image is something else isn’t? Thanks for sharing and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    Like

    • Hey Khadijah, Ironic, huh? I look at your locs and envy them. I think they really only work well (for the most part) on African American heads, but I envy that. Love your picture: the big smile and cool locs. Funny that even the locs take all that work and can cause just as much headache as the straightening, curling and coloring so many others are writing about here. Hair, it just levels the playing field for women. We share the same misery boat sometimes. 🙂 Thanks for reading the post. Being picked was just amazing… now I’m trying to catch up with it! Hope you’ll check back.

      Like

  44. *orange high lights–that was when my hair was permed and it was done by a professional! So that’s two times!

    Like

  45. Yes, the grass is always greener. I’m a redhead and wrote about hair:
    http://cyclingrandma.wordpress.com/2011/06/29/summer-frizz-a-curly-haired-lament/
    love to have you subscribe and comment!

    Like

    • Right now I’m traveling and have been struggling w/finding any computer time at all… did not anticipate Fresh pressed or all these wonderful comments! Thanks so much for reading this post and I’ll check out yours when I get home and can get some time. : )

      Like

  46. mbcoudal says:

    Great post! I love my hair too. After having kids, it got more wave. I love that that you don’t own a comb or brush. I have blogged about hair too, (about not shampooing everyday as I used to: http://runningaground.wordpress.com/2011/01/05/shampooing-everyday-is-not-necessary/ )

    Like

  47. justalittlelostinlove says:

    At the moment, I’m growing my hair out … For years, my mother forced me to cut it, and I always wanted it long because I used to have it long when I was little … So, during those years, I can easily admit enviously staring at the other girl’s long hair and wish mine could be like that.
    Now, I’m older and it’s my decision, and I’m choosing long hair, but even as it grows, I love it! I think it’s something to do with the fact that I get to choose what it looks like, and how and when it gets cut. So, nowadays, I don’t wish for anyone else’s hair! I love mine, thick, black and brown (naturally), curls to die for!!!!

    Like

  48. the6thmoon says:

    I like my hair I play with my hair but I HATE washing my hair!

    Like

  49. kymlucas says:

    Thanks for a great post. I’m with you on your hair care perspective. I once had a friend tell me, “Kym, your hair could look so good if you’d just do something with it.” But, that was the point. I don’t want to have to do something with it. So, for years I’ve worn it long — easy to style and, in the long run, less time spent caring for it.

    The funny thing is, right now I’m bald — the result of chem treatments. I won’t say that I love the way I look but, in the grand scheme of things, it could be much worse. I don’t look near as bad as I would have expected and the time I spend in the shower has been cut in half.

    And, of course I’m alive to comment about this, which is what really matters.

    Like

    • YES Kym! Comments like yours and few others really put it in perspective right! Interesting that even friends feel ok telling us we WOULD look good if only… Glad you took the path that worked for you and not someone else! Hope your health stays good and you come back to read more. Thanks for taking the time.

      Like

  50. Thanks for reading my blog; so glad it made you smile.

    Like

  51. yamata says:

    I want my hair black…

    Like

  52. honda says:

    It’s really good article

    Like

  53. changdeb says:

    i’m ok with my hair, thank you, though the hair color i love the most is dark red or dark bronze (not sure whether the terms are right, i’m asian, with black hair ;p). my only wish is that my hair will still thick when i’m old (which will not the case if the falling speed still at current level lol), and that i will have a shiny white hair then, like that shiny curly white hair of an old beautiful woman i knew (without he curl in my case ;p). but you’re right about so many women here in my country: asian people looks awful in blonde hair, yet they colored it anyway!

    Like

    • I guess everyone wants to look different and hair seems the easiest way, whether it’s here or in Asia. I didn’t say anything about Asians looking bad as blondes though. I hope you didn’t get that out of my post? Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. : )

      Like

  54. I wish my hair would be just completely straight. It looks so much better that way. My hair is incredibily thick and it’s very unappealing. I have naturally curly hair, but they aren’t tight enough for people to find them striking. I hate it. Completely hate it. Your post is 100% accurate! Very nicely done! 😀

    Like

  55. transcall says:

    always love girls with hijab. They always look georgeous. Great post by the way. 🙂

    Like

  56. oh no, not the mojo!! It can’t be in the hair, is it? I’ll have to check that out, after I read all these comments… pretty daunting right now! Thank you so much for checking out my blog!

    Like

  57. Thanks for reading the blog! I just was a guest on Donahue, but had a question and he picked me. The hair part was not part of the script! 🙂

    Like

  58. That does seem to be the way! Thanks for the well wishes and for checking out my blog… it was a delightful and totally unreal surprise! Reading all the comments is icing.

    Like

  59. Did it stop you from going to the hairdresser’s? Love the stories people tell about their hair! 🙂 Thanks for stopping in Sannekurz! I appreciate all the time people have taken.

    Like

  60. I do know what you mean! Thanks for checking out my blog. 🙂

    Like

  61. ChaseK8 says:

    I understand completely the love of another’s hair. I was born with “white blonde” Village of the Damned hair and for a long time I longed for something different. My hair is poker straight and won’t hold a curl. I spent much of my young life, cutting, coloring and attempting to curl it in the hopes of having someone else’s hair. Yet there were women spending hundreds of dollars attempting to get hair like mine.
    Now with age I have come to love and accept my hair. I am a lot like you, I don’t like styles that require a lot of maintenance and do nothing more than throw it up in a bun, or ponytail at the most between washes. I made the recent mistake of adding layers and I now have to live with them until they grow out, they require more up-keep than I care to maintain.
    I will boldly shout out as well that I love my hair, though it took years to reach this point. Like everything else in life that we long to change, acceptance of ourselves is on of the biggest challenges we face in life.

    Like

  62. I love my hair … and all the crazy things I can make it do. I love that I can cut it weird, dye it weird, attach weird things to it and, after some time, it will come back in the same way I was born with: blonde, plain, and too thick for my own damn good.

    Like

  63. jessicaber says:

    Yes. It is stopping me from going to the hairdressers right now. I need a trim. I have the income and the time to get a hair cut and it always makes me feel better. Plus I have grey hair that I am dying for them to dye out. I have a foggy little bladish area that is about as big as the oval if I pinch my thumb and my for finger together, that only my 6 year old and I see when we are home alone.

    Like

    • jessicaber says:

      Thanks to your blog though I found a woman who was a sufferer of thi same disease for 14 years who is offering help and a book and talks honestly about it. I have never come acrossed that before!. I typed in Trichotillomania + Jessica Bernard under search to see if anything would come up. I was curious since I had typed openly to you about it and I found her. Thank you so much. This disease it feels like some one else is controlling your arms and hands like a puppet (and fingers). It ended my marriage and make it impossible for me to feel at times.

      Like

      • Jessica, I really feel for you. I’m sorry that things have been so hard, but I really hope you find help with this. If it ended your marriage and causes you so much pain, it is not worth continuing. Hopefully the book and help will bring a solution. Wishing you some peace from this! dawn

        Like

  64. saramcdaniel says:

    I wish I could say that I don’t do have to do anything to my hair, but it’s so fine that it would lay flat to my head! I color/highlight simply for the added volume. I completely agree with the low maintenance cuts – every time I see someone with a cute style I would love, I first think about how much time would be required to make it look that way every morning 🙂

    Like

  65. Ahmed says:

    Cool post… I’ve got no hair… So any hair at all looks greener to me 😛

    Like

  66. menu78 says:

    Yes, I love my hair too! Although it took me years to finally love it! I have lovely big curls and spent my early 20s straightening my hair. Now I just use a curling cream to stop the frizz and use a diffuser to blow dry my hair! Effortless, amazing hair and everyone around me thinks so too!

    Wish I had appreciated it a long time ago!

    Like

  67. While I never seem to be thrilled with my current hair style, I do seem to be happiest when I see photos of myself two or three hairstyles ago. Then I think, hmmm…maybe my current hairstyle isn’t so shabby after all. Then I rethink, take a photo and decide to wait another year or two to cast my final vote.

    Loved your post. Made me smile.

    Like

  68. I used to be picky about my hair, until I lost it all to chemo 5 years ago. Now I just love whatever is up there at the moment! You can click on my “about” page to see my “pre-chemo mohawk”.

    I was hoping to see a picture of your hair!

    Like

    • Well Savvy, I bowed under pressure and just posted a picture. You can check it. I’m kind of glad I hadn’t thought of it initially, as I don’t think I could have handled that many people seeing it! I am grateful to you and all the other readers though. I’ve had several people who went thru’ chemo share comments. It really put it all in perspective for sure! I hope your health is good now and you maintain the well comfort you have with your hair, just as it is. I’ll check out the picture. 🙂

      Like

  69. fshade says:

    I like keeping my hair natural even though it’s almost completely grey. However, I need to visit the hair dresser seasonally, to either braid, fix weave-on or put it in corn-roll, because, I can not manage the tough texture of my African hair I seriously dread every visit to the saloon, I wish I can simply wash, comb or brush and get on with my day.

    Like

    • I think that it’s amazing that the issue of hair crosses all ethnicities and cultures! Found Chris Rocks movie, Good Hair, very compelling and interesting. It’s a subject that has always interested me. Thanks so much for reading this post and sharing your thoughts. I hope you’ll check out some other posts here.

      Like

  70. telltaletraveler says:

    My mother has thick, black hair, thanks to her Italian heritage. I, unfortunately, inherited my dad’s thin, colorless locks. Really, my hair is a non-color. Needless to say, I have never liked my hair, and always longed for the hair genes my mom has. My daughter was just born 4 months ago, and all throughout my pregnancy I was hoping she’d have my husband’s dark, curly mane—and she does!!!
    Thanks for such a funny post. You made me giggle!

    Like

    • Makes me smile to know I made you giggle! Glad it all worked out w/your daughter’s hair, but no doubt, you would have loved any hair she had! It just works that way. We’re much harder on ourselves than others! Thanks for reading. Hope you’ll check out other posts.

      Like

  71. I loved this!

    I used to keep my hair really short also; maintain a look that only required me to wake up and leave.

    I used to experiment with highlights and lowlights and overall dyes in my hair also. In my sophomore year of college, I died the ends of my hair a hot pink …needless to say, mom flipped out and made me chop it off. Unfortunately, the dye ran higher up than I thought, and I had to get almost all of my hair chopped off. I was so sad that since that day almost 4 years ago I’ve been growing it out.

    I love my hair now! The longer length gives me way more versatility than I thought short hair did. It is slightly more to maintain, but it’s totally worth it! 🙂

    Like

  72. AniToddSmith says:

    Wow what a fun read. I am an African-American female and for years I used chemical relaxers to straighten my hair. My biggest hang-up was my obsession with length because I thought it looked glamorous, and the boys liked it of course.

    Eleven years ago I did away with the relaxers and chose to care for my hair naturally and I LOVE it. I’ve always had a distinct natural curl pattern but it took some time to find the right products and to establish effective hair care techniques. Because of this my hair is unbelievably low maintenance and most of all healthy. It’s hard to believe I tortured myself for hours with curling irons, blow dryers, straightening combs and sleeping with rollers.

    I would never go back to straightening it. I think I get more compliments now than when I did prior to having the relaxers. Now it has life, it has energy and I could care less about the length. Now, when I “trim” my hair, I often lob it off with reckless abandon.

    The irony however is that now my silver hairs are coming in, I’ll be darn if those rascals aren’t coming in straight!

    Like

    • This is a fun response Ani! Love your observations and thoughts; I’ll have to check out your blog too! I was just telling another person that I find it interesting that this subject touches women across ethnic groups and cultures. Very interesting to read all the responses! Try to love the rascal grays too! they have something to say no doubt, as well. 🙂 thanks so much for reading my post and sending such a fun response. I hope you’ll check out other posts and let me know what you think.

      Like

  73. Carolyn says:

    I understand! I’m still a college student, but I’ve already decided I don’t think I want to color my hair again. A friend darkened my–as my aunt lovingly terms it–dirty dishwater blond hair to a mahogany brown about 2 years ago. Then I lightened it 3 months later, and currently am looking forward to a very freeing mop cut, as my hair is almost mid-back and half-dyed, half-natural.
    You make a wonderful point about being content. We so envy every other woman’s hair on earth, and guess what: she is doing the same, maybe even wanting my hair! Learning to be content with my [insert any noun here!] is truly a challenge, but an important lesson anyway.
    Thanks for your writing. It’s lovely!

    Like

    • Ouch! Shame on your aunt for such a description…I thought dirty blond was odd enough! Glad you see it differently, it’s hard place to get to but so nice when you do. Thanks for the compliment and positive feedback. Great for my ego! 🙂 Hope you’ll read some of the other post and let me know what you think.

      Like

  74. I love my hair. It may take a little work. I enjoy perms. I do not color. I may never. It has a little gray. It makes a statement for me. Enjoyed your writing.

    Like

  75. Kavitha says:

    Hi, I cannot agree with you… I cannot tell you how much I want my hair straight and how I spend so much time and money doing so! Then one day I saw this Asian friend with absolutely straight hair and she exclaimed “Man I would kill to have thay wavy hair of yours!” And all I could do was laught out loud inside my head and just tell her how I felt the same way about hers! 🙂

    Like

    • What part don’t you agree with? Sounds like we have seen the same thing… the grass is always greener somewhere else! Great that you and your friend made each other feel a little better I hope! thanks for reading!

      Like

  76. sooph30 says:

    Hi:D Yes.I LOVE MY HAIR,i dont´r care what color is it,NOTHING sometimes I go to loads of places without even had brusht it! n.n jajaja I love it 😀

    Like

  77. Loved your post. The grass is ALWAYS greener. As a hairdresser, you could imagine what I come across on a daily basis. Women coming in with photos and pictures of unrealistic goals they would like to achieve with their hair. One thing I have found though, is that hair plays a huge part in self confidence, it can change the way you feel about yourself in an instant. Even though my clients realise that if I cut their hair like Angelina Jolie it does not necessarily mean they’ll look like her, I still notice that their haircut somehow boosts their self image.

    People walk into my salon and spends hundreds of dollars on colour, cuts and blow waves on a monthly basis, and I think to myself, had I not been a hairdresser would I have spent that much on a monthly basis on my hair? I can confidently say no.

    Alopecia is an autoimmune disorder where you could permanently or temporarily lose partial or complete hair growth. I have seen the devastating effects that this could have on ones demeanor and self worth. I can tell you woman who have had hair and lost it will have always said to me “I feel so guilty that I didn’t treat my hair right, I straightened it daily, I coloured it monthly.. If I could only have it back, I would cherish it for what it was and not take it for granted as so many women do on a daily basis.”

    So, I say to all women out there, cherish what you have, curly, straight, frizzy, wavy, long, short, thick, thin – at least you have hair.

    Like

    • Thanks for this insightful feedback! My friend C, who cuts my hair, tells me similar stories. My mom was a stylist too, so I have thought about this for a long time. Interesting stuff in these comments… worthy of another post probably! : ) Thanks so much for reading my blog and taking the time to give such a great feedback. Hope you’ll check out some of the other posts and share your thoughts. : )

      Like

  78. 5kidswdisabilities says:

    OH, I am the same way. Get up in the morning, toss my head, and out the door I go. (Can’t you tell by my picture?)

    Like

  79. Nicole A. Murray says:

    I love my hair. Thick, shiny, healthy, wavy, long, supermodel hair!

    Like

  80. Jess says:

    I actually like my hair! It took me a long time time to appreciate it though. In high school I colored it auburn because I thought my hair was took dark. I hated how thick and wavy it was… now I love it! I’ve cut it short and I’ve learned how to tame it and make it look the way I want it look.

    Love your post! Great topic and correlation 🙂

    Like

  81. lakshmistar says:

    my hair has easily been a metaphor for my own personal growth throughout my life – as a kid, i hated it (picture: annie but longer) because i was a tomboy and didn’t want to deal with it (in fact, i had dreads at a certain point because i would scream at my mother when she tried to brush it out) and later it stood for just how much i didn’t fit in with the other kids in my early teens (grew up in southern california where it seems EVERYONE has very straight, very blonde hair) and now, i love it. my friend (the best hair dresser i’ve ever known) jokes that i could write a book on my hair, because that’s how much i love it. 🙂

    just wanted to add that i think it so very sweet that you’ve taken the time to respond to everyone personally. congratulations on freshly pressed – and for loving your hair!! 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks so much for reading and commenting on the blog Lakshmi. I hear you! I think my hair could be summed up in a similar way and as I get older it’s good to be happy under my hair! Not every minute, but enough that I’m content. I am traveling, so have not had computer access the whole weekend. There are several hundred comments to read, but each one is truly an honor to read and I will get to them all! thanks for noticing. 🙂 I didn’t even know I made Freshly pressed until Saturday and nearly had a heart attack when I saw all the hits! It has been an amazing ride on such an already big weekend! thanks again for taking the time to share and read. I am thrilled.

      Like

  82. Great blog! I have dark brown hair, naturally, and dye it blond. I sometimes I wish I had never started. My daughter is 10 and I hope she keeps her beautiful brown hair. I was struck by a previous commenter that mentioned her Trichotillamania. My daughter, as well, has been informally diagnosed with the disorder. She started pulling out her eyelashes at 8 and last year began pulling her hair out of her head, that was discovered when I saw the silver dollar sized bald spot on her head.

    Like

    • Hi Queen, I never had a diagnosis, nor did I know there was one… but had the same eyelash, eye brow thing… lots of anxiety and stress in college and for a few yrs after. I don’t do it anymore, thank goodness. Sorry your daughter is dealing with it. It’s so hard as a mom to see our kids struggle! Maybe if you let your daughter know how much you love her brown hair, she’ll embrace it too. The thing about dying, while it’s hard to do, you can always stop if you really want… Thank you so much for checking out my blog and sharing your own thoughts.

      Like

  83. leeklover says:

    I agree we always want what we can’t have. On one side though, you have always had a coveted hair color, so it’s easy for you to say that you didn’t dye it. You had no reason to, you regularly got complimented all your life on your hair. This doesn’t happen to most women.

    It kinda reminds me of me saying I never felt the need for a boob job so all girls should be happy with their tiny boobs. I happen to naturally have big ones so of course I never wanted anything more.

    I am not trying to be critical but hope you understand what I mean. Is that I think there are women out there who are lucky and some not so much. I do think we are forced to care about these things in the first place by a ridiculous society that places emphasis on looks. It is sad, but.. I think since time began humans have been comparing, ugh. it’s unfortunately “natural” 🙂

    Great post! made me think!

    Like

    • I hear you, but would clarify: it wasn’t always a compliment. Carrot top was mean and made me think the orange was not nice. Late it was appreciated, but I was already uncomfortable with my own hair. The point I hoped to make was that it’s been a process. I’m happy to like it now (and NOT every minute, of every day, but overall). I do feel lucky and agree with you that it isn’t that way for everyone. That was also part of my point. Whatever makes each of us feel good and comfortable: that is what each of us should do. Nothing more, nothing less. Thank you so much for reading the blog and taking the time to comment. I have loved reading these (though it’s taking a while!)… Glad it made you think. THAT is the main reason I am doing this and it is great to hear. 🙂

      Like

  84. I like my hair when I use a flat iron on it. 🙂

    Like

  85. acaseofeuphoria says:

    It seems strange but when I leave my house my hair turns frizzy and when I’m back home it goes back to normal.

    Like

  86. Mèo Lười Việt says:

    Actually I like more stylish hair than my own, but it takes too much time and money. So I choose to accept what God gave me naturally. 😀

    Like

  87. A woman’s hair is her crowning glory, so it is natural that we spend time to have it look the way we want it to be. I have mine straight and dark brown, my natural hair. When I was in my teens, I too longed to have it permed or curled. My mom was 100% against it 😀
    Good post & congrats for being Freshly Pressed!

    http://www.mariainschweiz.wordpress.com

    Like

    • Thank you so much for the feedback and for checking in. It’s been fun to read what people connected to. Quite a weekend with all the activity and no computer access to really read it all! Appreciate your thoughts.

      Like

  88. Elizabeth says:

    I have been where you are. As a young girl growing up I had wavy blond hair, as I grew up my hair became darker and darker with more and more curls. Asa young adult I had long curly dark hair and I was tired of looking in the mirror at a frizzy head of hair so I went to the salon and asked that they cut it off and give me a cute shorter hair cut.
    During that hair cut a woman next to me said “People would pay for your hair” I replied “let them then” I was so done at that point with the hair on my head I was willing to do whatever it took to have different hair.
    Then.. I had cancer and had very little hair… I realized then that coloring my hair wasn’t neccessary and wishing for straighter hair wasn’t something I needed to do. Now 4 years later I love my natural long borwn curly hair for what it is!

    Like

  89. Kim Pugliano says:

    I am proud to be a curly-girl. I admit that I do color it to add a bit of red that runs in the family and to cover some of the gray that is quickly and quietly popping up, but I don’t know how much longer I will do that. I don’t think I’m aging badly so I may just go along with it. Congrats on FP!!

    Like

  90. Ron says:

    I really like your blog! and congrats!

    Like

    • Thanks for checking it out Freddie. I’m traveling but will check out your blog as soon as I get home. It’s been really fun reading some of these comments, when I can find a wifi in this little town. Appreciate the feedback.

      Like

  91. amor24 says:

    Nice post. I wish I had wavier hair. The waves in my hair are very shy. They only reveal themselves when my hair is cut low 😦

    Like

  92. momtuition says:

    I started out “natural”, have gone to “relaxing”, jerry curl (yes I did that), braids, weave, and chopped it all off (when the “boy” look was hot in the early 90… Yeah I did that too) – Let it grow back it grow back then did it all over again (skipping the jerry curl of course). Now I have dreadlocks and I’m loving them – But one of my colleagues came in with their hair cut short the other day and from then I’ve been having a serious case of hair-envy 🙂

    Like

    • The Grass is always greener! Sorry I didn’t respond sooner, but your comment went to spam for some reason. Have really enjoyed reading all the interesting things women do to their hair and how they feel. I love my short hair, but have always wanted dreads. Not sure I could wait it out or deal with them, but love the look! thanks so much for reading this post and commenting. I hope maybe you’ll check out some of the others and let me know what you think.

      Like

  93. I honestly dont even remember what my natural color of hair is. I dye it not because I dont like my original hair but for the fact that I can do whatever I want to it! Curl it, straighten it, dye it pink! Hair is amazing!

    Like

  94. anonymous says:

    In Judaism, grey hair is considered to be highest marker distinguishing between father and son/mother and daughter. The distinguished is there so that the father and mother may be honored in their age.

    “the hoary head is a crown of glory” (Prov. 16:31)

    Like

    • anonymous says:

      In Judaism, grey hair is considered to be the highest distinguishable physical trait between father and son/mother and daughter. The Torah says that G-d made this distinguishable character trait so that the father and mother may be honored in their age.

      “the hoary head is a crown of glory” (Prov. 16:31)

      Your comment is awaiting moderation.

      Like

    • Hmm, interesting. SO, hopefully my silvers will gain me some respect and honor from my kids anonymous? I sure hope so! 🙂 Thanks for reading and posting a comment.

      Like

  95. I totally agree! I’ve always thought that my hair was a good place to express the adventurous side of me… it grows back, so the risk seems low enough. Now I stick with what’s easy, but enjoy keeping it a bit fun. I have to look up the most recent Maroon 5 cut… love the group, can’t say I know the look! 😉 Thanks for reading the blog and taking the time to comment.

    Like

  96. See and I miss my curls… hard to be totally satisfied with what we have. I threw away the brush, a big start for me! : ) thanks for stopping in.

    Like

  97. No doubt! The sooner you can do it, the better… says the “girl” who took 48 yrs! : ) Thanks for reading my blog.

    Like

  98. It wasn’t so funny in elementary school, but I see the humor now… I guess… well, maybe not. :-p Hair seems to be a popular theme, though I had no idea when I wrote it. Thanks for reading.

    Like

  99. I agree with every word you wrote here Britney. It’s a tough thing to let go of, the hair… however, I have been ok w/mine for a while, having worked hard to just let that issue go. There are still days when I look at someone els and think “if only…” Thanks for checking out my post and sharing your thoughts! Love reading other people’s feedback. : )

    Like

  100. Freedom, exactly!! That is what I most appreciate about letting the hair thing go… freedom from caring about it. : ) Thanks for the feedback and for checking out my post.

    Like

  101. Viva indeed! Somehow, I think being the only redhead in Greece sounds terribly exotic! I’m sure it had it’s wonderful moments! ; ) Thanks for reading my post and celebrating the red hair groove.

    Like

  102. Thanks Katherine… it has been a whirlwind to be featured. I’m on the road so have barely had time to check in! Thanks for reading.

    Like

  103. Lakia, My guess is that it will be rough for a while, and then go much easier. It’s like growing out a cut… always tough! You begin to second guess yourself, etc. However, hopefully, if you stick to it, you’ll be happy on the other side. Thanks for checking out my blog.

    Like

  104. Mine is very short and I just don’t need a comb or brush. I simply run my fingers thru’ it each day… I like it messier or bed head, so it works for me. It has gotten kind of used to being under treated I suppose. : ) Now, I just let it go and don’t think much about it. I appreciate the feedback and thanks for checking out the blog.

    Like

  105. Wow, beach spray, that’s a new one for me! Never heard of it. I believe in never say never, but hopefully you’re right and at 22 you’ve figured out what it took me another 24 to figure out! Bravo for you. Thanks for stopping by and for taking the time to share your thoughts.

    Like

  106. If it makes you happy, that’s the point. : ) thanks for reading!

    Like

  107. Thanks, the press was a thrill! Didn’t even know it happened for a day and traveling, so still catching up! thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. : -)

    Like

  108. thanks for sharing… sounds like you don’t have anything to be jealous of! : ) Appreciate the feedback and thoughts.

    Like

  109. I’ll take 5 stars any day! thanks for the honor; thanks for reading.

    Like

  110. I understand that not everyone thinks that their hair is beautiful the way it is, but it’s a nice thought for sure! Thanks for stopping by. : )

    Like

  111. The older I get, the less I can be bothered… doesn’t mean I don’t people watch and envy sometimes, but glad it’s much less often now! thanks for checking out my blog.

    Like

  112. Good for you! It’s great when you can be happy just worrying about your own feelings. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  113. I like the reinventing part too, I just do less of it with my hair these days… in college, it was my favorite way to switch it up. Thanks for stopping in.

    Like

  114. Thanks Renee… appreciate the warm wishes and kind feedback. Glad you’ve made peace with your hair… it’s a hard thing to do. : ) Hope you’ll keep reading. I’ll be posting again soon.

    Like

  115. In3Q says:

    Do not like my hair, too hard

    Like

  116. trialsinfood says:

    i too covet other people’s hair. i wished mine was softer. i don’t like the bit of natural curl that i have. but i also don’t like putting in the effort required to make it look like other people’s hair.

    Like

  117. Funny that that’s what people think when they see curls! It’s not like curls are an inherently Jewish thing. Glad you’ve worked it though and thanks for checking out my blog!

    Like

  118. Unfortunately, I don’t know anything about that kind of thing but hopefully you can figure it out. Thanks for checking out my blog!

    Like

  119. Sounds like the perfect place to “live.” Feels good, doesn’t it? 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts and reading my post.

    Like

  120. Lucky you, a “ginger” baby! Love my blond kiddos, but sure hot we have another red head in the family one day. Thanks for reading the post!

    Like

  121. Thanks for sharing! Your wife should feel very special reading all these wonderful thoughts… most women would love to have that appreciation! Glad you enjoyed the post and hope you’ll check back.

    Like

  122. The hair thing just befuddles so many of us! I’m glad I’m in and out with a simple cut, but I get it. : ) Thanks for reading the post; hope you check out others.

    Like

  123. Thanks! Coveted and read… can’t complain about that! 🙂 thanks for the good thoughts; hope you’ll read some of the other posts.

    Like

  124. We all have those days I think! Be glad there are fewer of them than more… thanks for reading.

    Like

  125. Indeed! It’s a universal thing. Thanks for reading and sharing.

    Like

  126. Thanks for sharing Shoes. Hard thing to deal with and then listen to some of us whine about the color, texture, length, etc… puts it in perspective. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and share your thoughts. Hope you’ll check back.

    Like

  127. Bravo! I agree, your daughters might read something in to your dye job, that tells them they should be unhappy too… on the other hand, I do believe that mothers/women owe it to themselves to find what makes them happy too. It can’t ALL be for someone else! thanks for sharing and checking out my post. You should see my hair in the avatar. Short and simple, getting darker by the year.

    Like

  128. Sounds like you have a plan… it’s good to be young and feel free to play. Just enjoy it! Thanks for reading.

    Like

  129. The disappearing hair thing is tough to swallow, but like so many things, it is what it is. thanks for reading Dip.

    Like

  130. I’m a wild grass girl… it’s a beautiful thing. Thanks for reading and weighing in.

    Like

  131. Pingback: Today I’m Sad About Hair – But Not Mine | Raw Simple Living

  132. As a hijab wearer, I can completely relate to your daughter’s experience! It’s nice to be the only girl who doesn’t squeal when it starts raining, and it saves a lot of time when i’m getting ready in the morning! 🙂 When people see me without my headscarf, they are generally surprised..it’s always interesting to see what style or haircolour Muslim girls are hiding beneath their hijab! Hair can really change a face!

    Like

    • It’s not surprising that hair has played a role in so many stories, from the bible to fairy tales… and clearly holds a powerful role in many cultures and ethnic groups. The comments I’ve received have been even more eye opening for me, on a subject I’d already thought a lot about! Thanks for checking out my post. I hope you’ll read some of the others as well and let me know what you think. 🙂

      Like

  133. minabee says:

    I loved this post- it’s always great to hear about how these dilemnas are cross-cultural. These days- now that looking “natural” is in for Black gurls, I got all kind of flack from friends when I texturized my hair for the first time after being natural for 23years! Working in the hospital I wanted to get up and go and not have to spend so much time doing my hair every morning- I also feel that part of me was striking back at everyone who was still stuck on “good hair”. Now I love it! I especially love that every time anyone asks me what I’ve done to make it look so fresh I can say- I washed it and walked out of the house.

    Like

    • Damned if you do and damned if you don’t, White or Black, Asian, Muslim, red hair, black, brunette or blonde… it does seem to be across all lines, and THAT is a very interesting thing. I’ve really enjoyed hearing from so many diverse women, and far more men than I would have guessed. I’ve thought a lot about his, but I guess I didn’t realize how many other people have too! Thanks so much for reading my post and taking the time to share your thoughts. I hope you’ll check out some of my other (older) posts and let me know what you think. The feedback keeps me on my toes! : )

      Like

  134. jessicaber says:

    Thank you Dawn. Well, it did not really end my marriage, but I think that it may have been a factor to say the least in why my fiance and I never got married. The women that had a book out (not published just in a binder) also has on going online classes for it which are $75.00 a month, but still very interesting and she spoke with me on the phone once now and she sent me 4 or 5 mini course emails. It has been very encouraging and my hair is growing in so beautifully, kind of like when he plant grass and watch the yard fill in. It fills me with a lot of hope.

    Like

    • Glad you feel like you’re seeing some progress Jessica! I think some kind of help is good, but hard to say if an online route is best? For that amount, you might be able to find a good therapist who works with this and you could talk to face to face. I’m so glad you’re feeling hopeful! Stay tuned and check out new posts…

      Like

  135. jessicaber says:

    I have only heard of one other person who has Trichotillamania and is willing to talk openly about it in a healer position. In my mind that is what makes her about counselor for this. This is not a counselor by trade. It is that she had this for a long time and healed her self of it. She also looks great in her picture. She also does not sensationalize it or make it out to be something to be ashamed of at all. Here in Montpelier, Vermont if any one knows about it they think that you should be doped up like a psychopath and locked up in the state hospital. Abby’s is a totally different approach.

    Like

  136. jessicaber says:

    (Makes her a better counselor) I meant to say.

    Like

  137. jessicaber says:

    I am not sure if it is working for me, but this lady that she would put her kneck out there like this and say that she had this problem and is healed and wants to help others, I have never seen anything like it and I am really curious about her.

    Like

  138. faithslady says:

    I love my hair – because its mine and I can do anything I want to it! Haha!

    Like

  139. Alta Devalk says:

    What i do not realize is actually how you’re not actually much more well-liked than you might be right now. You are very intelligent. You realize thus significantly relating to this subject, made me personally consider it from numerous varied angles. Its like men and women aren’t fascinated unless it’s one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. Always maintain it up!

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  140. Laura, sorry for not replying, but for some reason your comment went to spam. I have found many of the comments from The Grass very compelling, but the women who shared their chemo experiences really do put things in perspective! You’re right, “REAL” issues trump all the silly narcissistic stuff that weighs us down otherwise! I hope your health is good and stable at this point and your hair has grown back in? It’s interesting what grows back in sometimes, as several of my friends/acquaintances have experienced. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my post and comment. Hope you’ll check out some of the other posts and let me know what you think. Appreciate the feedback! Best wishes for a full recovery.

    Like

  141. I completely agree with the idea of uncomplicated hair… I don’t dry or style it 🙂 Why go through the work when natural hair is, after all, the most beautiful? I think there’s something to be said about being real in that way.

    – Evade

    Like

    • Right now, I totally agree, but no doubt I’ve done various things to my hair over the years. At this stage, simplicity is good. Thanks for reading the post and commenting. I hope you’ll check out other posts as well. : )

      Like

  142. irishheather says:

    Great post, great blog, glad to find you..I like my hair. OK, I actually love my hair. That is, the hair that I spend a lot of money on every 6-8 weeks. My natural hair (whish used to be thick, straight, blonde and beautiful) is now mousey and getting grayer by the day. It also has a wave now and so I straighten it….it’s high maintenance, to be sure. Especially since I am a performer and I have to do a bunch of stuff to it all the time. But when I am mommy during the day, I feel youthful and fun when I just throw it in two braids:)

    Like

    • Glad you found the blog Heather and thanks for reading! The point is to like your hair, and as long as you don’t mind the work… who cares! I liked braids when I could do them too… those days have passed, but I envy other braids! : ) Hope you’ll check out some of the older posts and continue to let me know what you think. Love hearing…

      Like

  143. Funny how hair changes over our lives and how we view ourselves through those stages. It’s great that you’ve managed to feel good about it, even as it evolves! With a new baby, your hair will probably get less time anyway! : ) Thanks so much for reading the post. Hope you’ll check out others and share your thoughts. I appreciate your time!

    Like

  144. How lucky that you have liked your hair through all its stages. If you’ve read any of these comments, you have seen that this is not always true. Now that you have a new baby, your hair will not get as much attention anyway, so enjoy that one thing and use the energy on enjoying your new baby! Congratulations! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this post. I hope you’ll read some others here and let me know what you think. I really appreciate the feedback.

    Like

  145. I’m so glad I stumbled across your blog! As a young (new) mother who just went through chemotherapy and lost alllll my hair (eyebrows and eyelashes too!) I’ve thought a lot about hair lately. It was difficult at first, but I was surprised how soon I felt fine going out in public without a wig and just a cap (and sometimes just my bald head!) I agree with your daughter that at times it felt freeing, though I of course can’t wait to feel the wind in my hair, shampoo my hair again in the shower, etc. It has been good in a way to realize how much my hair meant to me and how much it was a part of my appearance, and to be challenged to see myself as the same person even though I lost such a huge part of my looks (and in my twenties-something I never expected!!). Thanks for your thought provoking post!

    Like

    • Allison, so sorry that you had to go through such a difficult and challenging health event! I was very touched and amazed by the number of women who responded to this blog, who had been through chemo and found themselves looking at hair, beauty, themselves in a new way, because of their health crisis. It really does put all of this in a new perspective! I hope you can hold on to the wisdom gained through the experience, while regaining your health! Congratulations on the birth of your child! Such a lot of life changing events all at once! I’m honored that you found this post thought provoking and grateful that you took the time to read and share your thoughts. I hope you’ll check out some of the older posts (some for laughs, other for thoughts) and let me know what you think. I love reading the feedback: negative or positive, it helps me grow too! Thanks for taking the time with my writing and I hope you are out of the woods and on to much better, happier things!

      Like

  146. Nicole says:

    Great post. A well written one as well. I think people look best with their natural hair color. I like that my hair is naturally straight and I like my hair color – medium brown – I just wish it was thick! I envy women with thick hair. I have very thin “fine” hair. I love long hair, but if I grow mine too long, it looks messy and stringy, my split ends are very noticeable and about two weeks after a haircut, the split ends are back again. I have to wash it daily or else it looks oily, even though I don’t have oily hair. I too have a friend who has naturally curly hair who gets it chemically straightened – I love her hair- it’s so thick and long! She washes it every other day and the day she doesn’t wash it, it looks 10 times better than mine ever will. She can do so much with it. Mine won’t even wave when I attempt to scrunch it. I keep my hair long, but I find myself brushing it every few hours because if I don’t, it looks lifeless; it has no volume to it, and no volume hair products work. It just hangs and separates into globs, making it look like I’m missing hair, no matter what! I suppose it could be worse…but it could also be a lot better!

    Like

    • Hey Nicole, thanks for reading the post! It’s been amazing and very interesting to read the hundreds of comments to this post… it obviously touched a nerve. Sounds like you’re way ahead of the curve, given that you basically like your hair and only envy the thick angle. I should say again, I like my hair NOW. I’m in a place now where it’s one of the few things that I feel pretty good and confident about it. There are loads of other things that I struggle with, like lots of other women. :-p For you, it may be all about finding a cut or style that just works for you and emphasizes what you do like and not what you don’t. In the end, my point wasn’t that we, as women, should’t use chemicals or work at liking our hair… I, personally, prefer not to have to work at it, but whatever works is the goal. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and post. Hope you’ll check out some of the other posts and feel free to let me know what you think.

      Like

  147. coleenmonroe says:

    My hair went through a drastic change lately.

    When I was a child, my hair was so blonde it was nearly see-through. It stayed that way and only darkened a tiny bit in my adulthood. But then I moved to South America.

    My blonde hair attracted the attention of far too many people. I didn’t like what people assumed about me just because I was blonde (easy woman, none too bright, really rich). Before I pulled 4000 miles north to get to Lima, through some tough terrain and off the beaten track…I dyed it. Dark.

    And I absolutely love it! I couldn’t be happier than I changed my hair color, and I feel more like myself than ever.

    Like

    • You had me with “moved to South America”! Love the adventurous spirit of doing something like that… whatever it means for hair. What an interesting route to take, to find yourself. Thanks so much for reading Coleen and for taking the time to respond here. Hope you’ll check out some of the other posts and I’ll take a look at your page…

      Like

  148. Looking at many of your posts I must express i found this one to generally be real productive. I’ve a blogging site too and want to repost a number of snips of your individual message on my personal blogging site. Would it be okay if I do this so as I personal reference your site or create a backlink to the text I took the snip from? Differently I understand and would ne’er do it without having your approval . I have book marked the article to twitter in component to myspace profile intended for reference. In any case appreciate it either way!

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    • Thank you for reading my post and I am fine with you referencing my work, as long as you provide a direct link back to my original article and reference my name and site wherever my material is used. All material from Tales from the Motherland posts is copyrighted and I appreciate you contacting me. Thank you for reading my post.

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  149. renmi86 says:

    If I could have my dream hair, it would be a lot thicker and a bit straighter. Also, it wouldn’t frizz as much. But I will make through with what I have.

    Like

  150. JustAgirl says:

    My hair has its days… like today is good day!
    But never have I wanted to do any chemical treatment on it… I am too worried what would happen to my hair post that effect wears off.

    Like

    • We all have good and bad days… I generally am happy with my hair, but NOT every day! :-p And yes, chemicals scare me too. I am lucky I haven’t needed them! Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment. Hope you’ll check out other posts.

      Like

  151. whyhousewife says:

    It took time for me to truly appreciate the curly mop I was blessed with.

    Like

  152. Reblogged this on Tales from the Motherland and commented:

    I’m reblogging this post, which was Fresh Pressed in August, 2011. I had been blogging 6 weeks and it was lacking a few things. I’ve updated the post, and want to share it again.

    Like

  153. I love this post! AND I love your beautiful red hair! AND I finally grew to love my own crazy curls… and then they began falling out. I cut my hair short a couple of months ago because the length and the heaviness made the hair loss more prominent. I miss the curls I grew to love. My daughter said to me (just tonight!), “Mom, I loved your hair longer. I think you should let it grow again.” Touche, my girl. Touche. I loved it longer, too. And now I get to love it shorter. Life lessons, yes? 😉

    Like

    • Yes, Katrina, life lessons! Those innocent comments our kids and friends throw our way, that stir something. When you say they fell out, do you mean you just lost your curls, or your hair? I notice more and more in the sink lately! :-p I hope this is just an age thing and not a health thing? Mine got very straight for several years, and only recently became curly again. I’m so happy to have the curls back! (she said vainly) Thanks for weighing in.

      Like

      • My hair is just thinning… substantially. The curls themselves work better when they’re shorter, but I miss my ponytails. I think it’s an age thing. I took Biotin supplements, changed my diet, the whole she-bang. But the ponytail that was once difficult to fit into a scrunchie eventually ended up no thicker than my thumb. Boo. 😦 (She says, also vainly.)

        Like

        • I’ve had short hair for a long time, and my daughter asks me to grow it too. Oh, those daughters of ours! Think sassy, and own that short hair… sometimes the grass can be green on our own heads! 😉 We’re both up TOO late… especially since it’s 3 hrs later there! Sweet dreams Katrina.

          Like

  154. Being male I don’t really have a hair issue any longer, though on the way to this point on your page I’m sure several more died off. I am impressed Dawn with your wonderful attitude to life and living.
    I wish you well, short curly hair and all.

    Like

    • Thanks Michael! I’ve often wondered about the male side of this. As I watch my sons, I can almost imagine the changes they’ll have. Like their father, they both have really thick, wonderful hair (actually, more like my mother’s!), but their dad is thinning something I never thought I’d see and it leaves me wondering if they’ll each face that as well. I think the male journey is so much more challenging, in many respects! I appreciate your kind remarks!

      Like

  155. Anja says:

    I think all of us ladies can relate. I use to have long blonde hair…it eventually turned a “dirty” blonde the older I got. I became sick and the treatment caused hair loss of course. I never went bald but my hair did not grow in as full as before. Now I have chopped it all….keep it short and love it. I do the wash and go unless I want to dress up. However I do change the color of my hair to keep it fun. Just love the hair you’re in?

    Like

    • I got a lot of meaningful comments from women who faced illness, the first time this post went round, and it really moved me. We take this hair thing for granted: bitching and whining, until we can’t take if for granted. I’ve heard amazing stories of women whose hair grew back in entirely different colors and textures I think we all need to just do what we want with the hair we have. Love the one you’re with. 😉

      Like

  156. Robin says:

    Glad you reblogged! Great story. I have noticed this too–we all want want others have. I always had friends with natural curls and mine has always been straight and always wished it were reversed. And you are so lucky, to be born with the beautiful red hair! When I was in high school I started getting into that punk-thing, or whatever you want to call it so had burgundy hair for awhile–this is what started the hair coloring–once a gal starts, she mostly never stops! No burgundy now but highlights….I have mostly made peace with my hair now–even though it’s straight, I like long and will keep it like that as long as I can…very easy!

    Like

    • Robin, glad you’ve made peace with your hair. It’s a journey, but I think a good place to land. So funny how many say “you’re lucky to be born with red hair,” when, as I say is the case with most of us, I had all kinds of misgivings when I was younger. Mostly, I’m glad too and since I got three blondes, who became brunettes, I hope to have some red headed grandbabies one day. See, the longing never ends! 😉 Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts; much appreciated!

      Like

  157. I’ve been meaning to read this one, and just never have…so I’m glad you reblogged it! First off, the color of your hair is simply gorgeous. I have always been a fan of red hair, and happy that I naturally have some red in my brunette locks. Which brings up the time someone referred to me as a red-head…Since I was old enough to know colors, I’ve always considered myself a brunette. I do think the red highlights have made themselves more prominent as I’ve gotten older, but I have never flinched in identifying myself as someone with brown hair. Then last year, a friend of mine was telling me this story about a girl she met, and she made note that we had the same name. Then she said, “And she’s a red-head, too.” I looked at my friend strangely and said, “I’m not a red-head.” This sounds weird, but it kind of rattled me…that idea that how I had always seen myself was not at all how someone else perceived me. It was wild. Hmmmm, I may have a blog post here…

    So I got way sidetracked in basically telling your this is a fantastic post! And getting FPed after only six weeks of blogging? That takes skill. It too me over two years!!! 🙂

    Like

    • Well Kelly, you do have a lot of red highlights! I can see someone calling you a redhead… though I think you have to go through the trial by carrot top fire that we redheads go through… so, no fair! Each day I find more gray-white, and know that my days are numbered. I really hope to not ever turn to that bottle that makes so many older red headed women look so strange… quote me later. 😉

      Glad you enjoyed this. I don’t reblog often, but when I do, I hope to make it fresh. As for FP, I think it was the title, not necessarily any great skill. Really. The writing is ok, there were no photos at the time (none!) and it was not one of my stronger posts, but the title, I think is kick ass. You can quote me on that one.

      Like

  158. Psychobabble says:

    I was born with blonde hair, and my hair became redder and redder as I got older, but even then, I always wished for a bright red shade like yours. In high school and college, I even dyed my hair to have that bright red color. For the most part, I do love my hair. I purposely didn’t dye it for a long time before my wedding because I wanted my natural color in the pictures.

    Like

  159. TJLubrano says:

    I adore red hair! Not sure why, but I always did and never understood why people teased people with red hair. Jealousy? Either way, this post is so wonderful and what a great way to get introduced to your blog 🙂 I do love my hair and the way it curls and I have my mom (and my dad) to thank for it as she had long wavy hair (not my dad though…but he had curls too hehe). I have colored it to a red/purple as it suits my personality more.I suppose it’s the artist in me haha. I’m not actively keeping my vibrantly colored or anything. I’m very lazy and just work with my hair however it falls that day and I only use a flat iron when I really have to!

    Like

    • It’s funny how many people say they like/love red hair! And yes, we get a lot of teasing, or attention, one way or another. It was always so strange to me! I’m so honored that you are reading the blog, and glad that you liked this post. It’s really fun getting to know other bloggers, and making connections. Where do you live? I’m on the west coast, WA state.

      Like

      • TJLubrano says:

        Definitely strange to me as well, but I’m biased as I love colors haha. I live in Rotterdam, The Netherlands 🙂 I have to stalk the States soon though. Correct me if I’m wrong, but WA is Washington?

        Like

        • Sorry, yes, WA is Washington state, not the capital. We are an hour north of Seattle and 1 hr south of Vancouver. When you stalk us, let me know and the guest room is ready. You can bring your colorful hair here, and see the most beautiful area of the country!

          Like

  160. Mike Lince says:

    Ha – one more thing we have in common. I have only colored my hair twice, too. I was 52 the first time, I was newly divorced. I was going on a singles cruise and I wanted to look by best (youngest). The second time was last month – on a dare. Now it looks stupid, but I only have to see it in my reflection. Also, I wear a hat more often. 🙂 – Mike

    Like

  161. How fun to discover this piece you wrote so long ago! I started coloring my hair when my son was 2 and someone mentioned how cute my grandson was. I was 40 at the time; and was mortified. But, about 3 years ago, I had changed inside so much that my colored hair became a PIA to keep up, and it didn’t feel authentic to me. After letting the color grow out, I had my hair chopped short, and I’ve been very happy with the color every since. It’s much more multi-tonal and interesting now, and much softer. Aren’t natural curls and waves fun?

    Like

    • I’m glad you found this too… always fun to have those oldies but goodies come out to play. 😉 I love your natural color! I hope to eventually have nice silver hair, but redheads tend to go white… ugh. Alas, The Grass Is Always Greener… 😉

      Like

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