Friday Fictioneers: Into The Blue


This is another contribution to Friday Fictioneers, over on Rochelle-Wisoff-Fields’ site. Each week, Rochelle posts a photo prompt, and participants write a 100 word story to accompany it, which has a beginning, middle and end. It has quickly become a weekly addiction. Check out other entries here. Here is my entry, with 100 words exactly. I always welcome feedback. Please leave a comment.

copyright Rich Voza

copyright Rich Voza

Into The Blue

Marjorie moved hesitantly across the field, toward the three doors—her confusion only momentary, as she flashed back over her years as a kindergarten teacher. Primary colors, very original, she thought.

At first it was confusing, the blur of memories. So true; it flashes by, she said, to no one in particular. Such bright moments, difficult challenges… and the love.  She wanted more, but understood the choice before her.

I choose blue: the color of the sea, the sky and my lover’s eyes; then she stepped through the blue door.

“Time of death: 11:23 a.m. Let’s go tell her husband.”

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
This entry was posted in Blogging, Death, Friday Fictioneers, Tales From the Motherland, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

48 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: Into The Blue

  1. Kerri says:

    Gave me a shiver, truly. I love this one.

    Like

  2. gingerpoetry says:

    wow, I love this surprises, starting so harmlessly…great story!

    Like

  3. I wonder if she knew she was dead and if she’ll be happy to see her husband. Hmm…I think the first one is a yes. Nice one. Eerie!

    Like

  4. summerstommy2 says:

    Oh tftm, you led me on a journey and then struck me down, great that you did so. There’s a hint though of callousness about the last sentence, maybe that’s the beauty of the piece….I did enjoy. I shall follow you, if you don’t mind. I like the way your mind works.

    Like

    • Thanks Summers… The callousness is the inherent clinical posturing of those who say those words, over and over. I wanted there to be a little mystery to a point, but give enough clues that a reader might figure it out (ie: the memories that “flash” by= my life flashed in front of my eyes)… Glad you liked it and happy to have you ride along. My mind is full of twists and turns. I am really enjoying the FFs; and got Fresh pressed for my Weekly Writing Prompt, last week…so many challenges, so much fun. 😉

      Like

  5. unfetteredbs says:

    You make me wonder what the other colors signify for your character. Nicely done. I enjoyed this..

    Like

  6. Linda Vernon says:

    Oh wow! I love this. I have a feeling she was happy with her choice . You were able to convey so much of her character in such a short time. And what a provocative portrayal of death! Nicely written!

    Like

    • Thank you so much Linda. I was hoping to give the readers a real sense of who she was (teacher, wife, lover of the ocean, sky and her love) and dying. I’m really liking this challenge. The tighter you can get the story, the better the writing… and that’s a fun challenge! Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Like

  7. Dan Hennessy says:

    Powerful and touching . Well done !

    Like

  8. Sandra says:

    Great take on the prompt. Well done.

    Like

  9. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Dawn,

    This is one of the good ones. Congratulations.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  10. Dear Dawn,

    Your stories are fast becoming an addiction of mine. You gave us a sense of who she is with few words. Primary colors…a teacher. Well layered story that pierced my heart.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    (no “h” is Wisoff 😉 )

    Like

    • Dang! I keep getting that name wrong Rochelle, even when I double check. Stuck. Sorry about that. I’m sincerely honored that my stories touch you. And I’m grateful that you give us all something to look at each week; thanks! Dawn

      Like

  11. Adam Ickes says:

    Doors to the afterlife, interesting. The question is which door goes where? Do they all go to the same place or does making the wrong choice throw a serious wrench in your happy eternity? Also, when the husband dies, if he chooses a different door will he never see her again? So many questions. Shame on you for making me think this early in the morning!

    Like

  12. This was great!! The last line a true ‘gotcha!’ and the shades of blue came automatically to my mind.
    Damn girl, you’re dangerous with that keyboard 😉

    Like

  13. Geat surprise.. wonder if her husband did it… those blue eyes sounds like bad news

    Like

  14. Reblogged this on Tales from the Motherland and commented:

    Several of my posts have disappeared… so, I’m reblogging for now. Enjoy!

    Like

  15. annisik51 says:

    Clever. Interesting angle on life after death. I can’t be sure who is doing the talking at the end. It occurred to me it might be the ‘relevant authorities’ but maybe not, maybe the heroine’s helpers in the spiritual dimension and that they would contact the husband via visions/dreams perhaps. Ann

    Like

  16. Very good. We do seem to be on common ground this week. 🙂

    Like

  17. MissTiffany says:

    I like your use of color in this. Especially since when I dream, color always seems to be prominent. Also, I liked the feeling of peace that came with the story – the woman was obviously ready to go. Nicely done!

    Like

  18. zookyworld says:

    You packed in so much into 100 words. A bit of her past, things important to her (beautiful that she called her husband her lover), and the mystery of the three doors, of wondering what they would lead to in the afterlife. Also, I liked her reasons for picking the blue door. This was a really good read.

    Like

    • Thanks, so much. I wondered if people would see that she called her husband her lover, not someone else. It was tempting to clarify, but I opted to just leave it, and I’m glad that you saw it. 😉 Thanks so much for stopping by to check out my work. I appreciate the specific, direct feedback. Hope you’ll read more, and let me know what you think.

      Like

  19. babso2you says:

    Good one! I was not expecting that ending!

    Like

  20. pattisj says:

    She chose the calm, peaceful blue door that represented sea, sky, lover’s eyes. Way to go, both you and her!

    Like

  21. I’m glad you revisited this story. I missed it somehow back then, but I love it. It has such a peaceful, yet melancholy feel.

    Like

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