Friday Fictioneers: Abeni Pleads


FriFicrs_zps74023d18What a few weeks I’ve had! I could not be more grateful for the support and encouragement of my wonderful writing community, on my blog and here on Friday Fictioneers. I am now officially a “featured blogger” for Huffington Post! Thanks to all of you, for this wonderful place to explore flash fiction each week; it is something I look forward to, every single week! If you are interested in reading some of the HuffPost pieces, check out my Tales From the Motherland Facebook page. If you hit Like, you’ll see all posts there. Or, visit any story on HP and hit the thumbs up near my name, to receive all posts. Now I’ll have to show them that they made a good choice.

If you would like to participate in Friday Fictioneers, or read all the great stories from this amazing prompt, by Douglas Macllroy, visit Addicted to Purple. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields graciously herds the group of Kool Kats, and hosts our weekly challenge to write a 100 word story, to a photo prompt. As always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback.

© Douglas M. Macllroy

© Douglas M. Macllroy

Abeni Pleads (95 words)

Day in and day out, Abeni works under an unforgiving sun. Her black skin glistens, and the red dust clings to her dry cracked hands.

She carries her humble grains back to her family, and hopes that her husband will be happy. His happiness is her peace.

“Your name means one who pleads humbly,” her mother told her, as a child.

Now, with a baby of her own on the way, she is tired of humble pleas; tired of authority, tired of life sucking her dry.

“I will name my child Strength; my child will not plead.”

*     *     *

GIPY

HELP ME REACH MY 2014 GOAL:  I’d love to see the Tales From the Motherland Facebook page reach 500 likes in 2014. Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, it’s where I’mforcedto be brief.  Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. I love to hear what readers think. Honest, positive or constructive feedback is always welcome. Click Follow; you’ll get each new post delivered by email, with no spam.  If you see ads on this page, please let me know. They shouldn’t be there.  ©2014  Please note, that all content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, please give proper credit. Plagiarism sucks.

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
Aside | This entry was posted in Blogging, Courage, Flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, getting published, Honest observations on many things, Life, Tales From the Motherland, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: Abeni Pleads

  1. Sandra says:

    Congratulations on your Huffington Post status! Great story too; a woman who has had enough of the role that has been assigned to her. Well done.

    Like

  2. wildbilbo says:

    I enjoyed the story, punchy ending. Congrats on the HP featured status – great stuff 🙂

    Like

  3. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Dawn,

    Who will not plead? Wouldn’t this read better with ‘she’ in place of they? What am I missing.

    I loved your story. Beautiful characterization and simple and direct writing. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • Doug, I LOVE this prompt! Stunning photo, and truly impactful. It was with me all day, as I my story brewed. 😉 Abeni’s name means to plead humbly; pleading has lead to a hard life. She believes that a stronger name will changer her child’s lot. If that didn’t come through, I need to make a change. I’ll take another look and think about the end… it is meant to suggest that her child will not plead.Thanks for the feedback! Mahalo, Dawn

      Like

  4. Dear Dawn,

    It goes without saying that you are my hero. Nice work.

    This story packs a punch, although the ending seems a bit week. Perhaps, “she will not plead.”

    Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  5. eleonorausherrigby says:

    A powerful story of a powerful personality, all within a few words. Well done!
    http://peppersfetch.blogspot.com/2014/12/nightmare-vision.html

    Like

  6. Dawn, Another great, well-written story. Congratulations on the HP assignments! They were wise to hire you. You’ll be a big asset to them. All good will goes with you to the new job. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Like

    • No hiring here, Suzanne; HP just gave me an opportunity to write (for free) without having to pitch stories. I write them; they’ll post them. A big step though. I really appreciate your wonderful support!

      I’ve been meaning to ask: For ages, you’ve gone by Susan, and now you’re signing Suzanne (which as always been on your gravitar); why the change?

      Like

  7. This is such a lovely, strong story, full of bravery. I’m not sure about the ‘they’ in the last line. I know you’ve used this because the woman doesn’t know if she’s having a boy or girl, but it weakens it slightly, and I wonder if it would be best if you just let her assume it will be ‘she’.
    Claire

    Like

  8. Cathy Ulrich says:

    Love the story, Dawn. Snd I have to disagree with Doug. “They” to me implies unknown gender and Doug’s assuming Albeni’s child is female. I’d leave it like it is.

    Congrats on the HuffPost status, too! What a great Christmas present and so well deserved!

    Have a wonderful holiday season, Dawn! I’m going to Curacao to go diving!

    Like

    • Thanks for the feedback, Cathy. Yes, I wanted to leave the sex unknown, but perhaps it does weaken the punch? I appreciate your feedback, and all of the support you continue to give!

      Curacao! Wow! So excited to see what comes out of that one!! You need a page, where we can go and see more photos! I can barely wait for the weekly challenges… even though I’m often late to responding! Happy holidays, and a wonderful New year as well. xox

      Like

  9. Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Abeni Pleads | ugiridharaprasad

  10. Carrie Rubin says:

    I’m so impressed with what you’ve accomplished this year, Dawn, especially in light of the injuries you had. I know you’ll do great over at the Huffington Post.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Congrats on your Huff post position. I am honored to say I knew you when…
    This story is wonderful. It’s very thought provoking from the way she interacts with her husband to the relationship with her mother and finally the hope for her unborn child. That’s a lot for a mere 95 words!

    Like

  12. Mike Lince says:

    I like how your main character, Albeni, has found the will to not yield to authority as her name ‘pleads humbly’ suggests she has done for too long.

    Her name, from what I was able to discover, is of Romanian derivation, as there is a town of the same name in Romania. I was wondering why her child would not also have an ethnic name. For example, ‘Síla’ in Czech could have given the ending some continuity with your title and introduction. Thus, your last line would read, “I will name my child ‘Síla’, which means Strength…” It keeps that exotic flavor going right through to the end. It is a minor detail, but one I thought I would share. – Mike

    PS – Add my kudos to those of your other many admirers for your notoriety on HP!

    Like

    • Thanks for this thought provoking feedback, Mike. I used a list of African names… and, I couldn’t find Strength, but know it must be out there. It also would add too many words to have to explain that. I opted for being a bit vaguer… Now I have to look up the name, and dig a little deeper! 😉

      Like

  13. Congratulations! I liked this story and the ending was perfect. The meaning at the end came across perfect.

    Like

  14. hbksloss says:

    What a wonderful imagination and way of expressing yourself! Can’t wait to see how 2015 turns out for you.

    Like

  15. Honie Briggs says:

    You captured the heart of a mother and the reality of women everywhere with this one, Dawn. Right now, in pain, I know my pain is temporary. This. The never ending humble plea. Powerful.

    Like

  16. storydivamg says:

    Dear Dawn,
    There are many congratulations and well-wishes to be made, but first let me congratulate you on a truly stunning flash this week. Great work!

    I happily followed the link to “like” your Facebook page. Here’s hoping I can squeeze out a little time to read your Huff Post content every now and then.

    Happy Hanukkah!

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

    Like

    • Marie Gail, thank you, thank you! I’m thrilled that you make time for my FF stories each week, no worries on anything more. Your kind words are much appreciated, but seriously, having your feedback on my stories each week is what matters the most to me. Hope your holidays are wonderful: Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas! Dawn

      Liked by 1 person

  17. One step forward – my child will not plead. May the world choose to follow that sentiment. Happy holidays, my dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Yes.. I think once you have that strength yourself you are ready to pass it to your child.. congratulations on being featured on Huffpost.. what a great step forward..

    Like

  19. Amy Reese says:

    Congrats on being named a Featured Writer at Huffington Post. That’s wonderful! All your hard work is paying off, Dawn. Great story, here. It rings loud and clear, with simple and concise writing. I hope this name will pave the way for a better life for the child.

    Like

  20. Dee says:

    Many congratulations on your HP posts, they make good reading.
    I like this story very much; we all want better things for our children and although Abeni’s name may mean ‘plead humbly’ there is strength and determination there too.

    Like

    • Thanks so much Dee. I’ve felt so very supported by my FF family, and I appreciate it more than I can say. Thanks for the kind support and feedback. It helps my improve my writing, and encourages me when things are tough. Thanks!

      Like

  21. Margaret says:

    ‘Strength’ is a great name for a child. I love how you’ve described Abeni and her toil. Powerful.

    Like

  22. Great story, beautifully written. Best I’ve read here for ages. And from strength comes strength and so on. Let happen sooner rather than later.

    Like

  23. Simple, yet effective story telling. The use of the names in this story lends it a somewhat African / Caribbean tint I feel.

    Like

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