Friday Fictioneers: A Hero’s Destiny


friday-fictioneersHere’s Friday Fictioneers, the greatest free show in town!  Rochelle Wisoff-Fields runs this band of merry writers, where participants are asked to write a 100-word story, with a beginning, middle and end, using a photo prompt. It’s a wonderful challenge with lots of interesting outcomes. Check out other participants here.   One of these days, I plan to get up extra early to be one of the first contributors… this West Coast delay is always a bummer!

I always welcome feedback: positive or constructive. Leave something in the comments, and make my day. Check out Tales From the Motherland on Facebook, and hit like. I will smile for hours.

al_forbes

(98 words)

His sword was a blur as men fell beneath and around him. Blood flowed across the field, where even the bravest were slain. His eyes were fixed on the chaos, determined to survive and see his family again.  Young, strong and valiant, he fought for a Republic that promised a better life for his young sons and daughter.  He was willing to die for that hope.  Ignoring the carnage, he fought on.

“Such a remarkable face! He’s exquisite.” Susan ran her fingers across the ornate mantel. “Who is he?”

The antiques dealer shrugged. “Who knows? Some nameless soldier.”

 

Carmen made me think of this.  A favorite song, and reminder of our mortality.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wp4O7v5320

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
This entry was posted in Beauty, Blog, Blogging, blogs, Friday Fictioneers, Life, Tales From the Motherland, Writing, Writing challenge and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

83 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: A Hero’s Destiny

  1. Carrie Rubin says:

    Sad but true, isn’t it? Good reminder for us to not be so blase or take things for granted.

    Like

  2. Good story about the relativity of all things, past, present, and future. Of course the valiant guy in the first paragraph was modeled after me, no doubt. PLEASE DON’T ANSWER THAT!

    Like

  3. helenmidgley says:

    That last line was a killer, really great piece 🙂

    Like

  4. kz says:

    that’s really sad..and unfortunately,too real. i really like where you took the prompt.great story.:-)

    Like

  5. Anja says:

    Such a creative and fresh take on this photo. That last line said it all. Just wonderful.

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  6. Cathy Ulrich says:

    Yet, his energy lives on in the sculpture…and Susan felt that. Nice piece, Dawn.

    Like

  7. vbholmes says:

    His heroism immortalized by sculpture, his name forgotten through the ages–how often that happens. Good story.

    Like

  8. I choose to believe he won the fight. Nameless to some antiques dealer but his sons and daughters know his name.

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  9. flowclancy24 says:

    Excellent piece, very well done.

    Like

  10. oberon732013 says:

    Dear Tales, Oberon has suggested we widen our net, so to speak and look at your blog, I must say it is a very striking story you have presented, a little sad but very well done. I have been told not to be rude on other people’s blogs, so I am holding my tongue, though you might like to look at the spelling in your title, heroes’ might be the word you seek. Sorry that was the pedant Oberon, I would never be so rude. Love Titania.

    Like

    • Well Titania, I’m glad you and Oberon felt compelled or even tempted to come by. I appreciate the time and effort. I also appreciate feedback. I think many of my FF stories or blog posts lean towards a “little sad,” but I’m glad for “well done.”

      On second glance, I think the error in my title is that it should be Hero’s… Hereos’ would refer to ownership by multiple heroes. So, it is not at all rude to provide helpful feedback and I’m grateful Oberon was inclined to comment. However, if it’s not rude on my part (and dare I say, I think it’s not), I believe we were both wrong and I’ve corrected it to Hero’s… ownership by one hero. 😉 Thank you! Love, Dawn

      Like

  11. The Waiting says:

    I always love little twists at the end. Well done, Dawn.

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  12. I loved it. The act of bravery is enough. Does he speak for all the nameless soldiers who die for us? Really great, Dawn! You’re so on top of this!!

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  13. Mike Lince says:

    I love your story which has so much mythology suggested in this brief excerpt. I envisioned Excalibur in the hands of young Arthur, who came to symbolize a force willing to fighting against evil to make a better world for his family, his kingdom, his legacy. ‘Some nameless soldier?’ Perhaps. Or perhaps a legendary hero. While there is power and beauty in the image, we will never know what secrets the sculptor kept concealed in the stone. – Mike

    Like

    • Such a thoughtful comment, Mike… I love that you took this to another level and shared some real thoughts here. I do think that mythology and the hero’s tale is something that stirs so much, in many of us. Always love seeing your mug on my blog, Mikie! 🙂

      Like

  14. claireful says:

    A great take on the passing of time and how in a few hundred years many of the things we’re fighting for now and care about passionately will have been forgotten. Your story left me with a wonderful feeling of melancholia.

    Like

  15. Dear Dawn,

    It’s sobering to think of the hero’s glorious past being reduced to a nameless stone image. Your segue from past to present is seamless. Well-crafted. Good job.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • Many thanks Rochelle. I found the image very sobering. It was tempting, at first, to go with a fantasy or battle story, but when I gave it a little time, the story seemed clear for me. Your kind feedback is much appreciated.
      Shalom, Dawn

      Like

  16. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Dawn,

    I loved this story.

    As writers I believe we are all striving to leave our mark on the world. It is a quest for the closest thing we can have to immortality. Your story captures well the sadness of all the lost soldiers and untold sacrifices and stories of them that are missing from the long narrative of the planet. A Very sad and compelling piece.

    Full many a gem of purest ray serene
    The dark unfathom’d caves of ocean bear:
    Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
    And waste its sweetness on the desert air.

    http://www.blupete.com/Literature/Poetry/Elegy.htm

    Well done,

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  17. atrm61 says:

    How perspectives change!At least he was a hero in his life-some consolation that!A poignant piece,loved this unusual take:-)

    Like

  18. mike olley says:

    Blimey, Dawn, that brought us back to earth and the present day with a shock. Great piece.

    Like

  19. gingerpoetry says:

    as always, a remarkable story with an unexpected twist. My hope is, that nobody is forgotten as long there are people who think of him/her…
    Liebe Grüße
    Carmen

    Like

  20. Well written — with a bittersweet twist.

    Like

  21. Sandra says:

    A topical take on the prompt – nicely done. Liked it.

    Like

  22. Well, I have to add my compliments for a really well wrought and perceptive tale. Such a sad state of affairs, but beautifully told.

    Like

    • Thanks so much Lindaura! I really appreciate your feedback and time.

      I hope you saw my note on your post. I can’t seem to log on to comment (several attempts, over a few wks), so I will have to remain “anonymous.” Just figured out that I can comment that way. Really enjoyed your post as well. 🙂

      Like

  23. Nice twist at the end. So easily to dusted over with time and forgotten.

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  24. Jan Brown says:

    Heartbreakingly lovely.

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  25. This is a poignant and moving story. It’s so true that history only remembers a select few. Well done!

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  26. J. Milburn says:

    Wonderful story and one that perfectly captures the truth of wars through the ages, past, present and future (although I hold out hope that in the future humanity might find a way to not need soldiers to die anymore). Great work!

    Like

    • Thanks so much for visiting TFTM, and sharing your thoughtful and insightful feedback. I too am a bleeding heart hopeful gal, and I love to “imagine all the people, living life in peace…” Perhaps we are both (the best kind of) dreamers. Thanks for taking the time; it’s much appreciated by this dreamer. 🙂

      Like

  27. Superb.
    And so appropriate this weekend.
    A gem.

    Like

  28. MissTiffany says:

    How sad. Such dedication and honor and passion for his cause, yet ages have passed and no one remembers it.

    Like

  29. CherryPickens says:

    I read this, and my first thought was Shelley’s Ozymandias. You’ve done a remarkable job in this piece, and it’s an excellent read. It’s not just wars and soldiers that are one day forgotten; deeds and stone also fall to time.

    Like

    • Thanks so much CherryPickens. Indeed, it is NOT just soldiers and wars, but so much of human effort, nature, deeds and stones… it’s all is lost, in time… eventually. Your feedback is very kind and much appreciated; thank you!

      Like

  30. Al says:

    The end of that gave me goosebumps. It is a great story

    Like

  31. Must say it’s sad to realize that sooner or later dreams turn to stone and dust.

    Like

  32. Valery says:

    This one really got to me, being only a few months since I visited the military cemetery in France where my grandfather is buried. But all of your stories get to me, especially these finely-crafted shorties. They always leave me wanting more! I really need to have these fleshed out into a collection of short stories. So get right on that, now, will you dearie? 😉 Pretty please? I like this Susan, and detest the antiques dealer. Just from a few well-chosen words. Imagine the possibilities…

    Like

    • Thanks so much Valery! I was thinking about Veterans Day, and all of the soldiers, and all of the events in time, that have been lost in our memories. Of course, those we loved remain alive as long as we remember them. So glad this one touched you, and so glad to have such a wonderful fan. Thanks for taking the time!

      Sent from Dawn’s iPhone

      Like

  33. etomczyk says:

    Well done. There is a Bible verse in the book of Daniel, I believe, that says: “…and the new king knew him not.” Which basically means that he was hot sh*t in his day, but memory fades and with it so does all our previous glory and influence. It is very chilling and reminds me not to take myself too seriously. It is the same reaction I had when reading your post.

    Like

  34. pattisj says:

    Heroes, but so soon forgotten.

    Like

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