Friday Fictioneers: Love Don’t Pay The Mortgage


This is what comes from staying up too late: you get your story in early! Woot, woot! Icing on that cake: I got to meet fellow Fictioneer, Erin Leary today! After months of trying to connect, we finally sat down for drinks and writing chit chat, today in Seattle… Double cream icing: John Cena was at the next table! Must be my lucky day, all around!

Hats off to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, who manages to keep the Friday Fictioneers going, week after week and this week contributed the photo prompt as well! If you would like to join us, learn more, or add your story, please check out her blog Addicted to Purple. As always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback.

kitchen-window

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Love Don’t Pay The Mortgage

Alice stared out the window. The fields sat empty: no corn, no soy and no wheat. The early mist seemed to accentuate the emptiness and she walked away from the sink, and wiped her eyes.

Next year we’ll double our crops and pay off this miserable year, sweetie; I promise.

Bobby had always come through on his promises. He’d promised her the moon, and they’d built a home and a wonderful life on these 200 acres.

When she’d found him slumped over in the tack room, she’d realized that some promises can’t be kept. His heart attacked, hers broken.

(word count: 99)

*     *     *

GIPYHelp Me Reach My Goals!   KAPOW!  The Tales From the Motherland Facebook page recently hit the 2015 goal of 800 likes (which I set after hitting the 700 mark)! I’m going big for the next year and aiming for 1,000!! Have you stopped by to spread some fairy dust? Follow me on Twitter, LeBron James does (yes, for real)! Most importantly, if you like a post I’ve written, hit Like and leave a comment. Honest, constructive feedback is always appreciated.

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About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
Aside | This entry was posted in Blog, Blogging, Dawn Quyle Landau, Flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, Honest observations on many things, Writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

67 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: Love Don’t Pay The Mortgage

  1. Miles Rost says:

    So…heartbreaking. I feel what she feels.

    Well done. You actually have me in a small bit of tears right now.

    Like

    • Miles, welcome to Tales From the Motherland. I appreciate you taking the time to read my piece and share your thoughts. I’m sorry you are feeling this way, but I do understand it myself. Thanks for your feedback.

      Like

  2. So beautifully written, Dawn. And such a wonderful, tragic last line.

    Like

  3. Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Love Don’t Pay The Mortgage | ugiridharaprasad

  4. There are so many ways to break promises and this is one that certainly leave you empty afterwards. I could feel her energy draining.

    Like

  5. Sandra says:

    Fantastic last line, Dawn. Very well done, early bird. Or late bird…

    Like

  6. Dear Dawn,

    So much story in a few words. Heart wrenching last line. Your story goes very well with my photo. Now get some sleep. (I’m later this morning after a night of insomnia).

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ceayr says:

    Desperately sad tale, Dawn, superbly constructed and beautifully written.

    Like

  8. At least it wasn’t suicide. You’d be surprised how common it is here in farm country. Nicely done.

    Like

  9. Joy Pixley says:

    So heart wrenching — the emptiness in the fields echoing the emptiness in her heart, very touching. You really capture that feeling of loss, not just of her husband but of their dream together. Well done!

    Like

  10. I love the last line powerful.

    Like

  11. Desperately sad – with no resolution in sight.

    Like

  12. Cathy Ulrich says:

    I can see why you chose the direction you took for this one, Dawn. The light in this photograph feels sad and empty. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Mike Lince says:

    Like a condensed O. Henry short story, you took me quickly into a rich setting with meaningful characters. Then, just like that, you managed the unexpected twist at the end. By now, after becoming familiar with your writing, I should not be caught unexpected, but that is the gift of your talent as a writer. Well done, Dawn. – Mike

    Liked by 1 person

  14. misskzebra says:

    The ending is very different to what I had expected. Very touching and a strong last line.

    Like

  15. mamaheidi60 says:

    You are so talented! Wow, that last line just capped it! Others above have said it better than I can.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Danny James says:

    Powerful. And too true for some of us.

    DJ

    Like

  17. You captured her heart ache very well.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Good story, Dawn. How heartbreaking. This is a reality that happens sometimes. We can’t really plan ahead as we don’t know what will happen. Well written as always. — Suzanne

    Like

  19. liz young says:

    Oh that was so sad. I didn’t expect him to have dies.

    Like

  20. Jan Brown says:

    Now my heart is breaking, too. Very effective writing, Dawn.

    Like

  21. rgayer55 says:

    Beautifully written and filled with emotion. One of your very best.

    Like

  22. plaridel says:

    sad story, but well told. i feel alice’s loss.

    Like

  23. Amy Reese says:

    The last line says it so simply, but yet so powerful. I imagine all the stress didn’t help any and lead to the heart attack. Nice fluid piece.

    Like

  24. hugmamma says:

    I’m certain there are many women living this story. Art imitating life…nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Graham Lawrence says:

    Great story : “His heart attacked, hers broken.” is lovely and poignant too.

    Like

  26. erinleary says:

    Lovely story, with much heartache, all in 99 words. Great to meet you at last!! Thanks for making the long drive. I hope we can do it again!!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Seems she had so much to be grateful for until then. And that’s the way life goes. Disturbing and effective.

    Like

  28. wildbilbo says:

    Difficult times on the land – it’s a harsh life, not for the weak at heart.
    Nice work.
    KT

    Like

  29. Nice scene. The conflict leads to a larger story. Nice job.

    Like

  30. Margaret says:

    Such a powerful last line – the wording’s great. A sad story, beautifully told.

    Like

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