Friday Fictioneers: When The Spirit Moves You


I’m not sure where this one comes from… but I looked at the photo, and a few minutes later, there were exactly 100 words. I cut three. “When the spirit moves you…” I’ve so missed my wonderful fellow Fictioneers, but I’ve been traveling and busy de-cluttering–– making room for change.

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction challenge. Use the photo prompt to weave a 100-word story. Master of Ceremonies is Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Visit her blog, Addicted to Purple for more details, or to join our merry band. This week’s photo is from J. Hardy Carroll.

As always I welcome honest, constructive feedback; please leave a comment and tell me what you think.

© J. Hardy Carroll

© J. Hardy Carroll

When The Spirit Moves You

“I still talk to you.

Just before I fall asleep, I feel you there beside me. Sometimes, I put my hand on the mattress and think I can still feel your weight, your heat… but the mattress has shifted. I drift off with my hand brushing the air.

When the leaves are changing, and I remember how we laid in their sweet decay, I say your name aloud and feel you wrap your arms around me. I pull my sweater tighter, warm and safe.

Today, I sit beside your gravestone, calling your name, but you’re not here.”

(word count: 97)

*   *   *

GIPYHelp Me Reach My Goals!   KAPOW!  The Tales From the Motherland Facebook page recently hit the 2015 goal of 800 likes (which I set after hitting the 700 mark)! I’m going big for the next year and aiming for 1,000!! Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, LeBron James does (yes, for real)! Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. Honest, constructive feedback is always appreciated. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email,  no spam.  ©2015  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, I’m grateful, but please give proper credit; plagiarism sucks!

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
Aside | This entry was posted in Honest observations on many things and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

62 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: When The Spirit Moves You

  1. It’s lovely, really touching. I’m a fan of cemeteries and find they often inspire me to write as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jellico84 says:

    You could be writing a very memory out of my own life. Thank you for it. It is good to remember the “one” on this day in particular.

    Like

    • Welcome to Tales From the Motherland, Jellico84, thanks so much for taking the time to read my piece and share your thoughts. I’m sorry for your loss, but touched that you feel connection in reading my story. Thanks so much for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. That is lovely. I do like the leaves “in their sweet decay”.

    Like

  4. Dear Dawn,

    I’m happy to see you back. 😀

    A very touching story that tugs at the heartstrings. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  5. Very touching and extremely well-written. As for me, though, I’m against the concept of dying and I’m probably going to do away with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I personally do not believe our loved ones are in their graves. My sister says our parents take turns visiting the three of us.
    I just take her word for it.

    Like

  7. mamaheidi60 says:

    So poignant. This called up several images and memories for me. Your words create great images! It’s a nice balance between calling up images, but leaving space for my own.

    Like

  8. Good piece.
    Would “you are no longer here” work better because clearly she thinks he was there at one point?
    Probably trivial but it flows better for me with the added “no longer”.

    Like

  9. jgroeber says:

    Always love to see a post from you in my inbox. As I slog through writing every day this month, I think of you and how much your chutzpah inspires me. Cheers to you and a beautiful post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks friend. That means so much. I wish I was slogging through writing, but I think that all the de-cluttering I’ve been doing is simply preparation for movement forward. Fingers crossed! May the writing Gods remain with you. xox

      Like

  10. Mike Lince says:

    I felt the same vibe as that about which you wrote when I saw this week’s photo. Of course, feeling the vibe and being moved to write are two different things. Thank goodness I can count on your writing talents to put words to the vibe. I especially like the added memory, rolling in leaves together, projected into the scene. That was a nice seasonal touch. – Mike

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Amy Reese says:

    Nice, Dawn. Good to see you, friend! I tend to think the gravestone is not where we feel our loved ones. There have better ideas where they want to be. It makes totally understand people who don’t get a headstone, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Sandra says:

    Nicely reflective and very moving. Glad to see you back.

    Like

  13. Really touching story, Dawn. Well written as usual. Welcome back. — Suzanne J.

    Like

  14. micklively says:

    A clever portrait of bereavement: well done.

    Like

  15. helenmidgley says:

    Touchingly beautiful, nice to see you back 🙂

    Like

  16. Dale says:

    Aww Dawn, this was most touching and deeply felt by me. Mick is not buried in a grave but rests inside a Coke bottle on my mantle – for now. I know, I can see you scratching your head!
    http://adelectablelife.com/2014/12/29/a-little-heart-to-heart/ to help clarify!

    Like

  17. rgayer55 says:

    I never go fishing of hunting without feeling the presence of my Dad. Sure, there’s a marker at the cemetery that has his and Mom’s name on it, but they’re not there unless one of us comes to visit.
    Very touching, Dawn.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Russell. I’m always doubly moved when I get a serious response from you… and, I will always feel my father when I am amongst old growth trees, on a wide rocky beach, or in Carmel, CA. I’ve only been to his gravesite a few times, but he wasn’t there. Thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts. xox

      Like

  18. hafong says:

    Enjoy your ‘spirit’ from someone who sees and feels spirits. 🙂

    Lily

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Touching and you can feel the longing. Nice job capturing all this with only 97 words!

    Like

  20. liz young says:

    Sweet sadness – lovely story. I’ve been absent for a month too – sometimes life gets in the way of writing, doesn’t it?

    Like

  21. I, too, like “laid in their sweet decay.” It follows the flow of death and yearning.

    Like

  22. Oliana says:

    Ouf! a tear jerker this one, beautifully written. I could see my mother the year my step-father passed, she felt his presence by her side for over a year and then he left and then she grieved for the first time.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. gahlearner says:

    This is so moving, and very beautiful.

    Like

  24. A lovely recollection of a bond that is broken only with death.
    Your story touches the heart in a way none of us want to know ~ death of a love we’ll forever miss.
    I must go and finish crying now. 😂
    Isadora 😎

    Like

  25. Hauntingly sad and moving

    Like

  26. subroto says:

    A touching and poignant story, beautifully done.

    Like

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