Friday Fictioneers: He Leaves Me Hanging

Computer issues and shadowing Rochelle in Israel… in the same cities, but we never ran into each other. I’m back! I’m grateful for Ms. Wisoff-Fields and her hard work each week, and the photo prompt this week from Susan Eames.

This story was inspired by an old diary I recently came across, when I was in love for the first time. We dated for three years–– seventeen to nearly twenty, and as these things often go, it ended with a broken heart, and growth.

As always, I welcome honest, constructive feedback.


© Susan Eames



As he kissed me goodnight, I felt him leaving me. I wanted to hold on, beg him to stay; I wanted him to go and let me breathe again. It was all in that one kiss.

“Is everything okay,” I whispered, waiting for the blow.

“Sure. I’m just tired.” His eyes betrayed him. “I love you.”

I clung to the hope his lies offered.

He left me hanging, and we lingered in a bittersweet ending for weeks. When he finally said the worlds: “I think we should see other people,” I breathed a sigh. And cried for weeks.

(98 words)

*     *     *

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©2011-2019  All content and images on this site are copyrighted to Dawn Quyle Landau and Tales From the Motherland, unless specifically noted otherwise. If you want to share my work, I’m grateful, but please give proper credit and Link back to my work; plagiarism sucks!

About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
This entry was posted in First kiss, Flash fiction, Friday Fictioneers, Honest observations on many things, Love, Musings, My world, Personal change, Relationships, Tales From the Motherland, Wrting and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

53 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: He Leaves Me Hanging

  1. neilmacdon says:

    I liked “I felt him leaving me”. That’s so well-described

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such searing truth! Been there, except it was I who called it off. My first love as well, ending around the same age. The yearning for things to be different from how they were. Wanting it to be just right, when it wasn’t. Very well written.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. DB McNicol says:

    I could feel all the raw emotion in your piece…well done!

    DB McNicol
    author, traveler, shutterbug
    Author Blog
    Personal Blog

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dale says:

    Oh yes… Feeling him leave is the worst. Especially when the lips say otherwise.
    Wistful and lovely portrayal, Dawn.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nicely done and breathing of reality. I’m sure many a young couple would see themselves in this, or at least recognize part of the dance of ending and holding on and chickening out of being honest and knowing and not knowing and …
    Here’s to learning from growth.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear Dawn,

    This piece is stunning. You captured the inner turmoil so well…wanting to let go but wanting, at the same time, to hang on. Well done.



    PS I’m sorry our paths never crossed in the Land.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Shalom, Rochelle! I hope your trip was wonderful; it sure was hot while we were there! I finally got to Masada, something I’ve really been looking forward to.

      Thanks for your kind feedback; it makes my day. xo


  7. kzmcb says:

    Heartfelt tale. I’m glad I read the prologue, as it rang a true note with me, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Iain Kelly says:

    The end of the innocence of first love. As you say, a hard lesson that allows us to grow. Well written Dawn.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. A swirling mix of emotions. To end, to continue. Yes, but no.

    My go at Friday Fictioneers!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. gahlearner says:

    This is so well described and I think we all were there at some time. It’s in the eyes, they don’t lie.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I was holding my breath too. Even when you knows it’s coming, it hurts.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. bearmkwa says:

    Good capture of a hard moment(s). So hard to say goodbye.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. granonine says:

    Dawn, you have beautifully captured the agony/ecstasy of young love. Sure brought back some memories for me!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. James McEwan says:

    It is never an easy moment, ‘breaking up’ or ‘drifitng apart’. I liked how you managed to make seem real on the surface so peaceful, but while underneath emotional torment rules.
    I remeber those ‘we can still be friends’ moments. ‘Your nice, but..’
    The best one was ‘I din’t realise you were so old’ – now that made me laugh.
    An interesting read.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. 4963andypop says:

    Very convincing young voice. I agree with some of the comments above–it takes a while to realize that you cannot wish things real.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Margaret says:

    It’s such a difficult time in life, without the ups and downs of romance. Who’d be a teen again? Not me. Your story captures the angst of it all, and the conflicting needs, very powerfully.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Abhijit Ray says:

    Sometime our premonition gets the better of us. We understand, but do not want to believe.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Fantastic writing, Dawn. I felt the roller coaster of emotions and the final impact. Very well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. A good story, Dawn and so well written. I hope he grew as well as you. I started dating at seventeen and now I know we were both too young. You usually don’t realize that at the time, just years later. Suffering pain certainly hurts but helps you mature as well. —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  20. She knew long before he did. I could really feel her pain.
    Well written.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I’m reminded of an old country song, “Holding On to Nothing.”
    Outstanding writing, Dawn. Her anxiety and pain really came through.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Jackie Weber says:

    Beautifully written! The young girl’s pain really spoke to me. Youth heartbreaks are the worst.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Sandra says:

    Oh God, you got right to the heart of the ‘put down’ there. Beautifully done, and from the heart, I’d guess.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Sandra. Yes, from the scars of that broken heart. Amazing how you can go back and be right in it… or, I can. 😉 Your positive feedback always lifts me up; I so respect and admire your writing. Thanks for stopping by!



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