Friday Fictioneers: See Amy Run…


friday-fictioneersWelcome to Friday Fictioneers, the best Flash Fiction in town! Check out our ring leader, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog, Addicted to Purple, to read the other stories, or join the fun. Rochelle provides a weekly photo prompt; participants respond with a 100-word story with a beginning, middle and end. This week, John Nixon provided the muse. The challenge brings in writers from all over the globe, and makes for an incredibly supportive, positive writing group!

NOTE: I’m headed out of the country, to Belize, on Friday. I’ll try to read as many stories as I can, but it will be hard this week. Hoping to post next week, but will have little to no wifi access. Thanks for taking the time to check out my story this week!

I’m not sure why our fearless leader posted on Tuesday this week, but it caught me entirely off guard! Man, if I hadn’t been on the run all day, I might have gotten in much earlier this week! And then… forgot to add my link, again! Dang.

I’d like to say thank you to Kate at Sincerely Kate, for sharing the Sunshine Award with me, this week. I don’t really do the question part of these awards anymore, but Kate’s a good sport and you should check her out. You can find all the details of her Sunny gift on this post.

© John Nixon

© John Nixon

(99 words)

When Amy and Rick first arrived at the secluded cabin, she particularly loved the deep, sweet-scented woods that surrounded it.

However, after Amy found a hotel receipt and a sexy note from his assistant at work, in his wallet, the floor fell beneath her.

“Have you been sleeping with her?” A direct approach seemed the obvious route.

Now as Amy ran from him, angry scarlet handprints on her neck, the trees grabbed and cut her. The dark, tangled trunks tripped her– mocked her terror.

In pursuit, Rick yelled violently, as Amy stumbled through the forest– desperately searching for help.

*    *    *

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About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
Aside | This entry was posted in Blogging, blogs, Flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, Life, Relationships, Tales From the Motherland, Women's issues, Writing, Writing challenge and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

67 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: See Amy Run…

  1. Well written. She knows. Now who is he afraid she’ll tell. This seems to have another layer. Good story. I hope she gets away from him.

    Like

  2. wmqcolby says:

    Oh yeah! Attempted murder, adultery and scary woods. This works! Love it!

    Like

  3. Cathy Ulrich says:

    Whoa. I guess it was a bad idea to confront him! Great response to the prompt, Dawn.

    Like

  4. Dawn, that’s a scary one. Are the trees attacking him, too, which is what I’m thinking from his yell, or is he just yelling in anger? If they’re only after her, isn’t that gender discrimination, punishable by being cut down and burned in a wood-burning stove?

    janet

    Like

    • I think the trees just are there, and in her terror, she stumbles over them… he is yelling in anger… but the questions make me realize the story is not clear enough. I always love your feedback Janet. It keeps me grounded in writing. Thanks for stopping by!

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      • Sometimes authors want ambiguity and sometime I miss where they’re going. I always debate about asking or offering suggestions in case they’re not taken the right way–not that I feel you would do that, but in general.

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        • I know what you mean. I’ve had a few people get miffy on me… that said, I always appreciate honest feedback. Can’t say I always enjoy it, but I always appreciate it! :-p (**And seriously, your feedback is always dead on… so thanks for that J!)

          Like

  5. Dee says:

    Go Amy go… very scary and I need to know what happens next, In my version she gets away and he trips on a particularly nasty root and breaks his neck. There, feel much better now 🙂

    Dee

    Like

  6. El Guapo says:

    Sounds like somebody’s body will be staying in the woods.
    But whos…

    Like

  7. scrbwly says:

    maybe the assistant’s body is already in the woods …

    Like

  8. Jan Brown says:

    I hope she gets away…I’m rooting for her! (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)

    Like

  9. Sandra says:

    The eternal triangle with a violent twist. Nicely done. If I had a criticism, it would be that the first two paragraphs (to me) seemed a bit expositional, like a recap on previous episodes. But you captured the flight well.

    Like

  10. Judah First says:

    Wow! Great story, Dawn!

    Like

  11. Linda Vernon says:

    Uh oh. Rick strikes me as a guy who doesn’t like the direct approach! Great story!! Very vivid.

    Like

  12. plaridel says:

    hopefully, she’d get help and survive.

    Like

  13. Ah.. never good to run through a dark wood hunted by a murderous lunatic…

    Like

  14. rgayer55 says:

    I’m reminded of the Creedence Clearwater Revival song, Run through the Jungle, don’t look back to see. Very suspenseful tale, Dawn.

    Like

  15. subroto says:

    A quick turn from love to domestic violence. Definitely a scary story.

    Like

  16. elappleby says:

    I liked ‘angry scarlet handprints’ – very vivid. I hope she gets away.

    Like

  17. Mike Lince says:

    Wow, what a great and sudden transition from romance to terror. You demonstrate such effective economy with words, probably one of the objectives of the exercise. I agree with one of your prior commenters: ‘Run, Amy, run!!’ – Mike

    Like

  18. A very thrilling and engaging story, though I’m most stricken with sympathy for poor Amy. I do hope she finds help…maybe in the arms of a man who will actually appreciate her!

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  19. Poor Amy, the sweet-scented woods turned on her! I guess the assistant will be next in the cabin, wonder how the woods will turn out for her. Very intriguing story …

    Like

  20. Gulit makes people do the strangest things.

    Like

  21. Amy Reese says:

    Oooh, I have a staring role… Ha ha. I hope I don’t die. This would be terrifying. These woods give me the creeps. Great story, Dawn!

    Like

  22. hugmamma says:

    Beautiful, yet sad. So much truth in these words from what I see on TV and hear in the news.

    Like

  23. A lot goes on in that cabin – and in your 100-word story! But it didn’t feel at all crowded. Well told 🙂

    Like

  24. Dear Dawn,

    Many apologies for the early posting. It wasn’t intentional. I simply scheduled the wrong date. To top it off I worked Monday which is usually my day off. So all day I kept thinking it was Tuesday. Then I woke to find that my story for the 28th had gone live. What the…?

    Now onto your story. Well done as always. You built the tension well. My only suggestion would be to take out the last line and work elements of it into the prior paragraph. And Rick’s yelling violently…hm…as Mark Twain said, “If you see an adverb, kill it.” …shouting, hollering….

    Okay…I’m finished. I just worked a 9 day stretch for the privilege of a 3 day weekend so I’m waaay behind in my reading.

    Again, I apologize for the early post. I’ll try not to let it happen again.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • No worries, Rochelle; you’re entitled to a wee snaffoo now and then. 😉 That said, it did lead to a real senior moment here! I’m traveling, but will look at changing the story, when I get back. I appreciate the advice; thanks!

      Like

    • No worries Rochelle! These things happen; though it did completely throw me off. 😝 Talk about senior moment! I’m on my way out of the country, I will not be able to read most of the stories, but hope to catch up when I get back. Thanks as always for your feedback; it’s always appreciated. Enjoy your long weekend!

      Sent from Dawn’s iPhone

      >

      Like

  25. A real betrayal by Rick, and poor Amy! You really manage to conjure up an atmosphere of terror.

    Like

  26. atrm61 says:

    Poor Amy-the whole world seems to be against her!Wonder why her cheating husband brought her to this secluded cabin when he was already having an affair?A ruse to get her distracted and kill her ?Loved this terrifying story and the many possible endings:-)

    Like

  27. Nan Falkner says:

    Dawn, I want to be your cat or dog when I am reincarnated – you have an amazing life and such talent. I love your writing also love Rochelle’s too. As to the story – it’s awesome, of course, it wouldn’t have your name on it if it wasn’t. Thanks for reading my stuff too – I know I’ll never be any where as good as you, but I can dream. We’re happy here in (yawn) Kansas. Nan 🙂

    Like

  28. Dawn – great story, good tension, well done.

    Like

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