It’s time for Friday Fictioneers again, the greatest free show in town! Rochelle Wisoff-Fields runs this band of merry writers, where participants are asked to write a 100-word story, with a beginning, middle and end, using a photo prompt. It’s a wonderful challenge with lots of interesting outcomes. Check out other participants here. Rochelle’s is particularly great this week! My story is 99 words.
I always welcome feedback, positive or constructive. Leave something in the comments, and make my day. Check out Tales From the Motherland on Facebook, and hit like. I will smile for hours.
I’m going a little dark this week, in honor of All Hallows– dark humor for balance.
Image: Douglas M. Macllroy
“Don’t be koi with me, Sparkle,” the great, spotted fish hissed. “You know damned well there was something fishy about those guys.”
Sparkle’s sleek gold body twitched. “I told you, they threw the meat in and laughed; that’s all. ” She shuddered, remembering the dark faces, as they dropped the food.
“What did they say, again? It must mean something!”
“They said: ‘Jackie’s sleeping with the fishes now.’ It’s silly, aren’t we all?”
“That stuff looked familiar– texture was all off. I’ll get to the bottom of this.” Spots circled away.
“Leave that to Joe; he’s a bottom feeder.”
(99 words)
TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
Great juxtaposition of light humorous with deadly serious . Very intriguing in the short space . Great !
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Thanks Dan! Your feedback is so helpful, and encouraging. Much appreciated.
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Great minds think alike! I am honored to share (almost) the same title with you this week. But in Blackness you are way ahead, great stuff (Is there an “It” too many or is the Koi stuttering?
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Indeed! I’m working on a big project, but will be over to check out other posts, later today. Guess that gets me down to 99 words; thanks for the great catch! (see what I did there, pun?) Thanks so much for checking out TFTM this week, and taking the time to comment. Your time is much appreciated! 🙂
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Fun story! Poor old Joe kind of gets the short end of the stick here. Actually, Jackie’s the real loser I guess.
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Indeed, Jackie is swimming INSIDE the fishes. Joe’s a catfish, but that would have been too many words. Thanks for stopping by Denmother! I’m just reading the others now. All work today… now for some fun. 😉
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Oh it came across clearly that Joe’s a bottom feeding fish, I just feel badly for him that he’s the one left to consume a human. Yuck! But then again, I’ve never tasted human so maybe I’m all wrong…. Have fun!
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Mwahahaha! Poor Joe, indeed.
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Hilarious! You have a knack for flash fiction, Dawn. More!
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I’m still waiting for you to jump it! Something tells me you’d have some great stories to tell, as well. Thanks for the encouragement!
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lol Love the dark humor in this!!! I am still trying to get use to the 100 word limit and you do it brilliantly.
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Thank you. I’ve been working on it each week. I think some have been better than others (I loved the colored doors prompt), but it is always a challenge, and always fun to do. Thanks for taking the time to visit, and for your kind, encouraging words. They are much appreciated.
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This was only my second…so no colored doors for me. Looking forward to reading more from you 🙂
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Thanks! Ditto. 🙂
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that’s perfectly balanced darkness and humor 🙂 great story, definitely enjoyed this
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Thanks KZ. Yours was fantastic this week! I appreciate you stopping by to read mine. 🙂
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Hah – you had me hooked right from the beginning. Nice catch! 😉
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Wacka wacka! You so funny. 😉
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Ha, great! I particularly liked “don’t be koi with me” – very witty! 🙂
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Thanks. I was going for dark humor, and puns. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for stopping by, and sharing your feedback; much appreciated!
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Love the puns. Koi-t funny! (I didn’t like my pun though.)
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What a funny guy… you are.
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Nice gangland take on the fish characters. You can always depend on Joe to do a good clean-up job.
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Those catfish are willing to eat anything!
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Dark and funny a the same time! I find it fascinating how a photo can spark these stories in you, Dawn. Great job!
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I have found it to be a really fun challenge… I look at the photo, first thing every Wed… then wait to see what story pops up. This one, happened as I wrote. Literally, line by line I wasn’t entirely sure where it was going. So fun! thanks for following along, Cathy.
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Funny and clever at the same time. Great opening line. Well done.
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Thanks Sandra. Your feedback is always so well thought out sincere. I really appreciate that each week!
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Ah! What nice dark humor to go with my dark-chocolate Halloween candy! Well done — love that first line.
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Thanks Linda! Dark chocolate makes everything better, n’est cest pas?
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Nice!
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Thanks! Your time is much appreciated.
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You’re definitely on with the puns today although I’m casting my net for Sparkle–she’s the catch of the day.
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I have a soft spot for Sparkle too… something tells me theres a little more to her than glitter. Thanks for taking the time; much appreciated!
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Ha – somethings asleep at the bottom of the pond
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Those catfish rarely sleep, but they do get what falls to the bottom. 😉 Thanks for stopping by!
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My mind is going two different places — one bad and once even worse. I hesitate to say more in case children may be reading.
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Oooh, such a tease. 😉
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Such a punny contribution to this week’s prompt! Good fun.
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Thanks Miss T! I had a lot of fun with the pun. 😉
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I can tell! 🙂
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🙂
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Such a clever and funny story with a dark subtext. Flash fiction at its best. Karen
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Thanks so much, Karen! I really love being a part of this community, and look forward to the stories each week. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment; much appreciated!
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Dear Dawn,
There are too many bottom feeders like Joe. They’re not Kosher you know. 😉
shalom,
Rochelle
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Definitely not a MOT. 😉
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Dear Dawn,
A lovely, bottom feeding take on the prompt. You mixed it up and then shook it out and all the pieces fell into place. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks so much, Doug. Each week, I enjoy this more! You really gave us a wonderful prompt this week, and I had fun with it. Thanks for taking the time; much appreciated.
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We did have a similar idea with this one, although I like your punny twist on it. 🙂
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Thanks David. The challenge is always so much fun, but it’s a blast to see what each of us does with it. Great minds… right? 😉 Thanks for taking the time to visit TFTM, and for sharing your thoughts. Much appreciated.
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Eating raw meat can be dangerous, but not as dangerous as what happened to Jackie. Dark story indeed. Hope someone gets below the surface and justice flows. Ron
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Thanks Ron. No doubt, raw is best in sushi, but then…maybe that would be even more gory, in this particular case! Thanks for taking the time to visit TFTM; much appreciated!
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Oooh, Dawn, I love the dark with the humorous. The fishes will take care of it, at the bottom feeders!
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Things went swimmingly well with this one. 😉
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really black – do lunch or be lunch 🙂
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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Danke, Carmen. Exactly! I appreciate you stopping by, and taking the time to comment. 🙂
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LOL. Fun and dark. THe perfect Halloween timed post. 🙂
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I was feeling very Halloween last week! Thanks, Kourtney. 🙂
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All the excellent puns make this fun read one to take in again and again. I especially like the last line. Bottom feeder, indeed!
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Thanks so much CherryPickens! I appreciate you stoping by TFTM, and I love that you took the time to comment. Much appreciated.
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Haha, I love it! Really made me laugh, although perhaps it shouldn’t have made me laugh so much! 😉 Loved the photo prompt as well, you stuck to the 100 word limit really well as well! Amazing! 🙂
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Thanks so much Madeline! I appreciate you taking the time for checking out TFTM and your enthusiastic response. Put a big smile on my face. 🙂
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Fun read, Dawn. I was wondering about the texture being off–concrete shoes?
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Thanks, Patti! It’s been fun to get to know each other’s writing… not sure what you mean, so tell me more. Concrete shoes? There’s a gangster vibe, but are you suggesting another direction?
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I was curious what he saw when he said, “That stuff looked familiar–texture was all off.” Texture made me think of the concrete after the “sleeping with the fishes” line.
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I hate to ruin your appetite, Patti, but human flesh. :-p
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Aha! Thanks for clearing that up for me. I’m a little dense!
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Not at all! Perhaps it was my vague writing. 😉 Thanks for taking the time, Patti!
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It’s a challenge to make the details we see in our heads visible to others in 100 words. You’re doing great.
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It is a challenge… but I love it! Thanks for the encouragement and positive feedback.
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Clever tale. Nice word play.
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Thanks Tony! I had a lot of fun with it… and had to go in a totally different direction for this week! That’s the best part of Friday Fictioneers.
Thanks so much for checking out TFTM, and taking the time to leave your thoughts. Much appreciated! I hope you’ll read some more and let me know what you think.
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