Friday Fictioneers: Leavin’ This House Full of Hard

friday-fictioneersWelcome to Friday Fictioneers– a most addictive weekly flash fiction challenge. Use the photo prompt to write a 100-word story and join this group of Kool Kats, from all over the world! Check out our fearless leader Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog Addicted Purple, to read more stories, learn more, or join in. The photo this week is from Lauren Moscato  via Amy Reese.

As always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback; please leave a comment and tell me what you think.

© Lauren Moscato

© Lauren Moscato

 Leavin’ This House Full of Hard

When I was little, mama told me to study hard and get my diploma; said an education was the only way outta this town.

Daddy worked his whole life in the factory– gettin’ up before the sun, and comin’ home after dinner. Mama kept his food warm– leavin’ the oven door cracked to keep us warm too. I don’t think daddy ever had a fresh cooked dinner, ‘cept on Easter and Christmas.

Sometimes it seemed there was nowhere to go but down– but I got a bus ticket and my diploma, and I’m sure not lookin’ back.

(97 words)

*     *     *

GIPYHelp Me Reach My Goals! I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 700 likes in 2015. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, where I’m forced to be brief. Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Honest, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  ©2014  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
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57 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: Leavin’ This House Full of Hard

  1. Mike Lince says:

    Where you do not reveal much of the character’s emotions, the image for this story fills in a lot about the hard life of growing up on the edge of poverty. I may have supplied my own emotional content, because I could personally relate to this story. I didn’t have it hard as a kid, but I sure couldn’t wait to get away from home once I had my diploma. You evoked emotion without writing it. I appreciate what you did there. – Mike


    • Thanks Mike. I wanted to leave out the emotional side of this story, as I think we all have our reasons for leaving… or not. But I wanted to tell it plain and simple, like the narrator. Thanks for the feedback, Mike. I always appreciate your view point!


  2. La La says:

    This is my neighborhood. I found all the interpretations interesting and this is one of my favorites!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I really like the voice in your story Dawn, and the idea of Daddy never having a fresh cooked dinner. It adds great authenticity


  4. Great story! She finally got outta that town! 🙂


  5. Excellently conveys that feeling of a hard life and the determination and courage that comes from it in just a few words. That was not my experience, but almost makes me feel like I know it.


  6. Thanks so much Perry. We are each forged by the place we come from, the people around us… it makes for a lot of unique stories. 😉


  7. plaridel says:

    i couldn’t help but pull for her. well done.


  8. hbksloss says:

    You have gotten so good at saying so much with so little!


  9. This sounds like some of the kids I grew up with and the way people there have of talking–dropping the “g”. The only difference is, many didn’t leave home. Akron, Ohio, had jobs available at the time. Many boys, who didn’t go to college, did go to work in the rubber factories. I went to work not far from home as a teacher. My dad always loved his job on the fire department, but his brother didn’t like working in the rubber shop. Well done as always. 🙂 — Suzanne


  10. Sandra says:

    I really liked the voice in this, emotionless, defiant, but best of all determined. Well done Dawn.


  11. helenmidgley says:

    I loved the way you didn’t write about emotions, just let the reader feel their own, fab 🙂


  12. Great interpretation of the prompt. It showed the determination of getting out of a difficult situation with a greater goal in mind. Powerful reveal of a struggling life. 😎Love it !!!


  13. I love the voice in this.


  14. milliethom says:

    I have to echo others here and say that I really love the narrator’s voice in your story. I get the impression of a very strong-minded and determined young woman, and the accent is well shown simply through the dropped letters. Very well done. 🙂


  15. Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Leavin’ This House Full of Hard | ugiridharaprasad

  16. The voice in this is matter-of-fact while being quite upbeat. Well done. Nowhere to go but up for this gal.


  17. Cathy Ulrich says:

    Matter of fact and to the point. What you leave out here says as much as what’s included. I think that’s true of any art form. There’s enough room to breathe, for the reader (or viewer) to fill in their own stories. For my part, I feel the love in this family…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Cathy! THAT is what I was working toward… I’m glad you saw it. 😀 So often, when we write in all of the emotion, the reader is trapped in it– there is no room for interpretation or thought. I probably could have included a bit more emotional content, but I had a specific voice in my head. (She said to the therapist 😉 )


  18. You say a lot in a few words, Dawn, and paint such a vivid picture with the little details. Lovely job. Happy Easter~

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Nan Falkner says:

    Dawn, This is an amazing story! You are so descriptive with your words and you do it well! Nan 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Dear Dawn,

    I’m with Sandra. I love the voice in this. Full of determination. I think there’s plenty of emotion, you just have to read between the lines.




  21. El Guapo says:

    You did a great job, painting a full sketch of their background in a few words.

    I’d have gone with something about the door being on the second floor. Yours is much better.


  22. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Dawn,

    Perfect title and fantastic story. Dialog and regional accent was spot on and the feel was graphic and gritty. I felt joy at the last when your protagonist escaped. Very well done.



    Liked by 1 person

  23. rgayer55 says:

    This could be clipped right out of the pages of early 20th century life. Long hard days in the factories and everybody looking for a way up and out for their children. Well written, Dawn.


  24. Thanks so much Russell; I really appreciate that feedback. In some places, I don’t think much is changed!


  25. I love wondering where you’re going to take the prompts. You never fail to to draw me in. Nice work.


  26. Margaret says:

    Great use of the prompt. The sad situation of the family is heartbreaking, but I’m glad he escaped.


  27. micklively says:

    I like the way this fits together, the way you develop the theme. Well done.


  28. Susan Langer says:

    Real story there. So many can understand because it happened to them.



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