Friday Fictioneers: End Of The Diet


I’ve been hibernating. Injured back, too much on my plate, heavy stuff and too much rain… feeling bad that I haven’t been able to keep up with reading other stories… take your pick; I had to take a break. But oh, those photo prompts tease me! They sit in my inbox, urging me to come back and play. This week, Dale Rogerson’s photo won out. And so, here is my tale for the week. As always I welcome honest, constructive feedback. Thanks Kate for reading an oldie and testing that theory!

If you’d like to give Friday Fictioneers a try, check out Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog Addicted to Purple. She keeps runs this show flawlessly!

dale-rogerson-pizza

© Dale Rogersons

 

The End of Diets

 

“Fuck’m ifee cantake a joke,” she slurred.

A chill hit her shoulders, and she sank deeper into the warmth. A half slice of pizza dangled beside her glass of wine. She pushed it back from the edge with one wet toe, as remnants of her favorite dinner grew cold.

She rubbed tears, which had begun again.

“Thre’s not nuf moisturizer to make me that youngandthin agin.” Her voice grew thicker as the room spun in and out of focus.

The phone rang–– him, calling with more lies. She slipped beneath the scarlet water as it all faded away.

(98 words)

*     *     *

GIPYKAPOW!  I didn’t meet the 2016 goal for Likes on the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page; missed it by 14! So this year, I’m not setting a goal. I’m grateful for each Like I get. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, LeBron James does (yes, for real)! Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. Honest, constructive feedback is always appreciated. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email,  no spam.

©2011-2017  All content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, I’m grateful, but please give proper credit and Link back to my work; plagiarism sucks!

 

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
Aside | This entry was posted in Blog, Flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, Honest observations on many things, Suicide, Tales From the Motherland, Wrting and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: End Of The Diet

  1. I think I am going to scream!!! I just wrote the most wonderful comment and the WordPress app ate it! Arrrgh!

    I hope this one will send.

    I loved the story and the post. I got a mention! How cool is that? The story seamlessly included so many details from the photo prompt. It was sad and funny, too. I love the detail of her toe pushing the pizza and the crack she makes about the moisturiser!

    Happy Easter Dawn. 🐰🐣🐰

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Need to add that the bit I found funny was the crack about the moisturiser. Overall it is very melancholy.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. neilmacdon says:

    Yikes! Dawn! This is awful, but it’s awfully good

    Like

  4. rgayer55 says:

    Wow, great slurred dialogue. That’s hard to write well and you did a fantastic job. As for the story, talk about drowning your sorrows. He’s not worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • No doubt, he isn’t worth it, Russell. Thanks for the slur feedback. Clearly a misuse of word count, but I tried playing with the words, and then typing them as I said them. Glad it came off well.Maybe not for the protagonist, but the reader is what matters to me! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Dawn,

    That’s one way to end a diet. Chilling and well written. Hope your back’s on the mend.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  6. Cathy Ulrich says:

    There’s a lot of emotion in this 98 words, Dawn. Hope your back is improving. I know of a good Rolfer, but she’s in Colorado. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • A trip to CO is probably exactly what I need! Interestingly, I spent Passover with a wonderful local Rolfer, and he knows who you are! I was talking to him about Rolfing and laser, and then told him about you… he said “Oh Cathy, I’ve heard of her!” Wow, small, wonderful world. He’s an amazing person too. xo

      Like

  7. Dale says:

    Oh Dawn, what a fabulous job you did with this one…
    Though, frankly, there’s no man alive (or dead) worth losing her life over…
    And I so hope your back is on the mend

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Carrie Rubin says:

    Sorry to hear about your back. Hope it heals soon. But I’m glad to see it hasn’t affected your ability to create great flash fiction. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much Carrie! Always great to see your gravatar; makes my day! Turns out it wasn’t my back, but an old and very poorly fused broken tailbone… big mess, but at least we’re on the right trail now. It’s been a rough ride… no pun intended. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  9. michael1148humphris says:

    Grim but realistic, well done, look after that back,

    Like

  10. Ouch! That ending is . . . Perfectly sad.

    Like

  11. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    Wow, I loved the dialogue and picture of heartbreak that you painted.

    Like

  12. goroyboy says:

    Baptism in a bad way ….

    Like

  13. liz young says:

    No man is worth that – tell her to wake up and breathe the freedom!

    Like

  14. Amy Reese says:

    I love the slurring dialogue and the “scarlet water” just all at once grabbed me. A very sad scene, effectively written. So glad you’re back! The rain has been crazy on the west coast, hasn’t it? We’ve had quite a bit too. Hope your back is feeling better.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Michael Wynn says:

    You did a great job here leading up to the awful image of the scarlet water. Well done

    Like

  16. Sarah Ann says:

    So well done. I didn’t see where this was going until the scarlet water, but on re-reading saw the where you’d inserted the clues – wet toe, sinking into warmth.
    Hope she has the time to sober up and pull herself out.

    Like

  17. I liked how the story unfolded and the use of ‘scarlet water’ as the description.

    Like

  18. Great to see you creating again, Dawn. As always, you pack so much in these short pieces– dialogue and imagery. Scarlet water– loved that! Rest, relax and I do hope you will ease back into the writing more. Be well and take care of YOU.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. plaridel says:

    sad. i sensed she committed suicide based on the water turning scarlet.

    Like

  20. yuhublogger says:

    The slurry words and the use of ‘scarlet water’ are brilliant!

    Like

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT; I'M LISTENING.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s