Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, the best Flash Fiction in town! Check out our ring leader, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog, Addicted to Purple, to read the other stories, or join the fun. Rochelle provides a weekly photo prompt; participants respond with a 100-word story with a beginning, middle and end. This week, John Nixon provided the muse. The challenge brings in writers from all over the globe, and makes for an incredibly supportive, positive writing group!
NOTE: I’m headed out of the country, to Belize, on Friday. I’ll try to read as many stories as I can, but it will be hard this week. Hoping to post next week, but will have little to no wifi access. Thanks for taking the time to check out my story this week!
I’m not sure why our fearless leader posted on Tuesday this week, but it caught me entirely off guard! Man, if I hadn’t been on the run all day, I might have gotten in much earlier this week! And then… forgot to add my link, again! Dang.
I’d like to say thank you to Kate at Sincerely Kate, for sharing the Sunshine Award with me, this week. I don’t really do the question part of these awards anymore, but Kate’s a good sport and you should check her out. You can find all the details of her Sunny gift on this post.
© John Nixon
(99 words)
When Amy and Rick first arrived at the secluded cabin, she particularly loved the deep, sweet-scented woods that surrounded it.
However, after Amy found a hotel receipt and a sexy note from his assistant at work, in his wallet, the floor fell beneath her.
“Have you been sleeping with her?” A direct approach seemed the obvious route.
Now as Amy ran from him, angry scarlet handprints on her neck, the trees grabbed and cut her. The dark, tangled trunks tripped her– mocked her terror.
In pursuit, Rick yelled violently, as Amy stumbled through the forest– desperately searching for help.
* * *
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TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
Well written. She knows. Now who is he afraid she’ll tell. This seems to have another layer. Good story. I hope she gets away from him.
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Thanks PRS; I always appreciate your input.
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Oh yeah! Attempted murder, adultery and scary woods. This works! Love it!
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Why thank you, wmqcolby! Hard to pack it all into 100 words, but that’s the fun each week. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment; it’s much appreciated!
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Whoa. I guess it was a bad idea to confront him! Great response to the prompt, Dawn.
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Thanks Cathy! LOVE the new gravatar/photo. So fun– it reflects your personality. 😉
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Thanks, Dawn! It’s a self-portrait that I did for my new photography website. cathyulrichphotography.com I also decided it was time to update my gravatar on WP. My hair is now about twice as long it was the old one!
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VERY cool! Will check out the new website. You know I love your photography! Awesome selfie. 😉
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Thanks, Dawn! You make me laugh! I have this wonderful tool that I use for my still lifes which allows me to tether my Nikon to my iPad. I had the camera on a tripod and the iPad in my lap. So I captured the shot with my left hand on the iPad.
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LOVE the web site and the selfie… laugh away! 😉
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Dawn, that’s a scary one. Are the trees attacking him, too, which is what I’m thinking from his yell, or is he just yelling in anger? If they’re only after her, isn’t that gender discrimination, punishable by being cut down and burned in a wood-burning stove?
janet
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I think the trees just are there, and in her terror, she stumbles over them… he is yelling in anger… but the questions make me realize the story is not clear enough. I always love your feedback Janet. It keeps me grounded in writing. Thanks for stopping by!
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Sometimes authors want ambiguity and sometime I miss where they’re going. I always debate about asking or offering suggestions in case they’re not taken the right way–not that I feel you would do that, but in general.
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I know what you mean. I’ve had a few people get miffy on me… that said, I always appreciate honest feedback. Can’t say I always enjoy it, but I always appreciate it! :-p (**And seriously, your feedback is always dead on… so thanks for that J!)
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Go Amy go… very scary and I need to know what happens next, In my version she gets away and he trips on a particularly nasty root and breaks his neck. There, feel much better now 🙂
Dee
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Hmm, I like your version, Dee! 😉
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Sounds like somebody’s body will be staying in the woods.
But whos…
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Good question! I like Dee’s version. She nailed it. 😉
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maybe the assistant’s body is already in the woods …
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My, those woods are getting crowded! Thanks for stopping by scrbwly! Much appreciated. 🙂
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I hope she gets away…I’m rooting for her! (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)
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Bahahaha! Very good, Jan. Had to read it again; I’m that slow on the uptake! 😉
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The eternal triangle with a violent twist. Nicely done. If I had a criticism, it would be that the first two paragraphs (to me) seemed a bit expositional, like a recap on previous episodes. But you captured the flight well.
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I count on you and Janet to keep me honest, Sandra. Thanks! I appreciate the feedback and can really see your point. I think that first half could use some work.
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Wow! Great story, Dawn!
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Thanks! I think it has a few issues, but I was trying something a little new, so I’m really glad that you and some others enjoyed it. 😀
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Uh oh. Rick strikes me as a guy who doesn’t like the direct approach! Great story!! Very vivid.
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Thanks Linda! I think Rick is not the warm and fuzzy type, for sure. Seems I’ve been missing you; great to have your feedback. 😀
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hopefully, she’d get help and survive.
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In the case of domestic violence, one can only hope that the victim find safety. Thanks so much for reading this piece and leaving a comment. Much appreciated!
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Ah.. never good to run through a dark wood hunted by a murderous lunatic…
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Indeed! All the worst when the lunatic is your husband… Thanks for reading Bjorn, I always appreciate your feedback.
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I’m reminded of the Creedence Clearwater Revival song, Run through the Jungle, don’t look back to see. Very suspenseful tale, Dawn.
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Thanks so much Russell! I don’t generally write suspense or thrillers, so I’m glad that it worked for a few readers. ☺️
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A quick turn from love to domestic violence. Definitely a scary story.
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Yes, clearly things took a turn for the worse very quickly. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment; I really appreciate it!
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I liked ‘angry scarlet handprints’ – very vivid. I hope she gets away.
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Thank you so much; I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
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Wow, what a great and sudden transition from romance to terror. You demonstrate such effective economy with words, probably one of the objectives of the exercise. I agree with one of your prior commenters: ‘Run, Amy, run!!’ – Mike
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Thanks for taking the time, Mike. I always look forward to your feedback!
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A very thrilling and engaging story, though I’m most stricken with sympathy for poor Amy. I do hope she finds help…maybe in the arms of a man who will actually appreciate her!
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I am hoping that Amy finds safety, and then a break from men… to clear her head and figure some things out. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment; its much appreciated!
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Poor Amy, the sweet-scented woods turned on her! I guess the assistant will be next in the cabin, wonder how the woods will turn out for her. Very intriguing story …
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Thanks Perry… “the woods are lovely, dark and deep,” as Mr. Frost so beautifully noted. 😉
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Gulit makes people do the strangest things.
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It does indeed! Thanks for reading and commenting; much appreciated!
Sent from Dawn’s iPhone
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Oooh, I have a staring role… Ha ha. I hope I don’t die. This would be terrifying. These woods give me the creeps. Great story, Dawn!
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I did think of you, Amy, when I wrote this. Of course I have no idea if your husbands name is Rick, but let’s hope not! Thanks for reading… I always appreciate it!
Sent from Dawn’s iPhone
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No, it’s Dave. Thank God! Ha ha…
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After I wrote this, I remembered that I once knew a Rick and Amy… eek.
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Beautiful, yet sad. So much truth in these words from what I see on TV and hear in the news.
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Unfortunately, it is all too true, and yes, very sad! Thanks for stopping by, hugmama.
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A lot goes on in that cabin – and in your 100-word story! But it didn’t feel at all crowded. Well told 🙂
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Thanks Siobhan! I appreciate that. I think it was a mixed bag for some readers this week. Thanks for taking the time. 🙂
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Dear Dawn,
Many apologies for the early posting. It wasn’t intentional. I simply scheduled the wrong date. To top it off I worked Monday which is usually my day off. So all day I kept thinking it was Tuesday. Then I woke to find that my story for the 28th had gone live. What the…?
Now onto your story. Well done as always. You built the tension well. My only suggestion would be to take out the last line and work elements of it into the prior paragraph. And Rick’s yelling violently…hm…as Mark Twain said, “If you see an adverb, kill it.” …shouting, hollering….
Okay…I’m finished. I just worked a 9 day stretch for the privilege of a 3 day weekend so I’m waaay behind in my reading.
Again, I apologize for the early post. I’ll try not to let it happen again.
shalom,
Rochelle
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No worries, Rochelle; you’re entitled to a wee snaffoo now and then. 😉 That said, it did lead to a real senior moment here! I’m traveling, but will look at changing the story, when I get back. I appreciate the advice; thanks!
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No worries Rochelle! These things happen; though it did completely throw me off. 😝 Talk about senior moment! I’m on my way out of the country, I will not be able to read most of the stories, but hope to catch up when I get back. Thanks as always for your feedback; it’s always appreciated. Enjoy your long weekend!
Sent from Dawn’s iPhone
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Hope you can swing around to mine. Kind of a mutual passion of ours. Jewish history. 😉
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A real betrayal by Rick, and poor Amy! You really manage to conjure up an atmosphere of terror.
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Thanks Patrick; really appreciate your feedback. Haven’t written much terror suspense, but it was fun giving it a try. 😉
Sent from Dawn’s iPhone
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Poor Amy-the whole world seems to be against her!Wonder why her cheating husband brought her to this secluded cabin when he was already having an affair?A ruse to get her distracted and kill her ?Loved this terrifying story and the many possible endings:-)
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Thanks so much! It was a new direction for me; I usually leave the terror to you, and others. 😉
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😀
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Dawn, I want to be your cat or dog when I am reincarnated – you have an amazing life and such talent. I love your writing also love Rochelle’s too. As to the story – it’s awesome, of course, it wouldn’t have your name on it if it wasn’t. Thanks for reading my stuff too – I know I’ll never be any where as good as you, but I can dream. We’re happy here in (yawn) Kansas. Nan 🙂
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Nan, you are FAR too kind… and full of it too. 😉 It’s nice of you, but I think we all bring our own unique talents to our work, and I really enjoy your stories. Thanks for such wonderful encouragement!
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Dawn – great story, good tension, well done.
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Thanks so much Alicia! I appreciate the kind feedback!
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