Friday Fictioneers: When It All Falls Apart

Couldn’t find the muse last week; this week the muse found me. Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for her weekly patience and work, and for the wonderful photo by Valerie J. Barrett. I welcome honest, constructive feedback; please take a moment and share your thoughts.



When It All Falls Apart

Standing in the kitchen Ella’s face flushed, as Sam explained for the second time why he needed space. Why she wasn’t good enough.

“I wish we could iron out our differences, but I think we’ve just grown apart.”

The kettle whistled an alarm, as Ella slammed her hand on the counter. She ignored the pain that shot up her arm.

“We haven’t grown apart; you stopped trying months ago, Sam!”

“What do you want me to say?” He groaned.

“I can’t spoon feed you answers anymore, if you don’t even love me.”

Ella took a deep breathe, and let go.

(100 words)

*     *     *

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About Dawn Quyle Landau

Mother, Writer, treasure hunter, aging red head, and sushi lover. This is my view on life, "Straight up, with a twist––" because life is too short to be subtle! Featured blogger for Huffington Post, and followed on Twitter by LeBron James– for reasons beyond my comprehension.
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27 Responses to Friday Fictioneers: When It All Falls Apart

  1. pennygadd51 says:

    For someone who claims that “life is too short to be subtle,” you make rather a good attempt at subtlety with that story! You include each of the big elements of the prompt, using them either literally or metaphorically, and you include the counter both literally – Ella burns her hand – and figuratively – she’s been ‘burned’ emotionally, and she ‘lets go’ of both the counter and of her doomed relationship with Sam.
    Clever writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sandra says:

    I love the way you utilised the items in the prompt. Skilfully done, Dawn, as I’ve come to expect.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Dawn,

    Great use of the prompt. Subtle, yet to the point. Well done.



    Liked by 1 person

  4. Very clever! I like it! Even though it’s dark.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What clever way to use the photo, and the domestic scene it evokes, to speak of the things that cannot be boiled down to anything but the truth … 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. DB McNicol says:

    I’m glad she decided to let it go…sad but that is reality.


    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dale says:

    Excellent use of the prompt, Dawn!
    Methinks they both need to move on because neither one wants to be there.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Iain Kelly says:

    I like the way you wove the prompt into the story, it felt natural. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. gahlearner says:

    I feel like everything’s already been said about the clever use of the prompt and the mirroring of feelings and actions. I think she’ll actually be better off without him once the pain is gone.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This couple sound past the mending stage. He just wants a way out. She’ll need to try and make a life for herself. A realistic and well-written story, Dawn. —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This is so good … using all the words from the image. I think it’s time to let go though.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. granonine says:

    Really good writing. You certainly used every component of the prompt 🙂 And I’m glad Ella let it go. In my counseling experience, when one partner says “we’ve just grown apart,” nine times out of ten there’s someone waiting in the wings for that partner to end the marriage. Sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Abhijit Ray says:

    Nice use of the prompts in the context of human relationship. May be they should separate. Sometimes,things don’t work out as planned.

    Liked by 1 person


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