30 People a Day Think I’m Having An Affair With President Obama

Ok, technically this should have been a reblog, but I just had to use that title! Admit it; it’s a doozy! But it’s true. I wrote this post in October 2012, just before the election. It was a fun post to write and I figured a few people would get a chuckle. But lo and behold, it has been a consistent (read: daily) source of hits/reads from my archives, and in the past three weeks it’s been jumping up in numbers.

Apparently, quite a few people believe that the President is having an affair, and when they Google that, I’m the in the top 5 responses they get. So, as Little Man chuckled last night, “Gee Mom, a lot of people think you’re having an affair with the President!”  I laughed. I ate another piece of chocolate before bed (it helps you sleep, and burns calories while you sleep- that’s a bonus piece of info for all you Obama affair believers) and then I got to thinking. Wow, I wonder how many people pull up this post and actually believe it?? Seriously folks, I am now getting 35 hits a day on this post! That is pretty amazing. If only one or two a day believe the incredible passion love bull shit that’s written in these letters, that’s an impressive number of people thinking I’m bonking our President.  I’ll reframe from sharing details of how I fly all over to meet him. Trip to NYC to see the holiday lights… riiiight. Hospital stay? Riiiiight. What can I say, the man’s persuasive. 

Look, I’m no fool. I realize that a lot of people are curious about me because of all the kerfluffle over this Vera Banks chick (you know you can trust “Hollywood Gossip!”). Paleeease!  As if Barack would give up me for that. And Kerry Washington, um folks… that’s a TV President she’s cheating with, not my man President. And now she’s pregnant, with his child! She may say it’s her husband’s but we all know she’s been carrying on with that other President for ages! TV ratings don’t lie.

The point is, my affair is over. I am working on fixing my own marriage. This stuff did a lot of damage. Smart Guy is smart enough to know he’s got a good thing, when the President of the United States says so. Just the same, the letters below speak volumes to just how important I was… to Barack, and I need to focus on helping my husband see that I’m done with all that.  We’ll always have that sweet memory, and the thirty+ plus people a day who still think it’s real… but I’ve moved on.

I loved the way he looked at me... Image: thatgirlsa.com

I loved the way he looked at me…
Image: thatgirlsa.com

I have done my best to keep this private, especially given the crazy media frenzy around President Obama. However, with the election so close, I thought it was time to be honest with you all. I have been involved in an ongoing, sustained relationship with Barack Obama since early 2012. To some degree, it began in late fall 2011, but initially it was only friendly.

During that time, Barack (he let’s me call him that) contacted me more times than is appropriate. I admit to responding, but I was swept up in the sparkle of it all. I have carried the burden of keeping this secret until now, to spare both Barack and Michelle any embarrassment. However, I believe it is time for the truth to be told.

I am sharing some of the hundreds (yes, hundreds) of emails that I have received from Barack and his friends. At first, I knew better and deleted all of our communications. I’ve read stories of what happened to the Kennedys, Johnson, Clinton, and the John Edward’s debacle was raging as the letters piled up. I’m no fool. Frankly, Barack seems to be like nearly every President before him in this department. Who didn’t have a little side action, when it comes to Presidents? (Don’t even tell me Eisenhower… you may like Ike, but so did his secretary Kay Summersby!) It just goes with the House I think.  Over time, I began to save his letters, just in case… something happened to me. Now, I feel it is only right to bring them out in public.

Despite everything, I stand by my man. I believe in him, even if I’m nursing a broken

Yep, you guessed it: this was our secret point. It’s directed at me.
Image: billslater.com

heart. I know we will both go on… Me with my blog, him with the country. I certainly hope he gets to go on. Otherwise, this might all prove too much even for Barack. I believe that bringing it all out in the open, can only help. Honesty is best. I’m doing this as much for Barack, as to clear my own conscience. In the end, I suppose I also owe an apology to Michelle. She is a good woman. A woman I could support… I did her wrong, and I’m sorry. I hope this cleans the slate.

Dawn —                                                             May 22, 2012On June 4th, President Clinton and I are getting together in New York — and I’m inviting you, too.If you’re in, chip in $75 or whatever you can today, and you’ll be automatically entered for a chance to join us.Bill and I have spent a good amount of time together these past few years, and we always have plenty to talk about.On June 4th, we want you to be part of the conversation — and whoever you choose to bring with you.

So what do you say?

Pitch in $75 or whatever you can to fly out to New York next month and meet us — airfare and accommodations covered.

Dear Barack,

You know I’d love to join you and Bill in New York, but June is so busy for us. The exchange students are getting ready to return home (How The U.N Dissolved…), my kids are returning from college  and there is just so much going on. I’m sure you remember that I’m also training for Machu Picchu in late June. My schedule really is so full!

It is so cute how you throw in those “suggestions for donations.” Makes this look so legit.  How generous of you to suggest I bring a friend. I must ask: you are aren’t suggesting I “bring a friend” for Bill? I’m not sure how I would feel about involving anyone else.  You know I’d love to say yes, but alas I have to pass… this time.


Dawn —                                                       May 29, 2012Today is the last day the campaign is taking names for the chance to join President Obama and me in New York next week.I hope you take us up on this. I’d love to meet you.If you’re planning on it, make sure you enter before the midnight deadline.See you soon,
Bill Clinton

Dear Bill,                                                                                           May 29, 2012

I hope I can call you that. I am a bit surprised that Barack gave you my private email address, but I understand that you two are very close friends. I’m touched that he told you about me. I thought this was all under the radar, if you know what I mean… I’m not implying that you had any problems with radar, but you and Barack do seem to have different codes. I hope I’m not being too forward, but given the fact that Barack wants me to meet you, I felt I could be direct, or mostly direct, if we are all to be friends.

Thank you so much for reaching out. I’m sure we will meet another time.



Dawn –

I take deadlines seriously.

I’m writing to remind you that you’re facing one tomorrow: your last chance to join President Obama, the First Lady, and me for dinner at Sarah Jessica Parker’s home in New York on June 14th.

After dinner, you and a guest of your choosing could join the President and First Lady at a private concert from Mariah Carey.

There’s simply no excuse to let this slip.

I don’t do this sort of thing often — get involved with politics, that is.

But I’m doing everything I can to support President Obama this summer and fall because it’s important that we all do.

Nights in New York like this one are a happy side benefit.

I hope to see you there.

Anna Wintour


Ms. Wintour,

I couldn’t possibly call you Anna. I was utterly shaken to hear from you and Sarah on the same day! Two style Goddesses of your calibre is a lot to take in, let alone on the same day! First, I am honored that you would include me in such an incredible evening. Would that I could. Unfortunately, I could not possibly put together an outfit that I would feel good in, in such elite company. I know Sarah isn’t really Carey Bradshaw, but it’s hard not to worry. Who can keep up with that?  Further, I will be very direct here Ms. Wintour, you scare the begeesus out of me! I saw The September Issue. It was brilliant! I loved it, but I am pretty sure that I could not handle an entire dinner with you. The two of you together is just too, too much. You’re right, “fashion does make (me) nervous,” but particularly when faced with you and Sarah in one room.

I am confused as to why Barack has been so open in sharing my information with so many of you, but I can only assume that he wants me to meet all of his friends and supporters. That said, I think I’m a behind the scenes girl… if you get my meaning?  I just wanted to add, that I personally thought all of those long dresses this summer were awful. I hope you’ll think a bit more creatively next year.


Dawn —                                                        June 11, 2012We’re organizing another dinner with folks like you, and I hope you’ll take me up on the offer.Pitch in $75 or whatever you can today to be automatically entered to join me.These dinners mean something more than just a meal among friends.They represent the kind of politics we believe in. It’s a simple but powerful idea: Everyone should have a seat at the table, no matter where you come from or how much you can afford to give.

The other side has special-interest allies lining up to tear us down.

I’ve got you.

Thanks for all you’ve done to support the campaign so far. These dinners are a small way for me to show my appreciation, so I’m saving you a seat.

Chip in what you can today and you’ll be automatically entered to be there.

Thanks, for everything.

Dear Barack,                                                                                      June 11,2012

I can’t begin to tell you how I felt when I saw the message “Meet me for dinner” in the subject line of your email. It’s been so hard, just watching you on TV and trying to pretend to others that you’re just the President… when you mean so much more to me. I must say, you do have a lot of dinners! I know we all have to eat, but I’d prefer it was more private, to be honest.

Yes, you do indeed have me! From now on, that should be our song: I’ve got you babe! It’s so sweet and it kind of reminds me of what we have.  Again, you’re so clever to use terms like “support the campaign,” etc to make things look right. Don’t worry, I haven’t told a soul about us. Sadly, as I mentioned in my last letter, June is just impossible.  I also worry that it would just be too much for us to be seen together. Too much is at stake.  You know you have my vote. Wink, wink.


Dawn —                                                     June 17, 2012I grew up in the White House. I remember as a small child visiting my father in the Oval Office while he worked.But really, we could have been growing up in any American home. We were just children, happy to see our dad — even if he was stepping out of a helicopter that had landed on our front lawn.That’s why, on Father’s Day, I’m thinking of Michelle Obama and the girls, and the time they’ll get to spend with the President as a family.I can appreciate how long the days can be — and how wonderful it feels to know that, no matter how full your father’s plate is, you’re the best part of his day and the most important part of his life.

So I’m joining Michelle and others all around the country to wish the President a happy Father’s Day.

As you acknowledge a special father figure in your own life, I hope you’ll join me by adding your name to tell Barack how much he means to all of us.

Thanks, and happy Father’s Day to every dad out there.

P.S. — I love this video of Michelle talking about Barack as a father – take a second for this today.

Dear Caroline,                                                                                              June 17, 2012

I really don’t know what to say. I’ve been an admirer of yours for years. You’ve always handled things with such style and grace, no matter what the situation. We all know that you’ve had more than your fair share of hard moments and yes, you certainly have personal experience with the Presidency and all that surrounds it. However, I can’t help but take this letter as a bit of a threat. If I’m wrong, please accept my apologies. I’m not really sure how you got my contact information, but I find it “interesting” that you have chosen to write to me now, asking me to join you and Michelle (Really? Not very subtle there C.) to say happy Father’s Day to Barack. You do not need to remind me that he is married to Michelle. I am well aware of it, and have struggled with this for as long as Barack and I have been writing. She’s a wonderful woman. Someone I look up to, in fact. I’ve got to give it to you Caroline, including that video is sharp. It does make me feel bad. But, Barack and I have something special and I won’t be bullied. I would prefer if you don’t contact me again, though I only wish you the very best.

Sincerely, Dawn


Dawn —                                                                                             June 26, 2012

I will be the first president in modern history to be outspent in his re-election campaign, if things continue as they have so far.

I’m not just talking about the super PACs and anonymous outside groups — I’m talking about the Romney campaign itself. Those outside groups just add even more to the underlying problem.

The Romney campaign raises more than we do, and the math isn’t hard to understand: Through the primaries, we raised almost three-quarters of our money from donors giving less than $1,000, while Mitt Romney’s campaign raised more than three-quarters of its money from individuals giving $1,000 or more.

And, again, that’s not including the massive outside spending by super PACs and front groups funneling up to an additional billion dollars into ads trashing me, you, and everything we believe in.

We can be outspent and still win — but we can’t be outspent 10 to 1 and still win.

More than 2.2 million Americans have already chipped in for us, and I’m so grateful for it. As we face this week’s fundraising deadline, will you make a donation of $75 or more today?

Every donation you make today automatically enters you to join Michelle and me for one of the last grassroots dinners of this campaign — today is your last chance to get your name in.

These dinners represent how we do things differently. My opponent spent this past weekend at a secretive retreat for the biggest donors to both his campaign and the super PACs that support him.

I’ve got other responsibilities I’m attending to.

Donate today to stand for our kind of politics:  https://donate.barackobama.com/June-Deadline

Thank you,


Dear Barack,                                                                                                June 27, 2012

I needed a little time to respond.  I have been a little hurt since receiving Caroline’s letter. You must see that it was a thinly veiled threat. I believe Michelle knows about us. I can see from the tone of this new letter from you, that it must be all business for now. I understand, but it hurts a little. I recognize the secret message “I’ve got other responsibilities I’m attending to,” and appreciate your effort to let me know that you can’t really risk being caught. Oh, if only I’d come to dinner in June. It was foolish, I’m sorry.  I do hope your Father’s day was wonderful. I felt it would be foolish to sign the card however. We spent the day with Smart Guy and Little Man. I thought of you, but it’s important that we not risk your re-election. I’ve got things I’m attending to as well, but you’re never far from my thoughts.


Dawn —                                                   August 4, 2012Today is Barack’s 51st birthday, and the girls and I are pulling together his birthday card.Last call for names: Want to sign it?Clicking on the link below will add your name to Barack’s card automatically:http://my.barackobama.com/Baracks-Birthday

This election’s only going to get tougher, so I know it would mean a lot to Barack to know he has your support on his birthday.



Dear Michelle,                                                                          August 4, 2012

I hope we can be frank here. I’m sure Caroline gave you my address; as I doubt Barack would’ve done it.  I get it. He’s your man. Fine, if that helps you sleep at night, you go on telling yourself that. How very clever of you to send me this note, asking me to sign your birthday card to him. As if I wouldn’t have sent one on my own? Really Michelle? The link is a very nice touch. I don’t need a link to say happy birthday to Barack! He knows I wish him a happy birthday. I think you know that too. Ironically, my husband’s birthday is August 4th as well. Our husbands were born on the very same day, and share the name Barry. They may use more dignified names in public, but we both know what they like to be called in private. Don’t we Michelle?

I need to get back to my husband’s birthday celebration. I will pretend that you didn’t send this.



Dear Barack                                                                                      August 4, 2012

Happy Birthday Mr. President!  I’m singing it in a Marilyn voice. I know it’s a bit cliche and over-done, but I thought it might make you laugh. I thought you should know that Michelle sent me a letter. She asked me to sign a birthday card for you. Yeah, I know. I’m sorry but I had to write back to her. I think I was pretty direct, but I did not say anything that she can really use…  I hope your day is very special.


Dawn —                                              September 4, 2012Tonight I’ll take the stage in Charlotte to talk about why my husband — and our president — is the right man for the job.Twenty-three years ago, I fell in love with Barack because of his passion, sense of purpose, and his determination to make life better for other people. It’s just who he is — and it’s who he continues to be every day in the White House.And for these next two months, we’ve got to give it everything we’ve got so that we have the chance to finish what we started.Already this week, folks have chipped in more than 120,000 grassroots donations to help build this organization. That’s just incredible — thank you for being one of them.

So let’s see how many people we can get to chip in by the end of this convention. Please consider showing your support again with a donation of $40 today

Dear Michelle,

I’ve got to give it to you. You are tenacious! I will also say, for the record, that you kicked butt out there tonight. Yes, I did watch. How could I not? The pink dress was perfect, your confidence and integrity came through. If we weren’t in this “situation” we might be friends. Despite it all, I do admire you. That said, I’d prefer if we not play this game anymore. It really would be best if you don’t contact me. It’s just too much.


Dawn –As we’re organizing the last dinner with supporters on my last campaign, our kind of politics is running up against a very cynical calculation:That a few billionaires writing $10 million checks are enough to overpower the voices of millions of Americans.That’s why I want to meet you for dinner.Donate $40 or whatever you can to our people-powered campaign, and be automatically entered to join me — hotel and airfare covered for you and a guest.

Overnight, we aren’t going to change the rules that allow outside groups to spend hundreds of millions of dollars attacking me on the airwaves.So we have to stay on the case every day.

Last week we learned that more than 1.1 million donors in August alone — out of more than 3 million people like you supporting this effort — had outraised Mitt Romney and the Republicans for the first time since April.

If we keep doing this our way, I guarantee you there’ll be no stopping us.

Donate $40 or whatever you can today and you’ll be automatically entered to be at the table.


Oh Barack!                                                                                        September 20, 2012

You can’t believe what a relief it is to finally hear from you again… on a more personal level. Of course I’d love to have dinner with you. You know I would. After the last few months, I was getting a little worried that pressure from Michelle, Caroline, even Bill, frankly, had made you doubt our feelings.  You’re right, if we keep on “doing this our way, there will be no stopping us.” That, is such a sweet touch Barack. You know it made me smile, because you know me so well! I’m really excited. I think I’ll need to buy a new dress to look extra beautiful for you.


Dawn –I usually don’t email you — but I have an amazing invitation I have to share.Jay and I will be meeting up with President Obama for an evening in NYC sometime soon. And we want you to be there!Until midnight tonight, if you pitch in $40 or whatever you can, you’ll be automatically entered to be flown out to join us.I’ve had the honor of meeting President Obama and the First Lady a few times — and believe me — it’s an opportunity you don’t want to miss.Don’t worry about the airfare and hotel, it’s taken care of. And you can bring a guest.

But the countdown is on — this opportunity ends at midnight.

Can’t wait to meet you!

Dear Beyonce,                                                                              September 13, 2012

Well, that sure is an understatement: No, you do not email me very often. In fact, when I emailed you way back, as a fan, I heard nothing from you. It’s not that I’m holding a grudge, but I find it odd that you contact me now. Who gave you my email? Really? Caroline? She really should mind her own business. I like her a lot, but this doesn’t concern her. Michelle? Let’s be honest here: I know how she feels, but it is so high school to start calling friends to get involved. Barack and I can handle this on our own. We have been very discreet and it seems to me that telling all of you is only risking this whole thing blowing up, publicly. I know he’s your husband, but really, we all know that Jay-Z (as I call him) likes to talk. He’s got to bust a rhyme somehow and it’s just a matter of time before Barack and Dawn start showing up on the charts. Dawn rhymes with so many other things… You know,  it’s a slippery slope girlfriend.  Please ask “Jay” to keep this on the down low (or whatever new catchy phrase he uses).  I will not be joining you, needless to say, as much as I love New York City in the fall.  Just too many people and too many snoops.  Please do not email me again, unless I contact your fan club.  Thanks.


Dawn —                                                         October 3, 2012In just a little while, I’ll go on stage to meet Mitt Romney in the first presidential debate here in Denver.I couldn’t be prouder to represent you out there.Dawn, it’s because of you that affordable health care is within reach for millions more Americans. It’s because of you that we’ve seen 30 straight months of job growth and middle-class families have seen their taxes cut.Together, we’ve done a lot — but there is so much more to do to keep this country moving forward. That only happens if we win this election.

Before tonight’s debate, will you chip in $40 to help finish this campaign strong?

Can’t wait to see what you do tonight.Barack

Oh Barack,                                                                                                  October 3, 2012

You have no idea how happy I am right now! I was beginning to think we could not go on like this. There are just too many people involved now, and you know I want to see you do well in November. For you to put it all on the line and give me credit for affordable health care, job growth and tax cuts, means more than any dinner in New York, or flowers. This is so sweet of you! I hope Michelle doesn’t feel badly, as I know she’s worked hard too… Getting kids to exercise is important; I’ll give her that. And she does seem to be a sharp cookie all around. If things were different, I’d root for the two of you. But then you go and write this sweet, sweet letter and I’m all mushy again. I think I’m going to go re-play some of the last debate on CNN, just to see that smile again. You kicked it Barack. I was so proud… to be your “friend.”


Dawn —                                                    October 22, 2012Tonight is Barack’s last debate in his last election.It’s also the last major milestone of this campaign before Election Day.This is it — and your support in these final days means everything.Can you chip in $40 right now?

I know Barack is ready to get out there tonight and fight for supporters like you who have built this campaign the right way — from the ground up.As soon as he leaves the stage, I know he’ll be thinking about tomorrow, and all the work we need to do to win in these last two weeks.

If you’re with him now and you’re ready to dig deep until the end, chip in $40 and let Barack know before tonight’s debate:


If we’re going to win this, it’ll be because of you. Barack and I can’t thank you enough.


Dear Michelle,                                                                                    October 22, 2012

I don’t really know what to say at this point. It is so gracious of you to give me credit for Barack’s re-election, come November. I know that none of us can see the future, but I hope above all else that he does indeed win this election. It’s never been about politics between Barack and I. I’m sorry to say it that way, but I believe you know what’s been going on here. He trusts me. He turns to me before each debate, before each big push in a district, when he needs some “support.” We’ve always been able to read between the lines, Barack and I. It’s that much more hurtful that you would include the “chip in $40″ line in your correspondence to me. No doubt, you’ve come to realize that this has always been one of our secret codes?

I’m sorry if all of this has hurt you Michelle. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I have tremendous respect for you. You’re an amazing woman. But Barack and I never intended for this to happen. We didn’t want anyone to get hurt. He started writing to me and it just developed into a closer relationship, as time went by. It has nothing to do with the election. Admittedly, the nearly daily onslaught of messages from the people that surround Barack (Hello Joe, really! Stop contacting me!) has been difficult to ignore at times. I feel it was a mistake on Barack’s part to give my address to so many people he works with.  I’ve thought that maybe this is all just too much. I live a simple life and I’m not used to all of this crazy attention from celebrities, political giants, YOU.

I need to reflect on things quietly for a while. Do not take this as any kind of promise that I am giving Barack up. I simply need time to think. The pressure is just too great.



Dear Barack,

It pains me to write this, but it must be done. I can not be your “friend” any more. Please do not write to me beyond this letter. It has just gotten too complicated. One minute you’re telling me that the economy, health care, all of the things you’ve worked so hard for are all due to me… all because of me… What girl wouldn’t have her head turned by such passionate things? Yet, the fact that you have shared our relationship with so many others has just gotten to be too much. Frankly, Joe emails me far too often for comfort. I know he’s your right hand man, but perhaps you shouldn’t have told him about us. I don’t know what Michelle knows, exactly, but she’s a smart cookie. I think she suspectseverything. It’s just too much! She emails me, she reminds me all the time that you are her husband… the reminder to say happy Father’s Day was just the start in a seemingly never ending cycle of suggestive threats and reminders that you are hers.

I told you from the beginning. I am an easy going girl. I like things simple and uncomplicated. You know how I feel about you; we’ll always have that. But, I think we need to end this. You need to focus on the election, and I need to focus on voting. I wouldn’t leave you without that… my vote. So, please try to go on. Michelle is wonderful and I know she can make you happy. I need to move on and try to forget about these months we’ve shared. Please respect my wishes and do not contact me again.

Love, Dawn


Dawn —                                                                     October 25, 2012

I don’t want to lose this election.

Not because of what losing would mean for me — Michelle and I will be fine no matter what happens.

But because of what it would mean for our country and middle-class families.

This race is very close.

I’m not willing to watch the progress you and I worked so hard to achieve be undone.

Don’t wait. Donate $40 today.

I believe in you. If you stick with me, and if we fight harder than ever for the next two weeks, I truly believe we can’t lose.

Thank you,

P.S. — I don’t know what Election Night will hold, but I’d like you to be a part of the event here in Chicago.
Dear Barack,                                                                          October 26, 2012

I spent a sleepless night thinking about you, thinking about us. I can’t do this anymore.  The message in your subject line “Stick with me,” practically breaks my heart. You know I don’t want to walk away, but I must. You believe in me. Oh, how that just adds salt to this wound! I believe in you as well. You must know this! But, it’s just too big for either of us. There are too many people who know, too many people involved now. Caroline Kennedy should have been warning enough, but Beyonce, Jay-Z (you know she told him), Bill… he’s amazing, but he can’t be trusted with this kind of thing. He always slips up.

We will always have these letters. Any time you are missing me, just read them and you will know that I am beside you, rooting for you and believing in you. We can’t fight harder the next two weeks, that battle is yours to fight now without me by your side. I will be fighting here, and will hold you close in my thoughts. But you must go forth and do this alone. Please be strong, if I ever meant anything to you. I know Michelle will be there for you, and that brings me some comfort. This is our last letter Barack. Please accept this, and let me go.



I’ll always love him in a simple shirt, sleeves rolled up and ready to work.
Image: bellenews.com

And so I’ve ended it. For the good of the country really. Barack had a point: I can already take credit for health care reform, the growing economy (look where we were when he started! When he didn’t have me, as a friend), job growth… and who knows what else I can take credit for? But in the end, this country needs Barack more than I do. Michelle needs him. So I’m stepping aside.  I will always have these letters to look at and remember…

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
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41 Responses to 30 People a Day Think I’m Having An Affair With President Obama

  1. Jueseppi B. says:

    YOU Homewrecker YOU!!!! 😉


  2. Jueseppi B. says:

    Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat™.


  3. Glad it’s over and you’ve moved on. I still get a kick out of the emails from him and Bill Clinton!


  4. rgayer55 says:

    I just want to know why Michelle doesn’t want to have an affair with me? I can write passion filled letters. I can keep her secrets. I can be her oversized white boy-toy. Why, why, . . .?


  5. Carrie Rubin says:

    So glad to know you’re able to read between the lines in that campaign mail. So many people can’t. 😉

    I didn’t get time to read the whole piece, but I’ll try to come back. Always so many things to get to in my day (am currently researching voodoo for my next novel; you gotta love fiction writing), but your writing is a joy to read, as always.


  6. Honie Briggs says:

    This completely cracked me up. I’m in pieces on the floor. I laughed my ass right off and then hit my head on the coffee table. I think I have a concussion. It’s all I can do to type this comment. Please, if the NSA is monitoring this blog, help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.


  7. Rachna says:

    You are just plain funny, Dawn 🙂 Am still chuckling. But yeah, I do hope that you know that he has been two timing you royally. I have almost all of those mails…identical …word to word 😦 Really sorry to break this to you here, this way :p :p


  8. Ha ha ha ha best first blog read of the morning smile in a long while, thanks Dawn 🙂


  9. Totally awesome Dawn. Cheered me up after the monthly visit for my head shrinking.
    Have bad news on the Google results though. Google knows who you are, via posts, google+, the NSA and assorted algorithms. Anything with your name on it, your email address, or your blog’s name, etc, will come up on the first page of the results, usually between 3 and 5.
    Tested this theory via my daughter doing the same search from her computer, on her IP. She got completely different results with my high ranking piece not even showing up on the first page.

    The bastards have taken the point out of using the analytics, and finding out if you are getting a ‘natural’ result. Since Google has stopped sending individual search results to WP we are now adrift.

    The point is… you made me laugh, out loud. Girlfriend I love you 🙂


  10. Pingback: 30 People a Day Think I’m Having An Affair With President Obama | ugiridharaprasad

  11. calahan says:

    This is pure genius. Ha.


  12. Pingback: When There’s a Fight on the Playground… | Tales from the Motherland

  13. El Guapo says:

    Honestly, I’d have kept the affair alive and milked it for the motorcade, just to make the commute easier.
    Of course, my wife would have used the Secret Service to shoot me, so maybe your moral high ground really is a better path…

    Very clever, and a very fun read!



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