The un-real world of Disney Women © Disney

The un-real world of Disney Women
© Disney

Note:  November 25th, is the U.N.’s International Day To End Violence Against Women. In recognition of the day, something I believe is important every day, I plan to share a few posts this month that look at how women are viewed and treated in society– and how that may contribute to the problem.

When women are sexualized and compartmentalized, on so many levels, it’s not hard to see why they are victimized in such huge numbers.

I’m not an expert on the topic, and I’m sure there are much more complex theories out there; however, whether it’s unrealistic Disney characters or how our girls are expected to dress at school, these issues are relevant to the larger issue of inequality and abuse of women. Join the discussion! Share these posts, or contribute your own thoughts in the comment section.

GIPY

Tinker Bell by GIPY

I grew up on Disney and their magic. Every Sunday night, I waited for the iconic music and the image of Tinker Bell, spreading pixie dust over the Disney castle, to make my weekend complete. I ached to go see that castle in person, and was sure Tink was real. Though a tad haughty, she remains my all-time favorite.

As an even younger child, some of my earliest memories are of dancing around my paternal grandmother’s cast iron coffee table, as my brother and I listened to the albums Bambi and Mary Poppins… yes, albums. They came with color print inserts, that you could follow along on. My brother and I made our own fun– imagining the hunters coming or skipping with our invisible kites. We sang and danced for hours in that tiny living room, swept up in the magic that Disney does so well.

My maternal grandmother took me to Disneyland when I was five and a half, and my new baby sister’s birth required that my mother rest. My aunt Pam was only 11, and we were “tickled pink” to be in the Magic Kingdom! I can still remember the Small World that made mine grow exponentially, and my determined effort to be as cool as my aunt. Later, our family would visit Disney World– which truly is worlds bigger than the land that started it all! To this day, the clean perfection of Disney World does something to me that doesn’t exactly gel with my other world-views. I know it’s plastic; it’s a money pit; it’s un-environmental on a million levels– I know all the reasons why Disney World should annoy me, but I love the place, and the sense of fantasy that comes back to me when I’m there.

As my own children were growing up, they too were fans of the Disney franchise. Each new movie swept them away, and I got to continue seeing them, in the name of parenting. Principessa, my now 24 year-old daughter, and my first-born, was totally besotted with The Little Mermaid. She would stare at the screen in a trance. She knew every word, every song– every gesture. When Belle came along, she learned to twirl around our small living room in Chicago, and yell “the beast!” She posed for most pictures with her hand tilted under her chin, á la every Disney heroine ever seen. And my boys were no less enthusiastic about Lion King, Aladdin, and each of the Toy Story movies. Disney has been a part of my life for… all of my life.

The making of a princess: 

However, it didn’t take becoming a parent to notice some Disney trends that have certainly challenged me. It has always bothered me that Disney feels compelled to kill off mothers. Hello? What’s up with all the dead mommies, Walt (and all the Disney guys since)?  Snow White (the first Disney full length film): dead mom, evil step-mother (Freud would have a field day!); Bambi: slaughtered mom; Peter Pan: lost boys– no mommies; Cinderella, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin (neither Aladdin nor Yasmin had mothers)… character after Disney character without mothers.

Beyond the lack of mother figures, or mean step-mother figures, it’s hard to be a mother of a daughter and not notice that most of Disney’s female characters are demure, sexualized, and beautiful… unnaturally beautiful. They all have doe-like eyes, tiny waists, perfect bust lines, gorgeous hair– they’re all just a tad too… perfect. And while I know they’re cartoon characters, they are all just perfect in a way that just isn’t… real. What does that teach our daughters about how they look and how they should act, to appear more like the characters they admire?

Recently I’ve seen two separate visuals about the ways in which Disney women/girls are portrayed in highly unrealistic ways, that perpetuate unreasonable expectations for young girls, and admittedly, each picture and point had me nodding my head and wondering how I allowed my own girl to idolize these unreasonable standards of femininity, and how did those early messages influence how they feel about themselves in life, when they don’t look like the heroines they have admired. Poor Barbie has taken a beating in recent years, but Disney remains a favorite.

What I find most disturbing about these photos is that once you look at the images on the right, the “realistic” animations, the originals look so wrong– actually the originals are much more distorted than I realized before. And, the “realistic” characters are not way out there folks; their bodies are adjusted to a fairly slim version of real. Why oh why can’t Disney just do it real in the first place? (images from Loryn Brantz at Buzzfeed)

I know this blog post isn’t going to change the world; it isn’t going to change violence against women, or how they’re viewed, and it certainly isn’t going to change the “magical world of Disney–” but it’s a step forward.  From an early age to now, it’s been a love-hate affair for me, with Disney. While I have long enjoyed their special brand of magic, as a mother, as a woman, I wish they would use some of their immense influence, to lead the way in bringing stronger female role models, who do not represent a distorted physical image, that is impossible to attain. What an incredible thing it would be, if Disney stepped up and helped a new generation of girls and boys see that girls are not just delicate, pretty things, who win in the end by batting their eyes and finding a prince, but by being determined, intelligent, adventurous, and strong– in bodies that are strong and accurately represented.

As we look at the continued assaults on women, all over the world, and how girls and women are viewed, maybe it’s time we all take a closer look at what we set in front our daughters, as examples of femininity, from the start.  The characters in these animated movies are often some of the earliest role models and heroines our daughters, nieces, sisters… we, see and try to emulate. They sing their songs; dress like them for Halloween, and carry them in their hearts as the young women they look up to. That has been true since I was a girl. It’s time that we all get real, and help girls and women see themselves as the strong, capable, beautiful people we are… just as we are– not as some artist imagines us. Disney, let’s get real!

For a compelling look at one family’s withdrawal from all things Disney, check out this blog: http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/blog/one-familys-bold-experiment-year-without-disney

These visuals are pretty compelling as well! Is it that hard to be real in that magical world?

Ariel

If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
Walt Disney Pictures
If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
BuzzFeed / Walt Disney Pictures

Jasmine

If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
Walt Disney Pictures
If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
BuzzFeed / Walt Disney Pictures

Belle

If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
Walt Disney Pictures
If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
BuzzFeed / Walt Disney Pictures

Pocahontas

If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
Walt Disney Pictures
If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
BuzzFeed / Walt Disney Pictures

Cinderella

If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
Walt Disney Pictures
If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
BuzzFeed / Walt Disney Pictures

Snow White

If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
Walt Disney Pictures
If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
BuzzFeed / Walt Disney Pictures

Mulan

If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
Walt Disney Pictures
If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
BuzzFeed / Walt Disney Pictures

Aurora

If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes
Walt Disney Pictures
If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes

Also read: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/30/disney-princess-real-waistline_n_6076634.html

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fanpop.com

fanpop.com

Make me smile; and HELP ME REACH MY GOAL:  I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I’m forced to be brief.  Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Honest, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  © 2014  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.

Posted on by Dawn Quyle Landau | 37 Comments

friday-fictioneersAnother week of wild and wonderful stories from the Friday Fictioneers brigade! Rochelle Wisoff-Fields leads the fun, and this week provides the photo prompt. The challenge: write a 100-word story: with a beginning, middle and end, using the photo provided. Check out Rochelle’s blog, Addicted to Purple to read the other stories, or join in the fun. It’s where all the kool kids are playing.

I always welcome honest, kind or constructive feedback. Please leave a comment!

©Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

©Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 All That Glitters… (100 words, exactly)

Marlene stacked the heavy boxes one on top of the other at the back of the store. The afternoon rush left the supplies of bobble head Johnny Depps, sparkly palm trees and playing cards nearly empty. Her feet hurt from running up the aisles to grab merchandise; her head hurt from answering inane questions.

“Do you see many celebrities?” “Got any maps of stars’ houses?” “Is it so exciting living in Hollywood?”

It was endless– the silly things people said while picking out chotchkies.

When I’m a star, I’ll never look back, she thought, as she restocked snow globes.

*     *     *

Make me smile; and HELP ME REACH MY GOAL:  I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I’m forced to be brief.  Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Honest, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  © 2014  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit.

Posted on by Dawn Quyle Landau | 49 Comments
Little Man, stepping off into a big, bright future.
Little Man, stepping off into a big, bright future.

On June 7, 2014 my youngest child, Little Man, walked across the stage at a local college gymnasium and got his high school diploma. As it was when his older sister and then his older brother did it, the day was filled with emotions that cover the spectrum. I was proud of him for sticking it out and getting there, when school was never an easy thing for him. I was happy that he could exhale and take a little break from all that effort (having decided to take a “gap year”). It was emotional knowing that my last “baby” is really growing up– though I have come to understand that 18 is the new 15, and this in no way means my nest is truly empty. Even if he were going off to a 4-year college and moving out, it ‘aint even over when they walk across that other stage! ‘Cause 22 is the new 17– and they often come back!  *Do not question my math!

If you’ve ever been in a gymnasium, watching your youngest child finish twelve years of school–

Twelve years of hand-holding; birthday parties; play dates; schoolwork and school friends; parent-teacher conferences; field tripping and chaperoning; worrying and celebrating; sports events, and dances… twelve years of watching your child work toward going out in the world on their own– then you know how a mother’s heart can expand and surge, fracture and grow. You know the taste of bitter-sweet. That moment was precious and overwhelming all at the same time.

When my older daughter and older son graduated from high school it was emotional as well. Watching your oldest child take those first steps into adulthood is certainly transformative. There are no previous touchstones; it’s all new and impactful. Our girl is such a free spirit, such a self-driven individual. It was amazing and emotional to see my baby finish the first phase of school and life. I cried me a river, channeled by equal parts joy and loss. It was no easier when my middle son did it. He was attending a challenging boarding school, living and going to school an hour away from us– I was so proud of him when he walked across the stage to get his diploma. Sacrifices were made on all sides, for him to reach those goals, and we all breathed a collective sigh of relief and joy, to see him succeed and move on.

I watched my two older children graduate from high school and move on to college. I cheered them and supported them as they navigated living away from home– Principessa: in Massachusetts, 3,000 miles away, and Middle Man in California, just a two-hour flight. They both graduated college, and have flown afar. It hasn’t always been easy; there have been countless speed bumps.  She went off to Israel, where she now lives full-time, and he did half a year in China and is now in Australia for a year. As I’ve written previously, there are so many adjustments as your children grow up and move on. You come to accept that they are no longer in your care and watch– or, you become a neurotic mess. They are out there living their own lives, and as a parent you can only sit back and hope for, and wish them the best.

Even though I’ve been through this two other times, watching my youngest son graduate from high school was transformative, in a much bigger way than I anticipated.

My youngest, Little Man, grew up in the community where we have now lived for thirteen years. He started kindergarten here and graduated from high school here in June. As a stay at home mother, I have been very involved in my children’s school lives, and particularly in the case of my youngest, that has involved many years of working side by side with so many players in so many roles. It has involved watching him struggle and succeed, and make his way to that day. Somehow, watching him graduate, I felt as if it all was happening in slow motion, as we both exited the arena we’ve both been in for all these years.

As I sat at graduation this time, I looked around the huge room and took in so many faces that I’ve known for years and years. Many of those faces have been a part of my son’s life– they’ve encouraged him, they’ve chaperoned him, they’ve baked for, cheered for, and witnessed countless moments in his life, and many of these same faces have walked side by side with me. While many of them have embraced me, many have not; we have not always been friends, but there we all sat, feeling many of the same things: a wellspring of so many emotions.

As all of this swirled around my head, and I craned my neck to see my boy’s anticipatory expressions, as I watched he and his classmates take in these moments of transition, I realized that my life was spinning into an enormous new zone that is entirely foreign to me. Empty nest is over used. It’s a fun and universally known phrase to throw around when talking to people, but it doesn’t begin to address what it feels like as you arrive there. What’s the nest? Is it the house you’ve all lived in? Is it the seasons of your children’s lives bundled together? Is it your mother-heart? Your life as a family? What is the nest, and is it really empty? That thought has swirled in my head for months now, as I begin to wade through this new phase.

Little Man turned 18 this summer. He is taking classes locally and working at the grocery store where I shop all of the time; he’s living at home for now. My nest is not empty, if we look at my home and our daily comings and goings. It’s quieter, but not empty.  But, when I reflect on where I was 18 years ago, when we were starting out together, it was an entirely different world, an entirely different perspective. If I go back two more steps, to the arrival of my first child, I was 27 years old. That is stunning to me! My own daughter is three years away from that age now. I was starting out as a mother and heading into some of the most amazing years of my life. Age seemed a silly number to me, then. I had no clue what it all meant, or how to really appreciate those moments. I was so busy! When Little Man walked across that stage, and stepped off into his future, he unknowingly launched into some of the most amazing years of his life!  The launch looks very different to me– those same 18 years will see me turning 70… Seventy years old!

It takes my breath away.

It’s unreal to imagine those years are before me, when I can so easily remember my young babies, and I’m still circling the nest we shared. I can still see their nursing faces close to my skin, and recall their sweet early years. But I can’t begin to imagine myself as a 70-year old woman. I can’t honestly see the road ahead. As scary as that is, it is also freeing. The day my boy graduated, in a sense, so did I. I’ve realized, more than ever, that these years can’t be wasted. There are no guarantees, and while there never were, that fact is a lot clearer now. I can’t waste my energies on anything that doesn’t bring me joy, that doesn’t fill me up. I don’t have room for people, things or situations that suck the sparkle out of me, and I don’t want to suck anyone else’s from them.

I wish it was easy, but it isn’t.

I can certainly see the writing on the wall, but I don’t always get it– still.  In fact, I often don’t get it. I don’t always know the way and I feel lost. If you’ve read this blog long enough, you know that I’m my own worst enemy. I’ve certainly read the wonderfully supportive comments and the thoughtful suggestions; I’m grateful for the support and wisdom. I’ve worked on all of this long enough, that logically I should be past it, but it’s clearer and clearer to me that the road is not straight; it’s not even, and it’s certainly not easy. There comes a time when you either get that some people don’t want to play with you– no matter how many times they like your Facebook status or smile at you in public; that wanting something– working hard for it, doesn’t mean it’s going to work out (and you can find yourself paralyzed in seeking your own dreams), and that the clock is just keeps ticking– or you are destined to wander lost, forever.  Tick, tock, tick!

My daughter sent me this 1+ minute video, recently, and it really struck a chord.

      This is where I am. I’m a lobster. 

I am a lobster, who has grown out of its shell; I’m a lobster that had to get very uncomfortable to move on and find a new shell. I’m a lobster, and that’s a good thing.

Graduation day was huge this time around. I know Little Man will be fine– in fact, he’ll be great! His high school graduation is just the beginning of some amazing times to come. For me, it’s the start of a very different time in my life. It’s a time for me to pull back and figure out what I really want, what kind of shell will fit now. It’s not a time to chase my tail or race down one-way streets. A good friend recently noted that deciding to really be true to what is best for you can sometimes make for some lonely days and nights. So true! But, I’m no longer afraid of being quiet; I don’t need to fill the space. I’m not aching to be included anymore, and I’m fine sitting by myself– at home, at a café, at lunch. I’m grateful for the friends I have, and the amazing life I’ve had. None of it’s a given; I’ve worked hard for it. This next twenty-four years will be very different than the last twenty-four, and while my boy got the diploma in June, I feel like– at 51, I’ve finally graduated too.

Headed in different directions, but both graduates...

Headed in different directions, but both graduates…

This song was played at my high school graduation practice, in 1981– sung by the incomparable Stevie Nicks, who wrote it when she was much younger too. As I walked into our high school gym, beside my friends and classmates, I heard it and was touched– but I didn’t really get it.  All these years later, I finally understand what it means.

“Time makes you bolder; children get older… and I’m getting older too.”

*     *     *

Make me smile; and HELP ME REACH MY GOAL:  I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I’m forced to be brief.  Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Honest, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  © 2014  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.

Posted on by Dawn Quyle Landau | 36 Comments

friday-fictioneersThis week’s photo stumped me. I had a story idea right away– a couple of ideas, but none of them felt just right. I went for playful, period influenced, noir’ish. Not my usual approach, but it’s where the words took me. As always, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome.

Friday Fictioneers is brought to you each week by the indomitable Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Use the photo prompt, provided this week by Jean L. Hays, to inspire a 100-word story, with a beginning, middle and end. You can find more information and the other stories, on Rochelle’s blog, Addicted to Purple.

Jean L. Hays

Jean L. Hays

Guys and Dolls (95 words)

“Why you lookin’ so glum, doll? I thought we was celebratin’.”

“It seems like you don’t really notice me Joey.”

“What’ya talking about baby? You’re a knock out. I love that red get up.”

“See, that’s what I mean; you don’t notice me, just what I’m wearin’. ”

“What’s wrong with that. You’re a looker, shouldn’t I look… What else is there?”

“You don’t get it; you just plow along. We could talk ya’ know– ask me what I want to do or what I’m thinkin’ about.”

“Uh, yeah… ok, whered’ya get that red number?”

 

*     *     *

Make me smile; and HELP ME REACH MY GOAL:  I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I’m forced to be brief.  Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Honest, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  © 2014  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.

 

Posted on by Dawn Quyle Landau | 50 Comments

IMG_1234

In the first few days of our two-week trip to Fiji, Smart Guy and I were truly blown away by the natural beauty of the place. Hard not to be; it’s stunning beyond stunning. Crystal clear waters in more shades of blue than I knew existed, and an underwater world like the best aquarium you’ve ever seen, color, color, color everywhere; what’s not to love? We were blown away, from the time we got off the plane!

But everywhere we went, we heard the same thing: it’s about the people of Fiji. You hear that a lot when you travel to other countries, and generally it’s true. But, we heard it differently in Fiji. People said it with such emotion. I’ll admit it; I was a bit skeptical. As one commenter, Renata, noted in my last post on Fiji (see comments section): these people are being paid to be nice to me; they have to be kind, funny, and helpful. But that’s selling the people of Fiji short; it’s a view that is based on a jaded western concept of service and obligation, that isn’t the same in Fiji. What Renata clearly doesn’t understand, is that the people of Fiji are different than we are; they are truly special. Their smiles light up a space, in an already bright and colorful world. They sing greetings of welcome and songs of farewell, in voices full of soul and heart. They sing from a pride in place and culture, and not just for a tip.

In fact tipping in Fiji is not expected– like many European countries, their service industry is not based on tips. While many places accept and appreciate tips, this is a newer change and still not widely expected. At both islands that we stayed on, Matangi Private Island Resort and Turtle Island Resort, tipping was part of a decision made at departure. Turtle Island is fully all-inclusive, with the exception of the spa, while Matangi included all food and many activities but did not include alcohol and spa activities. As with any all-inclusive, one of the enormous perks is that you are not constantly worrying about prices; that’s done up front– Fiji is an expensive place to travel to, but worth it!

Sireli was always there with as smile, a "bula," and a gorgeous pink flower.

Sireli was always there with as smile, a “bula,” and a gorgeous pink flower.

This was a unique travel choice for us, for many reasons– first and foremost is that we rarely stay at resorts, and virtually never choose all-inclusives. However, this time we opted for two weeks of truly disconnecting with all the thought that goes into many vacations, and reconnecting with each other, and we never looked back. We wondered if things would be a bit perfunctory, if an all-inclusive would make things robotic or impersonal– not the case at all, and again,– that’s because the Fijian people are truly remarkable.

Everywhere we went we were greeted warmly, warmly, with “Bula!” There was an ease in communication that was magic. If I’d preferred to be treated like a guest only, that would have been what I got, but I wanted to connect, and we did. Every night I was one of the last, or the last to leave the kava bowl. We gathered nightly in community, at Turtle Island, and sang songs– I let go of any insecurity about my voice and sang loud and proud, and I was rewarded with warmer smiles, and enthusiastic pats on the backs, or hugs– from people who can sing like songbirds. At Matangi I shared meaningful conversations about life and personal choices. Both places, we laughed as we talked about marriage and children, as I would here with my friends. We swam together; we spontaneously danced together on the beach, for a spectacular sunset; we laughed; we made pyramids on the beach; we sang… and we sang some more.

Renata is right to a point. Inequalities in life can create gulfs that cause us to treat each other inauthentically and keep us from connecting for real. However, a smile and a sincere heart are the ultimate game changers. I brought both to Fiji and was given the same in return.  I will long remember the spectacular blue waters that surround the nation of Fiji. I will remember the endless song, the sweet air and the wonderful smells and sounds. I will miss the incredible snorkeling– with countless fish and fantastic coral. I will miss Fiji for a long, long time; its many wonders will linger in my dreams and daily thoughts. But, it’s the people I will truly remember and miss most … until I return.

Thank you to Bidi, Litty, Kay, Bette, Winnie, Sireli, Marica, Cynthia, Flora, Noel, Christene, Simmy, Nemo, Soro, Rini, Ato (R2D2), Tommy, Losalini, Ben, Sam, Matt, Gerry, Lu, Kobi, Lai, Ana, Kata, Nai, Alison, Bill… and all of the wonderful people whose names I can’t spell or say properly, at both Matangi Private Island Resort, and Turtle Island Resort. All of you made our two weeks magical beyond magical. You hear it all of the time, but it’s true: YOU are the heart of Fiji. You are what makes it special. Don’t forget it! Vanaka vakalevu!

Listen to the beautiful sounds of the Turtle Island Choir and staff:

Read Part 1 of my Fiji adventure, here.

*     *     *

Make me smile; and HELP ME REACH MY GOAL:  I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I’m forced to be brief.  Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Honest, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  © 2014  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.

 

 

 

 

Posted on by Dawn Quyle Landau | 26 Comments

Something Slutty This Way Comes… Seriously?

It’s that time of year again… thought I’d pull this out of the vault, as I sit waiting for my… 1… Trick-or-Treater. Happy Halloween y’all!

Dawn Quyle Landau's avatarTALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND

Ok, I admit it; I’m getting old. I find myself lost in the crazy world of progress. Some days lately, I sound like an old lady even to myself! Look at all those naked butts! These black leggings have got to go!  Or, take your hat off when you’re inside, or at the table. Or, What the hell is going on with Halloween costumes for girls? Seriously people, why are so many costumes variations of slutty, skanky images for girls, while boys get to be action heroes, goblins, ghouls, knights, pirates, and the like. The girls can be these things too:  if they’re willing to saunter about in super short, breast push-up, pedophile attracting counterparts. So call me an old lady; go ahead and do it in the comments section; but I find it disgusting!

Draculaura, size 4-6 Draculaura, size 4-6

photo    photo

We wanted to be rolly polly bees; cute bees... We wanted to be rolly polly bees; cute bees…

While…

View original post 690 more words

Posted in Honest observations on many things | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

My daughter, Principessa (*not her real name), has been living in Israel for the better part of the past three years; in September of the this year she made it official and got her citizenship. Some of you have read previous posts (here, here, and here) about our journey through these changes… my journey as a mother. It hasn’t been easy. While I have adjusted over time, I admit that when I entered her new address in my contacts, this fall (she was home for the summer), I got a giant lump in my throat and found myself teary– old feelings rushing to the surface again. It’s a process.

But then I talk to her– my hasn’t the world gotten smaller, with Skype, Email, the relative end of long distance calling, Facebook– and I realize that she is doing incredible things with her life, and feeling excited about and invested in things much bigger than my missing her. She speaks Hebrew. You and I might say fluently, but as she’s been challenged in new working environments, she’s learning that there is a lot more to learn in communicating in her new home language. She has a Hebrew name, different from the name she was raised with, but one that I gave her at birth. In that capacity: Learning, embracing her new home, and with a conscience and drive bigger than my arms can hold, she is working as the Resource Development Officer for the African Refugee Development Center, or ARDC.

Today, I am reaching out everyone who reads this blog to help with a project that is so important, and is desperate need of funding. My daughter asked me if I would feature this campaign, in the hope that so many passionate bloggers and readers would be willing to help a group of people who are truly disenfranchised and need the kind of help that the ARDC provides. There is no political agenda here, no pressure, but please check out the links provided and consider a donation in any amount. Every dollar will help, and as always, your generosity and compassion is much appreciated. To find out more and donate, go to Indigogo.

© 972mag.com

© 972mag.com

And now, an interview with my daughter, Liviah Landau:

TFTM:  I’m so glad to finally have you on my blog, Liviah! I’m honored that you want to discuss this project here.

LL: Thank you! I really think your readership and audience will care about this situation, and may be willing to help. Thanks for featuring it.

TFTM: Ok, so let’s start with your organization. What is the ARDC?

LL:  The African Refugee Development Center (ARDC) is a grassroots, community-based, non-profit organization that was founded in 2004 by African asylum seekers and Israeli citizens, in order to assist, protect and empower African refugees and asylum seekers in Israel. To date, the ARDC has served over 10,000 refugees and asylum seekers from Eritrea, Sudan, The Democratic Republic of Congo, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Ethiopia and the Ivory Coast. Since January 2014 alone, the ARDC assisted 1000+ clients on matters relating to visa issues, relocation, refugee status determination, higher education, language courses, tutoring, and psycho-social therapy.

Our mission is to empower, protect and assist African refugees and asylum seekers in Israel by advocating on their behalf and enabling processes that increase their awareness, ensure participation and inspire policy change.

©muftah.org

©muftah.org

TFTM:  Can you tell us about Asylum Application Assistance (AAA) Project?

LL:  After a long and dangerous journey, often on-foot and across great distances such as the Sinai Desert, the next considerable challenge that an asylum seeker faces is the determination of his or her status as a refugee. However, while the right to seek and enjoy asylum from persecution is a human right enshrined in Article 14 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, and the State of Israel is a signatory to the 1951 Convention Relating to the Status of Refugees and its 1967 Protocol, it is a right that it is not yet fully protected in Israel today under domestic law.

Not all asylum seekers may apply for refugee status as there are two separate processing streams depending upon nationality. Sudanese and Eritrean citizens are collectively granted ‘temporary protection’ (offering only protection from deportation and no other rights) provided that they can establish their identity and nationality, whilst all other nationalities may seek refugee status through the ‘refugee status determination’ process (RSD). Applying for either temporary protection or refugee status is an extremely stressful process as its outcome may literally have life or death consequences. Those whose applications and appeals are rejected face deportation to their country of origin and the risk of further abuse and torture or even death.

ARDC assists individuals to receive protection through the following projects which are supported by the European Union and the Royal Netherlands Embassy in Israel (January 2012 to June 2013):

                                *Assistance to Apply for Refugee Status, and Israeli Work Visas

                                 *Relocation Assistance

                                  *Assistance to Apply for Temporary Protection

© ameinu.net

© ameinu.net

TFTM: Wow, this is truly overwhelming! I recently met and wrote about an incredible man in San Diego, who had experienced this same terrifying journey, Mohamud (read his story here). His experience touched me deeply. But again, it’s all so big and confusing… who do we help, and how?  Why should we care about what the ARDC is doing?

LL:  It’s pretty overwhelming when you look at the amount of charities, non-profits and aid organizations that are focused on Africa and/or Africans, so it’s understandable that these campaign efforts to help empower this struggling part of the world get washed away in your inboxes.  I cannot convince each individual reading this blog that this campaign is directly related to them.  It may not be.  However, the activities of this ARDC project represents a key issue often neglected and mismanaged in the world today.  An issue that most dramatically affects the underprivileged and minority populations on the fringe. That issue is INFRASTRUCTURE.  Without it, all orderly processes of society go to hell.  In Israel, and certainly in many places in Africa, there are serious flaws.

The AAA Project is the only program in Israel providing support for Asylum Seekers to follow through legal processes officializing their status’.  The support it provides will help ensure that the frail legal infrastructure in regards to Refugees is upheld, and the rights, freedoms and dignity of this population is protected.  Israel is a nation rife with external and internal problems (that doesn’t even need to be said), and the current government is scattered with suspicious and racist representatives that would rather detain these people indefinitely in prisons than approach the issue face to face.  The AAA Project is doing the work that the government has not been willing to provide that will, in effect, ease future legislative decisions on the issue, and will give Asylum Seekers a change to change the direction of their unfortunate circumstances.

If you are in support of helping put in place infrastructures that ensure justice is protected in the world, than this cause is related to you. You can donate here.

© phr.org.il

© phr.org.il

TFTM:  Why do Africans come to Israel for asylum, versus other countries in the region?

LL:  The majority of the estimated 55,000 African Asylum Seekers in Israel are primarily from Eritrea and Sudan.  More than 90% of this population have come since 2007 and only 15% are women.  Individuals from North and West Africa make the treacherous journey in rafts across the Mediterranean to get to Europe.  Although it is over 2,500 miles from South Sudan to Sinai border in Israel, conditions in Sudan are such that individuals put their lives in the hands of traffickers to make the journey, on-foot, to Israel, in hopes of safety and protection from the violence occurring in their homeland.  Israel’s neighbors, such as Egypt, Jordan and Syria not only have no infrastructure to take in refugees, they are themselves inundated with civil wars, poverty, and their own refugee crises.

TFTM:  What happens to them once they arrive?

LL:  Currently, if refugees successfully make it into Israel and are not killed by Bedouins in the torture camps in the Sinai, or by the demands of the treacherous journey, they are detained and abused by the Israeli army indefinitely (under what was the “Anti-Infiltration Law“).  Many have been taken to the Holot Detention Center.  Those who make it into Israel, live in poverty mostly in South Tel Aviv and other marginalized towns.

TFTM:  What is the impact of all these refugees on Israel?

LL:  The impact of the refugees on Israel is a highly disputed matter.  The political right claim they are sucking resources and over-populating areas such as South Tel Aviv.  They claim they are increasing crime rates and threatening the “Jewish character” of the country.

The asylum seekers have barely integrated into Israeli society; this is due to the social stigma attached to them by the government branding  them as ‘infiltrators’; the socially conservative neighborhoods they find themselves living in (mostly within cheap neighborhoods); and the language barrier. Children of asylum seekers have an easier time due to the speed with which they learn the language and the school system which places them in classrooms with a cross-section of Israeli society. The NGO’s working on refugee rights and the workplace rights are places where friendships between asylum seekers and Israelis are made, although the overwhelming sentiment in Israeli society is that they remain firmly on the periphery of Israeli society.

TFTM:  In applying for permanent relocation to a third-party country, what countries are we talking about?

LL:  Currently, countries such as Norway, Sweden, Germany, Canada and the US have infrastructures in place to repatriate refugees from war-torn countries.  The percentage of refugees world-wide who are permanently relocated is very small.

TFTM:  Tell us more about other projects the ARDC has to aid in other areas of the refugee’s lives.

Please visit our website to learn more about our projects.  We’re doing a lot more than just paralegal assistance!

IMG_6956

TFTM:  How did you get involved in this project and why is it important to YOU, Liviah?

LL:  I got involved with the ARDC because I am interested in possibly pursuing a career in humanitarian work and/or non-profits and I am currently looking into starting a Masters Degree in the next few years.  I took on this internship as Resource Development Officer to gain experience and be active in positive social change in Israel.  I, myself, am a recent immigrant to Israel and I, unlike the Asylum Seekers, am enjoying an abundance of aid and benefits from the government simply because I am Jewish.  I care deeply about the success of this country, and it is important to me to be an active participant in enacting justice for all individuals residing here.  I believe that the State of Israel is drowning in massive social, economic and religious problems (the situation of African refugees being one of them) and I feel that it is my job to do my very best in being a part of positive change.  So I chose to work with the ARDC as part of the ambition.  In other words, I’m an aspiring optimist.

TFTM:  With Ebola so central in the news, do you or the organization you work with have any concerns about refugees coming in from possibly infected areas? Is there a plan to deal with that issue?

LL:  We do not currently have concerns about Ebola as it does not generally affect the population we work with.  HIV/AIDS and Post-Traumatic Stress is a much greater concern with this population.

TFTM:  What can people do to help? Why is it important that we help?

LL:  The ARDC has an abundance of volunteers and interns, like myself, on the ground in Israel working for our endeavors.  However, there are two very important ways individuals from abroad can help our work:

* Donations: without  financial assistance, non of our projects will be able to take place.  Your contributions provide translators, transportation costs, supplies for community projects, and expansion of current programs so that more lives may be touched. Please check out our campaign and consider making a donation.

* Outreach: if this cause inspires you, we encourage your advocacy! Sign up to be on our mailing list, and contact myself (resource.intern@ardc-israel.org), or Dijana (dijana@ardc-israel.org) for more information about the African Asylum Seeker situation in Israel. We can send you academic and media resources for further education.  You can also “like” us on facebook or follow us on twitter, to stay up to date on the news.

TFTM: Well thank you for taking the time to tell us about this project. Is there anything else we need to know?

LL:  Yes, time is critical. There is less than a week left for this campaign.  Donations are desperately needed, and will be enormously appreciated. Spreading the word about our organization and projects can only expand awareness and inspire others to contribute. Any amount helps, and we are so grateful for contributions. Thank you for doing this interview, mom.

TFTM: You’re welcome. I’m sorry I was away for the past 2 weeks and I’m getting the word out there so rushed. I hope it helps… and off the record, I’m so proud of you and what you’re doing. (*of course I’m putting that on the record)

What else can you do? I’ve never asked, but SHARE THIS POST; Tweet the link; post it on your Facebook pages; help spread the word; please make a donation now. Time is critical. Your efforts and support are much appreciated by me, my daughter and the thousands of refugees who need our help. And if it wasn’t clear throughout, donations to this cause are so important. Please donate here.

Final words:  Readers, bloggers, people, PLEASE HELP! We are a community that does so much when asked. I am asking. Please take a moment and contribute to the Asylum Application Assistance project with the ARDC. And thank you!

•     •     •

Make me smile; and HELP ME REACH MY GOAL:  I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I’m forced to be brief.  Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  © 2014  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.

Posted on by Dawn Quyle Landau | 13 Comments

friday-fictioneersArrgh! I forgot to link my story again! Clearly, I have an issue with this…

After more than a year of participating in Friday Fictioneers, without missing a single entry, I got lost in paradise and was unable to participate these past two weeks. Doug, it killed me to miss yours– that photo was gorgeous! I still have stories for it, twirling in my head. Fiji was just too magical, too dreamy, to do anything but be there and enjoy it. But oh how I’ve missed you all, and the wonderful stories you tell! This week, the story came to me in ten minutes. I’ll probably regret not spending more time, but it’s good to be back. Thanks to EF for gently pushing me to keep working on what’s important and real– and just below the surface.

For anyone new, Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction challenge, led by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, who just celebrated her second anniversary as our ever-dedicated leader. Write a 100-word story (or less) in response to a photo– provided this week by Melanie Greenwood. Stories should have a beginning, middle and end. Check out further details, join in, or simply read the other stories, on Rochelle’s blog, Addicted to Purple.

As always, I welcome honest, thoughtful feedback; please leave a comment and tell me what you think.

© Melanie Greenwood

© Melanie Greenwood

Rapprochement (94 words)

As he pulled his chair closer to hers, Jared tried to focus.

“So… What you’re saying is, you’re willing to work on this?” He watched her eyes, as she stared at something intangible to his right. “You’re willing to give this another try?”

Anna held her breath, afraid to speak. They’d both made mistakes; she was willing to move past his. After so many angry words, so many sleepless nights and tears, she wasn’t sure of anything, except–

“I still love you–”

Jared took her hand and said a silent prayer of thanks.

*     *     *

Make me smile; and HELP ME REACH MY GOAL:  I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I’m forced to be brief.  Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  © 2014  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.

 

Posted on by Dawn Quyle Landau | 43 Comments
Flying over Fiji

Flying over Fiji

“Bula means hello, good, welcome… it has many meanings, but all things that are good. “ Marica (Maretha) patiently explained to me, my second night in Fiji. “Vinaka is thank you, but it also has many meanings. Together, they mean many things, all of them good. Bula Vinaka; it’s all good!” Her smile so warm and sincere is reflected in all of the faces I have met in this enchanted place. Everyone smiles; everyone calls out Bula, wherever you go.

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Smart Guy and I arrived at Matangi Resort three days ago and have been floating on a cloud ever since. The resort is on the private island of Matangi, owned and operated by the Douglas Family: Flora, Noel, (both 5th generation Fijians) and daughter Christene, who runs the office and handles arrangements with guests. Upon arrival, we were welcomed, as all guests are, with beautiful native song, fresh coconut juice, shell leis and wonderful smiling faces. And every minute since our arrival has been heaven on earth! The color of the water– how many shades of blue are there? The greens of the jungle and gardens, the flowers that are everywhere, the constant lull of the sea lapping the shore… there could not be a more peaceful, wonderful place– and if there is, I am perfectly content and happy to have landed here instead.

I won the airline tickets for this trip on Bucket List Publications (vinaka Lesley!), in a contest they hosted with Fiji Airlines, fifteen months ago.  At the time we had a German exchange student arriving and our youngest child, Little Man, was entering his senior year of high school. It was not the right time to take a trip to Fiji– a trip that I’ve dreamed of since going to Australia in 1982, when I could not afford the stopover in Fiji. We have been very fortunate and lucky, to have done some remarkable travel as a family, but Fiji was always in the back of my mind. When I won the tickets it was truly stunning, but as we put it off part of me thought it might not happen.1920190_10152326824381300_3495453710150240257_n

However, this past spring we finally booked the air portion and started reading resort reviews on Trip Advisor. Honestly, the options were totally daunting! Even with free airfare, a trip to Fiji is not for the faint of heart, cost wise or travel wise– it took us 30+ hours to get here (4 planes, one van, and a boat), from the west coast! Of course, there are many options for accommodations– from back packer stays to resorts that can cost upwards of $5000 a night; trust me, we looked at most of them! There are 322 islands that make up Fiji, and after hours of reading, we decided to spend our two weeks at two different resorts. Turtle Island was our first choice, and when we were running out of steam, someone suggested we look at Matangi as the other destination.

After three days here, I can’t imagine wanting to go anywhere else!

Imagine a South Pacific paradise that is run as if you are good friends, or family, returning home. Imagine owners who share their stories– amazing tales of a Fijian princess and an Australian adventurer, who marry and buy an island in the 1800s, and the generations who have since loved and treasured that island. Imagine a family who has worked hard to make their dream of a creating a very special resort, that you get to be a part of that… this is all a part of Matangi. Admittedly, I’m not an expert; this is my first resort in Fiji. However, my husband and I don’t like too feel removed from the places we visit; we love to share in the culture and magic of a place. While we’re not naïve enough to believe that we are enjoying a purely authentic Fijian experience, it’s hard to imagine that any tourist can. However, if you are looking to find a piece of paradise, that is seamlessly operated and designed to make every moment peaceful and exceptional, it can be found here, at Matangi. From the staff in the beautiful open air dining room to the women who rake the beach, or work in the spa, or feed the animals, all day someone is calling out “Bula!” If you like privacy and quiet, then they respect that and give you your space; however, if you enjoy chatting with people who live here about Fijian culture and lives, they are warm and generous.

Tomorrow we will go to a private beach, Horsehoe Bay, where we’ll be able to explore the spectacular reef; enjoy a crescent-shaped beach all to ourselves, and take in the natural beauty of this stunning place. The staff will deliver our lunch at 11:30, but otherwise we will be on our own to enjoy this island paradise.

Bula Vinaka, Matangi!

If you are considering travel to Fiji, check out Matangi Private Island Resort– for the traveler who enjoys a truly cultural, completely relaxed exchange and experience, while still enjoying exquisite accommodations. Matangi is family owned and run and it really shows!  Book directly with Christene Douglas: admin@matangiisland.com for reservations.  Mention this post and receive a 7 night stay, for the cost of 5 nights.  (good if mentioned through January 2015, and booked directly) Check out their website here: http://matangiisland.com/

Note: this is part one of what will be several posts. There are too many details to focus on, for one post. Instead, I wanted to introduce readers to this incredible place, and then take them along as we make new discoveries each day.  All photos were taken with and used here, with permission of the people in them.

* I did not receive any goods or services in exchange for any reviews I’m writing here.

*     *    *

Make me smile; HELP ME REACH MY GOAL:  I’d love to see my Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I try to be brief.  Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  © 2014  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.

Posted on by Dawn Quyle Landau | 33 Comments

Sometimes The Stars Align; And You Get Very Lucky…

I wrote this post more than a year ago. None of the writing “luck” panned out; I didn’t hear back from most of the agents/editors who asked to read my work, and while 2 wrote very encouraging emails to me, ultimately they rejected my novel. However, after hosting an exchange student last year, and getting our youngest through high school graduation, we are finally taking that trip to Fiji– that I won 15 months ago! Today, Friday October 10th, the adventure begins! I have dreamed of Fiji since I was 18 years old. I may be busy taking it all in for the next two weeks, but you can be sure… this, I will blog about! Bula!

Dawn Quyle Landau's avatarTALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND

I consider myself a lucky person, in ways that really don’t involve pure luck. Those of you who have read this blog for a while, or consistently, know that I have traveled a lot, and done some very cool things. I live in an incredibly gorgeous place, surrounded by pretty unique and wonderful people. My husband is successful, my kids are truly inspiring, and my dogs are adorable. And for the record, I don’t brag like that very often, but it’s easy to see why I opened with I’m a lucky person.

But, none of that is really pure luck. All of it, every single detail, took a lot of time, hard work and commitment. None of it just came in one lucky stroke, or the draw of a magic ticket. And I get it: lots of people work really hard, and are very committed, and put in the…

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Posted in Honest observations on many things | 2 Comments