Couldn’t find the muse last week; this week the muse found me. Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for her weekly patience and work, and for the wonderful photo by Valerie J. Barrett. I welcome honest, constructive feedback; please take a moment and share your thoughts.
When It All Falls Apart
Standing in the kitchen Ella’s face flushed, as Sam explained for the second time why he needed space. Why she wasn’t good enough.
“I wish we could iron out our differences, but I think we’ve just grown apart.”
The kettle whistled an alarm, as Ella slammed her hand on the counter. She ignored the pain that shot up her arm.
“We haven’t grown apart; you stopped trying months ago, Sam!”
“What do you want me to say?” He groaned.
“I can’t spoon feed you answers anymore, if you don’t even love me.”
Ella took a deep breathe, and let go.
(100 words)
* * *
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TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND 
For someone who claims that “life is too short to be subtle,” you make rather a good attempt at subtlety with that story! You include each of the big elements of the prompt, using them either literally or metaphorically, and you include the counter both literally – Ella burns her hand – and figuratively – she’s been ‘burned’ emotionally, and she ‘lets go’ of both the counter and of her doomed relationship with Sam.
Clever writing.
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I love a reader who gets what I’m doing! Thanks so much for your wonderfully kind words; they’ve made my day! (Admittedly, I’m only subtle in my writing 😉 )
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I love the way you utilised the items in the prompt. Skilfully done, Dawn, as I’ve come to expect.
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Nothing like the kind words of writers I admire to make my day extra fine! Thanks Sandra. xo
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Dear Dawn,
Great use of the prompt. Subtle, yet to the point. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much Rochelle! I always appreciate your thoughtful words. xo
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Very clever! I like it! Even though it’s dark.
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Thanks Susan! I see it as inspiring as well… she lets go and and moves forward.
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What clever way to use the photo, and the domestic scene it evokes, to speak of the things that cannot be boiled down to anything but the truth … 🙂
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Thanks Na’ama. I’m glad my wordplay worked for you and other readers!
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It did! Beautifully! 🙂
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I’m glad she decided to let it go…sad but that is reality.
~Donna
https://authorshutterbug.wordpress.com/
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It is indeed, Donna! Thanks for your feedback.
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Excellent use of the prompt, Dawn!
Methinks they both need to move on because neither one wants to be there.
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You’re probably right, Dale! 😉 Thanks for your feedback. xo
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I like the way you wove the prompt into the story, it felt natural. Well done.
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Thanks Lain. I knew what I wanted to do right away, but I didn’t want it to appear forced or silly. Glad it worked; thanks!
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I feel like everything’s already been said about the clever use of the prompt and the mirroring of feelings and actions. I think she’ll actually be better off without him once the pain is gone.
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Getting past pain is always the hard part though, right? Thanks for your kind words, Gabi; it’s always appreciated!
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This couple sound past the mending stage. He just wants a way out. She’ll need to try and make a life for herself. A realistic and well-written story, Dawn. —- Suzanne
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Thanks so much, Suzanne. 🙂
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This is so good … using all the words from the image. I think it’s time to let go though.
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Björn, thanks so much; your positive feedback means so much, as I love how you use words. And letting go is too often the answer, right?
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Really good writing. You certainly used every component of the prompt 🙂 And I’m glad Ella let it go. In my counseling experience, when one partner says “we’ve just grown apart,” nine times out of ten there’s someone waiting in the wings for that partner to end the marriage. Sad.
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SO true, Linda! Sorry for the delay in response… but I’ve got too many balls in the air.
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Nice use of the prompts in the context of human relationship. May be they should separate. Sometimes,things don’t work out as planned.
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That’s for sure! Thanks for your feedback, Abhijit!
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