Friday Fictioneers: End of the Road


It’s been a long time, looking at photo prompts each week and feeling stuck. This one just spoke to me, and the story wrote itself in ten minutes–– a sweet spot, after a long dry spell. Great shot, Russell! If you’d like to read more stories, or join in, check out Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s blog, Addicted to Purple. As always, honest constructive feedback is appreciated; please leave a comment.

russells-bw

©RussellGayer

 

End of the Road

Maggie lifted the last box and headed for the door. Her back ached from loading the meager but heavy belongings from the crumbling house.

“John, can you take this one to the truck; I need a minute.”

“Take your time.” Her husband ran is hand down her back, glanced around, and left her alone.

Years of financial struggles, no health insurance, and job worries had lead to a steady disregard for home repairs, in the house they bought when they married.

Now there was no hope.

“It’s all in the toilet,” she murmured as she walked out into the cold.

(exactly 100 words)

*     *     *

GIPYPlease share your thoughts in the comments. I want to hear what you have to say.

KAPOW!  I didn’t meet the 2016 goal for Likes on the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page; missed it by 14! So this year, I’m not setting a goal. I’m grateful for each Like I get. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, LeBron James does (yes, for real)! Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. Honest, constructive feedback is always appreciated. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email,  no spam.

©2011-2017  All content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, I’m grateful, but please give proper credit and Link back to my work; plagiarism sucks!

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
Aside | This entry was posted in Flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, Honest observations on many things, Tales From the Motherland, Writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

48 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: End of the Road

  1. Dear Dawn,

    You must’ve heard my thoughts today. I’m happy to see your face in the Hollywood Squares, as What’s His Name puts it.
    Gut wrenching and too true to life story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dale says:

    So heartbreaking… but may be a chance to start over…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. good to see you writing.. and writing well.

    Like

  4. Brilliant! And searingly sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Its pathetic and the punch in the end line!

    Like

  6. Mike says:

    We been up. We been down. It doesn’t matter. It is the journey that counts — as long as they love each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Dawn, LeBron reads your stories because you are a good writer! Very well done but oh so very sad too. Hopelessness IS just like the toilet. Well done!

    Like

  8. Iain Kelly says:

    Such a shame, I like to imagine they are moving onto something better.

    Like

  9. pennygadd51 says:

    That’s such a sad story and increasingly common I fear. I really enjoyed the subtle way you told us that love was still alive in their marriage. So clever! Just John running his hand down her back. Not merely is that an intimate caress, but it ties in with her aching back. John had noticed her pain, and wanted to ease it.
    As well as being sad, that story makes me angry. There is absolutely no need for people to suffer like that. It’s the greed of a very small number. There’s plenty to go round if it was shared fairly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I so agree with everything you say here Penny! I appreciate that you noticed the subtler piece that I wanted to convey. Yes, they still have love. 🙂 Thank you for stopping by Tales From the Motherland; I appreciate your feedback!

      Like

  10. Sandra says:

    How lovely to see you back, Dawn, and with your usual flair too. It sounds like they have each other. For the time being, anyway…

    Like

    • Thanks Sandra; it’s so wonderful to see all the faces I’ve missed so much! Seriously. It’s been a hard year, and my writing has suffered, but I was so happy to see this post and dive in. It’s icing on the cake, that anyone takes the time… Headed to Israel tomorrow, and will catch up on reading then! Thanks for your encouragement; it always touches me. xo

      Liked by 1 person

  11. ellenbest24 says:

    Unfortunately shit happens! Should be the tagline. good response to the prompt.

    Like

  12. rgayer55 says:

    Good one, Dawn. If you’re taking Paul Lynde for the block, I’ll take Charlie Weaver.
    Sounds like these two had a rough row to hoe. Hopefully, things will improve for them on down the road.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Such a beautifully written, so sad story!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  14. A sad tale. The other side of the American Dream. Where hope and love seem to have failed, does forgiveness still exist?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    Beautifully crafted piece. Her sadness dripped from every word.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Nancy says:

    Brilliant. I know someone already said that, but it was my first response.As Congress’s new tax bill gets closer to reality, I fear your story will become so many people’s stories. When I received our property tax bill the other day, I looked at this year’s $800 increase (the usual) and said we either stop fixing what’s old or broken or move. I don’t want to move, but …

    Like

    • Nancy, I’m so sorry to hear that. I tagged the tax bill in this piece, as that’s exactly what I was thinking about when I wrote this. I fear a lot of people will be facing harder times. Thanks for your perceptive comment!

      Like

  17. Happy to see you here! This story draws in so much life’s disappointments.
    And “Now there was no hope” pulls it all together.

    Like

  18. liz young says:

    So sad, yet there are people facing similar scenarios all the time.

    Like

  19. Life is so full of ups and downs… I just hope that they can build something new when everything’s lost. It only takes one streak of good fortune (or hard work)

    Like

  20. Welcome back, Dawn. Great use of the prompt to describe the terrible position they find themselves in. Good writing as always. —- Suzanne

    Like

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