Life is funny. I waited a long time to get a Facebook account, and I’m still totally lame when it comes to working all the technology and keeping up with stuff that changes on line… But who knew that it would be the big ice breaker for my 30th high school reunion. Nearly a year ago, two of my ex-classmates started planning our class’ 30th reunion, back in my home state of Massachusetts. Part of the planning was a Class of 1981 reunion page, and that’s where the party started.
I grew up on the south shore, in the small town of Scituate. The reunion is in Plymouth, because here weren’t any hotels in Scituate, that could manage our group. We’re all old enough and wise enough to not want to drink and drive; and we’re all old enough and wise enough to know we’ll drink. This is and always was a party crowd. Some things don’t really change. What has changed is that we all started the party on Facebook and then got to just pick up mid-sentence, in person. The FB reunion page that our Prom Queen and King (hailed such for all the hard work they did to organize all of us) started up, has been a place for all of us to initially check in and discuss whether we were coming. We then began posting old pictures and sharing tales from our youth.
For a while it was like we were back in school as everyone fell back in to their initial tribes. However, as the weeks flew by and we all began to make reservations and book the hotel, the dialogue took on a new feel. People who hadn’t been friends in high school; who hadn’t kept in touch for all these years; people like me, who maybe hadn’t thought much about any of that, began to ask “what have you been doing?” “Where do you live?” “What’s up?” I found myself up late at night “chatting” with people who I felt tied to by a shared, ancient history, but who were now new friends for all intents and purposes. We began to fill in the blanks and forge new alliances and bonds. We began to connect on a new playing field.
So, when we got together last night at a classmate’s house, near the beach in Plymouth, it was like walking in to a room full of old friends and picking up mid-sentence… mid-Facebook sentence. People were commenting on so and so’s latest pictures, the comment so and so posted earlier and the funny responses, and we all felt like we’d passed go and were jumping right in, where we left off. Only, for some of us, it was a whole new jumping-off point. I don’t really remember a lot of the same things some of my classmates remember from high school; I was not there or have forgotten. However, I was there when they posted their latest vacation pictures or laughed about losing weight before the reunion tonight.
Very few are bringing spouses, a smart thing it seems. It’s strange enough bridging the 10, 20 or 30 year gap that exists, depending on which other reunions you came to and who you connected with then,without trying to make your spouse or partner feel comfortable as well. Who would? I know that when I attended the 10th and 20th (a decade girl), I felt pretty out of my own little loop. I had been in touch with 4 people since high school and I stuck like glue to them. With no electronic ice breaker, we didn’t have all this pre-reunion catching up and I just didn’t know where to start. So I pretty much stayed in one spot most of the night, enjoyed the people I already knew and didn’t take any steps forward.
I was also still working through old high school anticipations and issues and probably wasn’t ready to see things with a fresh perspective. The FB angle has done away with so much of that. I came in to this knowing that I’m not the only one who was feeling a little bit grayer than I’d like to be; I’m not the only one who doesn’t weigh what I did in high school; I’m happy to joke about that and have some fun with it. These shared insights, helped level the playing field for so many of us. We arrived at the bonfire last night, ready to start fresh and not judge. By the time our pre-party ended last night, we had become a whole new tribe: having spent an entire night laughing our heads off and breaking the ice that we would have broken tonight. By the end of the night we were all “friending” new old friends and waiting to see each other tonight, for the real reunion.
While I may think that FB isn’t the greatest thing for everyone, it’s a real benefit to the whole social networking aspect of re-connecting with people who you may never have wondered about again, or ever seen. It’s a pay day for reunions. As I iron my dress and get ready to go downstairs, I’m excited and ready to continue the dance. When I get my first cocktail, I wont be worrying about who to share it with, or hoping (honestly) that it loosens things up. When we’re all dancing to the band and then the playlist I put together from our era (AC/DC, Aerosmith, Blondie, Bay City Rollers, Cure, Depeche Mode, The Police, etc) , I wont feel as concerned about how silly I look. We’re all going to be silly together. I am looking forward to catching up with all kinds of people I loved in high school and just as many I hardly knew then. Now, they all seem like old friends and I can’t wait!
Have you gone to a reunion recently? How did it go? What was good or bad about it? Did you find that re-connecting on line first, helped? Weigh in and share a comment. If you liked this post, please hit the Like button below, or pass it on, with Share button.
TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
Old FB does bring together some strange bedfellows and exhume skeletons from closets long-forgotten.
Sandy
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NO kidding! IT was a great ice breaker, but then you still have to figure out what happens at the reunion! 😉 thanks for taking the time to read my blog; hope you’ll check back!
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Dawn – Nice!
I am so sorry not to have been there tonight – I hope you all are having a great time. I too do not remember too much from HS and I think you hit the nail on the head — so many of us feel out of place but after reading your post I will get to the next one :))
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Surreal Shelly… sorry you couldn’t make it. No doubt these reunions are “interesting”…. I’ll post later.
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Missing my 20th reunion is what got me hooked on FB. It was in 2008, the reunion was scheduled the weekend before my daughter started kindergarten on the other side of the country. So, I found out about all those old friends and acquaintances continuing the conversations and posting all the photos from the reunion on FB. So great! I was even able to reconnect with an exchange student from Australia–we chat every once in a while. I also think that as we get older and have gotten through all those stressful child-rearing and career-starting years, we’re ready to be real friends to one another again. What a great time for you!
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Nice job Dawn,
I have only attended my 10th and 30th reunions. I felt like a lot of the barriers came down at the 10 reunion. But I think by far we get better with age, so I appreciated everyone much more at this one. When we reach this age, I believe we tend to judge less and we are less concerned about being judged. For me, It was quite a bit easier to talk with everyone. It truly was a great time.
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Couldn’t agree more Doug! Great weekend and so glad I went. Thanks so much for checking out the blog and giving feedback.
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I love your writings! I am new to all this, and feel lucky to get a few views a day! I do agree that Facebook is wonderful to catch up with old friends, and will probably attend my next reunion because of it. I am glad to hear yours went so well, gives me new courage!
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Welcome to blogging then Jan. I just started recently and I’m still getting going. This was a TOTAL surprise and I was completely overwhelmed by the response! I’m honored, truly, that you have enjoyed the writing. Hope you read more than one post before saying that! 😉 Thanks so much for checking out my blog.
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I haven’t seen or been in touch with a single person from high school. That sounds sad but I went to a regional vocational school in central Ma and frankly after freshman year had 0 friends, however it was a party school and I am not a partier so it’s understandable. From what I have perused so far I have decided to subscribe to your blog because my desire to be a writer seems to be coming out of the proverbial closet about the same time as yours. Keep the thoughts coming!
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I hear you JT. I haven’t been home much over the years. I do have a few good friends from hs, but have not heard from the other 400 people in years. However, this weekend, he playing field was level so to speak and it was great to get to know people on a whole new level. I think much of the area is party centered, but for one weekend, it was fun to join in. Thanks for checking out my blog and honored that you decided to subscribe. Hope you enjoy it!
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Congratulations on being FP! I enjoyed the featured post so much that I went to the beginning and read your entire blog. Some of it I had to read aloud to my husband, it was so good, often very funny. We like how you write. You make us laugh and also think about things we would not have otherwise considered. Thank you for that! I’m looking forward to more posts.
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Wow! I am deeply touched. This has been such a surreal experience, hearing from so many people and getting so many wonderful comments. My head is spinning. I have been on the road since the FP came out and am just now reading many of these, or getting to check in at all… very weird. I will be posting about 2-3x per week I think. Depends. I will rarely post 3x like I did today, but you can see that 2 were “fluff.” I’ll check out your blog when I get home… but thank you so much for taking the time to read my writing and share such a wonderful comment. I am really honored. Hope you enjoy future posts as much. 🙂
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